A
female
age
30-35,
*33
writes:Boyfriend and I broke up July 21st. We argued and said some really mean things about each other -back-and-forth (yes, it was very childish) He started dating his current gf 2 days after we broke-up (she's the reason we broke up) and deleted me as a friend on FB. He said that I was not worth his money or time but finally found someone who is. He even claims he is "in love with her" (which I find funny b.c they've been together for almost 2 months and he told me he was falling in love with me the night I broke up with him) I was angry at him and told his ex a lot of crap about him which she of course told him. Somehow, I got the guts to message him on FB this weekend wishing him a 'Happy birthday' he replied saying thank you and asked for my friendship since we are both 'happy in our relationships' he said that he is 'completely over me and that I was really mean' he was a bit rude and asked if I have always liked the guy i'm currently dating (they go to the same school ): ) My friends and I saw him Friday and one of them was gonna go off on him but didn't simply b/c she said he looked like he was about to cry once she brought me up and said that I have moved on since I have a bf now. He told her he's been having a lot of problems with his current gf. I'm sure he said a lot more but she didn't tell me. I feel bad for him and I hate to admit but I still have feelings for this guy. Is there a possibility that he still likes me? i mean, why does he want my friendship? or does he want to make his current gf jealous? i'm so confused! and should I accept his friend request?
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male
reader, xnickx +, writes (14 September 2010):
 I'll admit it. i've done it too. Guys keep there ex's in their back pocket just because its easier than starting a brand new relationship.
Mistake #1 was contacting him, wishing him happy birthday. It appeared you were interested in him, so he inturn reciprocates to see if he can save you in his back pocket.
Mistake #2 is feeling sorry for him. The more you feel sorry for him, the more you are willing to place yourself in his back pocket.
Can you be friends? yes. If both of you are happy in your current relationships. However if one or both of you becomes unhappy, the other becomes the automatic fall back and well, train wreck.
I am a firm believer that if it didnt work out the first time, its not going to work the next 10. The only way that ever works if you are apart for quite some time, date other people, then genuinely go back and feel that the other was best for them, but in my experience that rarely happens.
So i'd say stay away for some time. Dont be friends, and the next time you have the courage to contact him, do yourself a favor and be a coward.
Nick.
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (14 September 2010):
 He wanted to keep you around as a backup plan, in case it didn't work out with his new girlfriend. Don't bother being friends with him.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 September 2010):
 Nope, I'd move on. He's in the past for a reason. Let him remain there.
Is it possible he still likes you? Sure, but it's more likely that he's regretting breaking it off because his current relationship isn't all flowers and sunshine. He wants a backup for when he breaks it off with her like he did you.
He sounds very immature and unsure about what he wants from a relationship. Let him grow up. If you feel like you want to be with him in a few years, maybe try it again.
I can pretty much guarantee that your current BF won't like you being friends with your ex again. Why cause problems if you don't need to?
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