A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing this girl for a while now and I want to move things on, I want to go down on her but I am not to sure what to do or what to expect, will she tell me when she is coming and does it matter if I mess things up.
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male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (10 February 2009):
 PS - The address works if you copy and paste into the search field above, but apparently not online. I don't know why. Again:
www.dearcupid.org/question/what-advice-do-you-have-about-giving-and. html
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (10 February 2009):
First, I must agree with all the female advisors below, but will offer slightly more specific instructions since you are apparently of legal age in Great Britain. As "satindesire" and "TalkingFlowers" indicated, success largely depends upon abundant foreplay to raise her sexual apprehension, so I'll skip all that and get to the point.
Once she is naked, receptive, reclined and legs parted, as "chrissy121005" suggests, position yourself between her legs. My preference is to place a pillow under her tush to raise her up a bit, and then lay flat on my belly, propping on my elbows on the bed. First just kiss all around her vulva (basically her outer privates) - slow, warm kisses deep in the creases of her legs, up over and above her mound, then back down the other side. Make a couple of rounds, then place your thumbs on each side of her lips (labia), part them a bit and plant a lingering kiss square in the lower center of her pussy. Bury your face in it and wiggle side-to-side - make love to it with your face -then part her vulva more and begin licking upward from down below up each side, licking and kissing her labia. Avoid the clitoris at first, stopping just short of that sweet button.
Occasionally use your lips to grab her "lips," which some call "bits" in GB, and keep kissing, licking and sucking up-and-down for awhile. If she responds well to your nuzzling, at some point place your thumbs lower on each side and pull wider apart, exposing her vaginal opening. Use your fingers under her bun to lift to upward, pull apart stronger with your thumbs, then bury your tongue into her hole, swirling, slurping and kissing alternately. It's kind of like enjoying ice cream from a bowl without utensils. Just dive into her womanhood. I like to taste her deeply. Then return to licking up-and-down both sides of her labia, still avoiding her clitoral bud directly, but getting progressively closer.
Eventually, after a good while kissing, nibbling, licking, slurping and sucking these areas, including additional tongue-plunges into her opening, it will be time to direct most attention to her clitoris, but first begin teasing. This means placing your thumbs higher and near both sides of her labia, exposing her bud but first only licking around it.
At this point, she may be pushing or raising her vulva up toward your face, or you can still use your hands to encourage her upward, and then gently give her a direct kiss on her clitoris. Give it a gentle sucking, another kiss or more, then begin licking around, up-and-down and side-to-side. If she responds well, gradually increase the pressure of all your activities there. This activity should continue until she is obviously responding very positively to you, even possibly arching upward and moaning. You will likely know if and when she nears orgasm (and this is very important) - it will be time for you flatten your tongue and press it firmly against her clitoris, while pulling her upward with your fingers under her bottom. Hold this position firmly as she climaxes against your face. You can use your flattened tongue to massage her clitoris slightly as her climax occurs by moving very slightly side-to-side, but mainly press her clitoris with your tongue rather firmly. Some like it quite hard.
If all has worked well, she may have experienced the most intense orgasm of her life thus far, and don't be surprised if she pushes you away afterward, because her sensitivity will be at a very high state. It's okay, she's happy.
You can also read my much more detailed instructions on cunnilingus archived at: www.dearcupid.org/question/what-advice-do-you-have-about-giving-and. html
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009): Hi, it's completely normal to not know what to do, my boyfriend had no idea when we first started trying oral sex,neither did I, but it was ok, because we talked about this before we tried anything and it helped a lot. My advice would be to talk to your girlfriend about it first, as the other poster said, make sure she is comfortable first, she may not be, but you should explain to her that you want to make her feel good by trying oral sex. I get that this conversation might be a little uncomfortable, but depending on how open she is willing to be, the hardest bit is starting the conversation.
Now, as to what to do,I can give you a few tips and some advice, but every girl is different, and I can only speak from my own experience. I know that my boyfriend found it useful to look on the internet for pictures/diagrams of women's vagina's, as it can help to know where everything is. I'm going to assume that you know where the vaginal hole and where the clitoris is, if you don't, definitely look at the diagrams. For girls, the clitoris is like a little pleasure dome, and if you are going to give your girlfriend oral sex, then you'll want to try and stimulate this area. The best way to do this is to lick,suck and kiss it gently, and to vary your pace and pressure. Another thing is to make sure that your girlfriend is properly prepared for oral sex, you might want to start by kissing her, caressing her, making her feel wanted. She'll need to be in the right mood.
Anyway, that's the most basic information I can think to give you, but the best way to find out what she wants is to ask her about it. If you are in a loving relationship, then it shouldn't be too difficult to discuss these things, and you'll both be able to learn this way. The best way to learn is to try different things, it doesn't matter if you mess up at first, or if you don't make her come immediately, you're still learning, and hopefully she should appreciate that.
Right, I hope I've been helpful in some way, but if you'd like to ask anymore questions, then feel free.
x
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A
female
reader, chrissy121005 +, writes (9 February 2009):
well you should first make sure she wants u to do this, not many girls do. then you look at her while she has her legs open, eye contact makes it better, and then stick your tongue on her vagina. move your tongue in a 8 motion so you dont miss a spot, and go in and out too.and be safe, cuz this usually leads to other things!!!
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