A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Agony Aunts, Long story.Well my boyfriend and me have been together for 2 years now and he wont have sex with me, he wont snog me and he wont even kiss me. I mean, the most we have ever done is cuddle. We sleep together but we arent allowed to do anything sexual for his sake. I dont know why this is, for example, i said that i have always wanted a child. Obviously i ment later in life but he turned and snapped; "well im defently not going to be the father"I asked him why and he said he didnt want to talk to me about it. The next day i went for a drink at about 3ish with my mate, and she said; "i heard that you asked for children"I was devastated that he wouldnt talk to me, his girfriend, about it but he would talk to her about it.I walked away, out of the pub, from her.Now i dont know why he wont do anything sexual with me?Have i done something wrong?I dont know what to do... Why would he go to some other girl and not me? Any advice on why? Thank you to anyone that gives advice. x Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know that people would find it dumb to hang around since waiting to kiss for the last two years, but i love him? x
Thanks for the help btw :) x
A
male
reader, John0101 +, writes (1 December 2010):
You have a few possibilities:
1. He is extremely principled and doesn't want physical relations before marriage, though that wouldn't explain his aversion to ever having children;
2. He's gay. If you're cool with that, be his friend but not his lover.
3. He could have been molested as a child, have parents who've told him sexual relations are 'dirty' or have some other dreadful experience that's put him off sex for good. In this case he needs a therapist to help him.
One way or another, you have a long road ahead of you to be physically comfortable with this man. Good luck, but I'd think long and hard before committing yourself to an exclusive relationship with him.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 He's a boy who doesn't understand the importance of communication, that's for sure.
Really, it's his decision if he's ready for sex or sexual contact. If he's made it clear he's not ready, then it's for you to decide if you're willing to wait.
Honestly, I would call this more of a friendship than a BF/GF relationship. 2 years and not even kissing. You wouldn't catch me waiting around that long.
Whatever his reasons for this, you'll never know unless he talks to you about it. If he's unwilling to even talk to you, then this relationship is over. You can never work through a problem if it's never discussed.
...............................
|
