A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I feel lonely. I live in a city in which the only person I had was my bf. I kicked him out a couple of weeks ago and has not come back. We had a family phone plan and I decided to look through our monthly statements and found out he was talking to another girl. When I asked him about it he told me we had split and had no right to question him. He is right about that, but I was hoping we would work things out. He has a bad temper, but he's the only person who, on the one hand had given me a sense of security and made feel like I finally had a family, but on the other hand, has treated so badly too. I miss the good times. I miss having someone to talk to. At times I feel like I can't go on anymore and wish he would come back. But I know he won't come back because he is better off without me. He has many friends and he probably don't even remember I exist. I changed my number and disconnected his since he has not given me money to pay off the bill and he's using the phone to get to know other females. I probably was not right for disconecting his phone. I just need help and tips that will help me to cope with the pain and loneliness. Do you think once he gets tired of doing whatever he's doing he'll realize he had a good thing and come back?
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ummm  +, writes (15 February 2009):
Don't listen to idiots. You can kick ass if you choose to do so. You only live once, make the effort to enjoy it! Know it's hard, it is hard. It can also be good. Hugs to you, there are thousands of people out there in the same situation as you, you are not alone.Get out there girl!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): Hi, well love is beautiful and when it leaves, it gives singers something to sing about - think how dull it would be without that. This is what you have. I think he is gone. I think you have a lot courage to get rid of him and a lot of respect and dignity for doing so. But he is gone (hug). So what do you do about it. You aren't a lost puppy - don't pine. Get busy and stop thinking. go and do things that mean you have to keep you head busy. when he pops into your head think of something else (like your ideal house) Meet people. Live. Love will follow.Hugs Star.x
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (15 February 2009):
 Let me guess, when people talk about low-self-esteem complexes you don't feel good enough for one?
YOU are the one better of without HIM.
What you need to do is accept that YOU and YOU alone are responsible for your happiness. You cannot let it depend on someone else. If you do, you are that persons toy. A puppy who wastes away because her master is in the other room.
It is trite but if you want to be loved you need to learn to love yourself.
Accept that this relationship is over and that this is a GOOD thing, for YOU. Start creating your own life. The city is filled with lonely people and they have found plenty of ways to stop being lonely. Join a club, go out, make friends. Yes this is hard but it something that can be done and once you have created a life for yourself that you can be content with, any relationship you will then enter will be of two equals.
And if you feel yourself failing, stop trying to remember the good times, remember the bad times and the reasons you kicked him out.
...............................
A
female
reader, jellybeaner +, writes (15 February 2009):
sweetie move on. theres a whole world ot there full of men that will love you and give you the respect you deserve.Im single also and it took a while to get over the loneliness but now i love it.I answer to only myself hell I even got a dog and he listens lol :).go out enjoy yourself dont let this eat at you.he obviously dont want anything to do with you or he would have done so already DONT wait for him it'll only make you crazy wondering if hes thinking about you or if today is the day hes coming back.if he does come back its only cause he knows your a sucker and it will buy time til the next fling walks into his life.dont be his doormat to wipe his feet on whenever he wants. good luck to you and be strong xoxo
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): Well done, you should congratulate yourself of getting out of a bad relationship! Of course you had good times together, but that doesn't mean that the relationship was good. Do not confuse the fact that you are in emotional shock and still suffer withdrawal symptoms from your daily fix of relationship cosines, as well as wishing that he RECOGNIZES HIS MISTAKE, with a wish for his return. You are obviously upset, because you are in a totally new situation and out of your comfort zone. I think for anyone who is in a relationship with someone described as having "bad temper" it is best to get out of that relationship ASAP. The fact that he has friends and you don't is another indicator that something was wrong in this relationship. You want someone to talk to and you want your sense you security back. You should be able to give yourself that sense of security with a little effort. Do you need "someone to talk to" because you wish for a close friend or is it because you cannot stand being alone? If it is the first then you should be patient and try getting out more/make new acquaintances (who might become friends at some point). If you have to have someone because you cannot stand being alone then you have to learn to deal with it, because that is a fact of human existence: our experience is mostly singular. Writing a diary can be a good starting point to learn to be on your own. I am currently living with a guy with whom I should have gone separate ways long time ago (I call him my ex), but because of financial reasons and because of the fact that I moved over here to be with him, I have not had the opportunity to move out yet. He has not cheated on me de facto, but talks to women over the net and has done so even when we were in a relationship. Even though I have some friends here, most of my very good friends are still in my home country, so even though he did hurt me I still find myself talking to him because he is the the only person here that knows me pretty well. So I guess went down the "felling secure" path, which believe me, doesn't make me happy in the least. For the most part I crave my own space actually.So I admire you for making that step and ending an unhappy relationship.Good luck :)
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (15 February 2009):
 Do you think that you will ever realize that you are simply being used? And that you like it?
...............................
|
