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... Send *oubleM a private message | | | *oubleM's profile:DoubleM currently resides in Fort Worth Texas, but has lived in southern California (Hollywood), Hawaii, Europe and North Africa as well as Texas. Attended the University of Texas. Now single (possibly forever) after three marriages, one of 20 years. Mainly tries to help with sexual issues. Views and opinions are very permissive and suggestions are often brief and to the point. |
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I rarely get head but she REALLY doesn't want it herself either...
Q. I have a question regarding variety of sex dropping off in general, and cunnilingus in particular. My wife and I have been married nine years, been together for fifteen. No kids. When we were first got together we were quite open to most "stan...
A. 19 January 2009: One more thought that comes to me is that younger men and women in the early phase of a marriage (first 10 to 15 years) probably do not realize that, almost inevitably, an insidious factor will begin to affect the relationship. It is called ... (read in full...)
I rarely get head but she REALLY doesn't want it herself either...
Q. I have a question regarding variety of sex dropping off in general, and cunnilingus in particular. My wife and I have been married nine years, been together for fifteen. No kids. When we were first got together we were quite open to most "stan...
A. 19 January 2009: If I was in the situation as described, I think it might be a good idea to go along with her for a good while and back-off on any demands. In other words, if she prefers "vanilla sex" then so be it. Offer nothing else, and although you may miss it ... (read in full...)
What can make me climax?
Q. Ok i lost my virginity about a few months ago and everytime me and my boyfriend have sex i dont cum! And i really want to, keep in mind i never came before so i think it sucks thats i didnt get to experience the feeling yet. He didn't cum with me ...
A. 18 January 2009: A woman's orgasm usually requires a good amount of passionate foreplay (kissing, hugging, fondling and eroticism beforehand), and possibly oral or other stimulation to her vulva and clitoris, prior to beginning intercourse. Many women will respond ... (read in full...)
I'd like my husband to masturbate in front of me
Q. How can I work up the nerve to ask my husband to masturbate in front of me? I know he does it on his own, and I would like for him to do it with me. Would I disgust him by asking? Or do you think he'd be more than willing? I would like to get him ...
A. 18 January 2009: Some girls apparently like to see sperm begin to erupt from the urethra as a man starts to climax. If that is what you wish to see, tell him and he may indeed consider it to be quite a turn on. Some women enjoy this up close before an oral or facial ... (read in full...)
How can I move from orgasming in the tub to orgasming with my bf?
Q. I think there's something wrong with me. I can't orgasm during sex with my boyfriend, but when I'm in the tub, under the faucet, I orgasm a lot. I've been using the water masturbation every since I was 6 years old! I always fake moan with my ...
A. 17 January 2009: With some women, size is an issue, but even a normal sized guy can get in deeper in certain positions. In my experience, it seems to go deeper in the missionary position if the girl brings her legs up almost to behind her head and spread wide as ... (read in full...)
Does 10 years make a difference?
Q. So there's this guy... we have the same political views, beliefs, etc. and he respects me. i think i'm in love. the problem? he's 10 years older than me. in the future, how can this work? i've heard of many successful marriages where the age ...
A. 17 January 2009: Age difference is possibly more notable to you at this point in life, but the older you get, it becomes less and less pertinent. However, in your case, apparently since you are below the legal age, this is VERY important. He could and should be ... (read in full...)
How can I move from orgasming in the tub to orgasming with my bf?
Q. I think there's something wrong with me. I can't orgasm during sex with my boyfriend, but when I'm in the tub, under the faucet, I orgasm a lot. I've been using the water masturbation every since I was 6 years old! I always fake moan with my ...
A. 17 January 2009: Well, it would seem that you are essentially normal if you can orgasm "a lot" in the tub with water stimulation to your clitoris. One would think that oral stimulation to the same area by your boyfriend's tongue would even be better.
Does he real... (read in full...)
Want to get naughty, but parents do "room patrol"
Q. Ok so me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost two months and he wants me to give him a hand job. Im ok with the idea its just that whenever i go to his house, his parents are there and they sometimes come into his room to “check on us”. I ...
A. 17 January 2009: If you are actually in the 18 to 21 age group and living in the United States of America, you should have the freedom as legal adults, and the resourcefulness, to accomplish such a minor task. Do neither of you drive or have access to an automobile? ... (read in full...)
Threatened & raped by neighbor, I can't tell my husband
Q. ok i happy to found this site i think it help us to finde answers in all things in our life my english not good but i try do my best :) i was raped by neighbor when I was 14 years and he 25 years i think he play with me like my brother i thin...
A. 17 January 2009: We in the Western World generally do not understand the intricacies of living in the Muslim World. Although I have some experience, having lived in Libya for a year during the mid-1960s, I only know that women are generally considered as property ... (read in full...)
My fiance just doesn't want to have sex
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years over the holidays we got engaged. But the problem is for the last month he does not want to have sex. This caught me off gaurd due to the fact that sex was never an issue. I've tried talki...
A. 17 January 2009: This seems very peculiar. While I agree with "satindesire" that ultimatums are usually a last resort, does your fiance think that you would wish to marry a man who would not want to have sex in marriage? You are obviously due a much better ... (read in full...)
Do most men wake up "ready to go"?
Q. Whenever I spend the night at my boyfriends house, we end up having sex that night and as soon as he wakes up he wants to do it again because he says he's already hard. Do a lot of men do this too or is he just using this as an excuse to have sex?...
A. 16 January 2009: The answers to your two-part question are: Yes and why not?... (read in full...)
Is this going to be a 'Train Crash'?
Q. I'm in a new relationship, it has been eight years. I met a woman we had sex four times early in the relationship. I found out her ex-boyfriend was a lot bigger then i and we haven't had sex since then, three and a half months now. I like her and ...
A. 16 January 2009: It sounds to me that you are the reason the train is on the wrong track.... (read in full...)
My husband told me that most men don't like to give oral and he does it only because I like it.
Q. I have been married to my husband for seven years. I have told him exactly what I would like when it comes to oral sex. More often than not, he doesn't do it. He told me the other night that most men don't like to give oral and he does it only ...
A. 16 January 2009: In my opinion, "megan1111" explained it fairly well. Most women need a good bit of heating up and the best way to do that involves some skillful attention to the pleasure center. And I agree that turnabout is fair play. When, if ever, more couples ... (read in full...)
Just finished reading a romantic book and now I'm feeling all melancholy...
Q. hi just recently i read this romance book that i can really relate myself to the girl it was the best book ever (twilight) and i finished it in a day but as soon as id finished it it was really weird because i felt so sad and melancholy because the ...
A. 16 January 2009: You will find someone who will love you, but do not be hasty to commit to the first, or to many of those who will show interest. Enjoy yourself, but be very smart. You are extremely young and will have so many years to live even before true love ... (read in full...)
Shy girl needs help with a boy problem!!
Q. I'm 17 years old and I'm really shy. Although I have no problem making easily friends with girls I feel uncomfortable talking to guys. With this in mind...there's this guy that I'm interested in. I don't really talk to him but i'm almost sure ...
A. 15 January 2009: Just gather a little courage and smile at him. Look him in the eyes and hold the gaze. See what he does after that. He may look away, because it will possibly take him by surprise, but then after, he should gather up some courage to say hello to ... (read in full...)
My husband told me that most men don't like to give oral and he does it only because I like it.
Q. I have been married to my husband for seven years. I have told him exactly what I would like when it comes to oral sex. More often than not, he doesn't do it. He told me the other night that most men don't like to give oral and he does it only ...
A. 15 January 2009: Well obviously, I cannot speak for "all" guys - I'm just one. But I thoroughly enjoy giving a woman oral satisfaction for a number of reasons. 1) It is passionate and I just like getting down there. 2) In most every case, I love the aroma and the ... (read in full...)
Ex is good for nothing but sex!
Q. We got divorced after 21 years of marriage. After two years, I have now slept with 5 different men, but not one of them can make me have an orgasm, like my ex used to give me. My ex is a good for nothing except when it comes to sex. He won't have ...
A. 15 January 2009: Unfortunately, there is no litmus test that can be applied to tell you whether a guy knows how to please a woman in advance. You do not explain what your ex did that worked for you, but a skilled lover typically takes his time, applies ample ... (read in full...)
Is wanting to have sex with your step aunt wrong?
Q. is wanting to have sex with your step-aunt wrong? is that incest if you have only known her like 4 years?...
A. 15 January 2009: Wanting to and doing it are very different things, the latter of which would obviously involve her consent. Technically, it would not be incest, just likely extremely unwise.... (read in full...)
Unemployed but want to meet others
Q. hi, never used anything like this before, so here's my situation, i'm currently unemployed, and thus due to a lack of money I find it difficult to go out, do new things, and more importantly, meet new people. what would be the best advice of ...
A. 15 January 2009: Oh, okay, just read the earlier postings. Kind of confusing about who is who. If talking with or dealing with girls is problematic, that is quite a different issue. My suggestion is to post the issue correctly and some of us will offer response.
T... (read in full...)
Unemployed but want to meet others
Q. hi, never used anything like this before, so here's my situation, i'm currently unemployed, and thus due to a lack of money I find it difficult to go out, do new things, and more importantly, meet new people. what would be the best advice of ...
A. 15 January 2009: Well I mean well, but really, there must be something a guy in his early 20s can do in Great Britain to haul in a few bucks. I've had some recent challenges in Texas, but I've always figured that if absolutely necessary, I could tend bar at a local ... (read in full...)
Is this what it's like to be in love?
Q. what is wrong with me.. whenever me and my boyfriend get mad at each other he says goodbye then i say bye but i always end up trying to get him to talk to me. and he doesn't.. he just talks to me when ever he feels like it. and it makes me so sad.. ...
A. 15 January 2009: He is playing you like a fiddle, which is how he is likely to treat teenage girls for years to come. Then someday, he will try to treat slightly more mature women the same way, but the smarter ones will dump him like a rock, and he will continue ... (read in full...)
Unemployed but want to meet others
Q. hi, never used anything like this before, so here's my situation, i'm currently unemployed, and thus due to a lack of money I find it difficult to go out, do new things, and more importantly, meet new people. what would be the best advice of ...
A. 15 January 2009: It may sound blunt, but my best advice would be to first get a job.... (read in full...)
Would I ever find love?
Q. What am I doing wrong.....? How many times did you get your heart broken before you found the right guy your with? I've been hurt by 4 guys now and dont think I can take it any more.. I am a nice girl.. am not clingy or needy.. I give guys their sp...
A. 15 January 2009: Yes you will find love, but as "Steve S" suggested, it may simply find you. You are way too young to worry about it, be concerned about it or let it get you down. Just keep being a nice, sweet young woman and it will happen. Best wishes.... (read in full...)
Why are guys so quick to start talking about sex?
Q. Hello Dear Cupiters! I'm wondering why this is happening.. I talk to guys just fine. But when they start to mention sex a lot in the conversation, I make it clear that I'm not an easy gal! And this happens when we're just getting to know each ...
A. 15 January 2009: You've got it right, young lady. It is perfectly okay for you not to be an easy lay, yet it is also okay to kid around about sex. It is also typical (and quite normal) for guys to be showing an interest in sex with you, even at an early point, but I ... (read in full...)
And oh, the kids and all the crappy divorce war, I just don't know how to go on...
Q. How long can a marriage hold on? Do most marriages fail? I keep reading over and over again too many miserable stories and mine is on the rocks too, after 25 years. I have an unloving, gloomy husband... No affection. I'm so scared, I feel I should ...
A. 14 January 2009: You only have one life to live, and your description does not paint a rosy picture. Perhaps it is indeed time to begin with a new canvas. Start by discretely seeking employment opportunities if needed, perhaps even going so far as to announce that ... (read in full...)
He's sweet but sucks in bed
Q. I've been seeing a guy for the last few months and we started having a sex just before Christmas. He is a really sweet guy and I get on with him so well. But there's a but. He's crap in bed, and I mean that in the nicest possible way, but its ...
A. 14 January 2009: My only suggestions are: 1) Very gently mention to him that you are not being pleased, perhaps with a subtle, "I wish I could have an orgasm too," or "Wow, it must be nice to get-off every time." Something like that. Many men simply do not know how ... (read in full...)
Her bad moods are bringing me down!
Q. I've been dating my fiance for over a year. We're engaged to be married in 5 months. I love her so much and she's warm and afffectionate 95% of the time. The problems is that when she gets stressed for frustrated, she snaps at me and gets bitchy ...
A. 14 January 2009: Well, I once married a young lady (I was too young as well) who apparently loved to raise hell with me about every little trivial thing, much as you have described. While I think that "roadman" may be compatible with a screamer, and his advice is ... (read in full...)
Anyone had sex on a first date that turned into a relationship?
Q. I just wanted to know if anyone has ever had sex with a guy on a first date and it turned into a relationship? Men and Women please both answer. Thank you....
A. 14 January 2009: In my younger days, 30 to 40 years ago, i frequently enjoyed such first date activities and relationships developed with several women lasting from six months to a few years. My preference has always been one woman at a time and see where it goes. ... (read in full...)
Do older women have bad smells "down there"
Q. Hi, I was wondering if someone could help with this possibly strange question: I am late 40s, divorced 8 years and have had a string of affairs with ladies of all ages since. Now, for the most part, women my age and younger, have little or no ...
A. 14 January 2009: No, not normally a problem. My recent girlfriends have been 60, 61 and 54, and there were no issues when they had recently freshened up, such as bathing before our dates. At the end of an active day, I think that most any woman might become a little ... (read in full...)
Husband had an affair!
Q. I found out my husband of 3 years had an affair with his colleague. They even had sex. He promised to change but i do not how to forget and forgive him. I wanted to leave him but i have no heart to see my only daughter grow up in a broken family. ...
A. 14 January 2009: As I have stated so many other times on this blog, the nature of men rarely if ever change. Some may clean-up their act temporarily, but a cheater will eventually succumb to another temptation. ... (read in full...)
While having sex it felt like I had to pee?
Q. I had sex for the first time recently. At first it was painful but after a while it became incredibly good. The feeling was so strange. It was as if I wanted to pee. ( actually i didn't and there was no urine). but the feeling was such. It was a ...
A. 14 January 2009: It is a very normal sensation the first few times that many women approach having an orgasm, but rarely does it mean they actually need to urinate. Actually, men feel a very similar sensation when nearing ejaculation, but we soon realize that the ... (read in full...)
When people have relationships in their 20's do they last?
Q. i saw my cousin over the weekend (he's 24 or 26 or something) and his girlfriend is about the same age. she's a tad annoying, but nice, and he seems to like her. anyway, when people in their 20s form relationships do they usually last? any advice...
A. 14 January 2009: To be truthful, no. Young adults in their teens and 20s typically mess around with one or another - they fall in and out of love (or puppy love) endlessly. Thousands of love (or not) songs have been written about it, notably "Falling In and Out of ... (read in full...)
He lost it during oral
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for about three months now. We haven't had sex yet but we've fooled around and stuff. He's given me oral and i do him, every time i've given him head he has always ejaculated. So anyway the other night, we were fooling ...
A. 14 January 2009: You should not dwell on it, and neither should he. It happens. Occasionally, little bitty things can take away an erection for no apparent reason. Don't even mention it again and the next time, he will likely pop just fine. ... (read in full...)
Anyone done this?
Q. It's always been my fantasy to have a threesome with two guys at the same time. Well anyway, I was out with some friends and we were drinking and the conversation turned sexual. I blabbed about this fantasy and a couple of my male friends offered to ...
A. 13 January 2009: It is generally a rather trashy thing to do, and you may regret it, depending on certain circumstances. While it may be fun and sexually satisfying, you rely on the discretion by those involved. Perhaps it depends to some degree on the environment ... (read in full...)
What can I do to tighen my vaginal muscles a little bit?
Q. I had sex with a guy who had a big penis, now I think my vagina is too big for the guy that I am currently dating. It makes noises and his dick seems to be too loose when he is inside. He always asks me not to open my legs too wide because it ...
A. 13 January 2009: Kegel exercises can help you apply gripping actions after a period of time, practiced as "royaly" described, but I agree with "satindesire" that they are probably unnecessary and will not actually make your vagina any smaller (tighter). Your vagina ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has erection troubles and viagara doesn't work..how can I help him?
Q. My boyfriend is 57 yrs old and has trouble keeping an erection so penetration is impossible. He becomes so frustrated and upset and feels sorry for me. He satisfies me in so many other ways. I love him so very much and tell him that we can use a ...
A. 12 January 2009: You do not mention whether the two of you have experimented with oral stimulation. It is an activity that some mature individuals do not consider, but I'm a man in my early 60s with a lifetime of experience both giving and receiving with women. You ... (read in full...)
Is death so bad?
Q. Is death so bad? Is there anything, after we die? And if there isn't that life is just a big trip? Sometimes good, sometimes bad? How can we make sense of all that? I don't think death is so bad... It is just ending your long suffering. When life ...
A. 12 January 2009: Okay. Good question. My opinion is that life is a gift, whether by nature or divinity, and we each have to struggle through it the best we can. I'm currently going through a difficult phase myself. I'm older than you and sometimes lonely. Sometimes ... (read in full...)
I slept with him when drunk, now I regret it so much!
Q. About 3 months ago I got immensely hammered (drunk) and lost all my limits completely. My friend had recently split up with his girlfriend, however i'd been single for quite a while. His ex girlfriend was my best friend. I've always had suspicions ...
A. 12 January 2009: It is okay if you were once or twice indiscrete, we all do that in our teens. But if this guy is any kind of threat to you, report him to the local authorities without hesitation. Get your concern registered. ... (read in full...)
All my husband of 27 years wants to do is sleep
Q. I have been married for 27 years. I want to know is it unrealistic of me to want to have attention from my husband after all these years. All he wants to do is sleep. I am literally alone on the couch watching tv. He never sits by me or tries to ...
A. 11 January 2009: This is at least a signal that he may be suffering from serious depression.... (read in full...)
He wants to pee on me!!!!
Q. Hi there! Today I have a strange question.... or maybe not. What should I think about a man who likes to pee on a woman and get horny with it? Is it common? Once again, I think I know it all, but always being surprised... over and over again......
A. 11 January 2009: Urine is a waste product of the body. Where there is proper plumbing, it is supposed to be dispelled into a toilet.... (read in full...)
What you think is causing it and how can I get rid of the smell?
Q. I just had baby about 3 months ago and since I had the baby I've noticed I have a funny smell by my private area, it not a strong smell but I don't like it. The thing is I bathe 2-3 three times a day and properly I never had this problem before ...
A. 11 January 2009: You can check with your ob/gyn, of course, hopefully with just a phone call, but it might be just a slight bacterial imbalance, or perhaps vaginitis gardenella. There are other possibilities, such as a yeast infection (candidia). Probably nothing ... (read in full...)
During intercourse she doesn't seem to be able to last very long.
Q. Hello there I'm 22 year old male, I'm engaged to my partner of five years. My problem is that during intercourse she doesn't seem to be able to last very long, by this I mean she ejaculates long before I'm ready to and there is a lot of fluid. ...
A. 11 January 2009: Well it seems that your situation is the exact reverse of most every other couple's problem on the planet. Usually, as "satindesire" suggests, the problem is that men typically climax long before their women are much warmer than 98.6. In this ... (read in full...)
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