A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Me and my girl have been together for two and a half years. We have a nine month old son together. For the last three or four months she has gotten to the point she won't converse with me I come home from work she gets on facebook and stays there till two three four in the morning. I have mentioned to her I would like to spend time together and her spend a little less time on facebook instead spend it with me. This always starts a arguement about how's she is not allowed to have a life or any friends which is not true I just believe people need to nurture their relationship at times. When home on the weekend there is almost no conversation there is hours of silence while she is on facebook or reading a book. I am worried about or relationship she is always combative when I bring up spending time with me instead of facebook what can I do? I don't know if this helps I'm 37 and she's 22.
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female
reader, SophieF +, writes (14 September 2010):
The first thing I thought when I read this is that maybe this is a result of spending time at home with the baby? When was the last time you went on a date? Or she went out with some friends? Being stuck in the house can make anyone cranky and grumpy. She may feel isolated from people of her own age, feeling she is missing out on everything people of her age are experiencing.
If possible, arrange a babysitter (someone she trusts) and take her out for a meal and some drinks. Again, if possible, you could offer to babysit and encourage her to go out with some friends. It will give her things to talk to you about and take her away from the computer.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010): Facebook is something I enjoy even my husband is around, eating, drinking or sleeping. I do that when I am really bored with other stuff, whatever be it. But, your girl sounds obsessed with it, looking at her age. Try to give her a little more time and space and watch why she's doing it. FB is something she will get bored with in a few days time. But if she's deliberately avoiding you then you might want to talk about it again.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 September 2010):
She's not mature enough to realize what it means to be in a real relationship. She's likely spending so much time on there because she's longing to do the things her friends her age are doing. I would guess that your age difference is playing into this some, but that's not the whole issue.
Are you sure that whole time is spent on Facebook? If so, then I'm wondering why it would take that long. I check facebook. It takes me a few minutes to read everyone's posts and I'm done with it for a while. Maybe she's chatting with friends.
Instead of being confrontational about it, plan something fun for you to do together. Make a date. Get out of the house. Spring for a babysitter. Take her out of the place where all this goes on. Have fun together and then casually mention how much you miss having times like these together.
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