A
female
age
36-40,
*ostnlove23
writes:ok someone has to help me, I am married and have two kids,unhappy in my marriage and i have become friends with my husbands friend. We have been meeting up sexually and i have fell for him. The thing is he just got out of his relationship and is single but when they were together he wanted to be with me and then just decided we wouldnt work. We stop getting together because i wanted more from him, and recently he has been stopping by and we have talked about my feelings and he tells me how great i am and wonderful i am. Now he has met a girl and still sees me and tells me he isnt dating her but wants to bring her to my house party and knows im jelious. I know its a game for him but i really want to be with him. My husband doesnt treat me right and i dont want another marriage i just would like to see where we would go. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): What a mess. Not only do you want to cheat, you want to cheat with your husbands's so-called friend. Who is also going with others.
What about your husband? How would you feel if it was the other way round?
A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (4 December 2010):
How did you come to the conclusion that he drove you into another man arms, more like bed. Did he abuse you so much that you forgot what a divorce was? Why are you trying to date a man and sleep sleeping with your husband (the abuser) what man would want to date you know you’re getting laid by another man on a regular basis. Even if you’re not he will think it.
This man don’t want you can’t you see that, heck he went and found someone who isn’t getting laid by her h8usband. You’re use goods by more than one. Who in their right mind is going to want that? What does he supposed to say I love you? Please. He got his and now he’s gone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): First of all, it is a really bad idea to use another man sexually as a means of 'getting by' with a bad marriage. You've just taken a 'bad marriage' to the category of an ended marriage.... So why not just face facts, buck up, and end it in the light of day.
Now as for having sex with your husband's friend... I can only hope for his sake that your husband never learns of this and that your husband doesn't have much of a temper. Guys don't take too kindly to their friends having sex with their women... especially when one is their wife.
Now that your sexual use job has resulted in your having 'feelings'... well, you may have to take it on the chin... While you are there for him sexually, he's taking someone else to dinner. That's the problem with these sex hook ups... its hard to turn them into anything romantic or sweet...
Now that he is single you must also face the probability that he'll end it with you when he develops feelings for his girlfriend... Not a good place to be in.
Treat yourself with respect and take care of yourself...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): "when they were together he wanted to be with me"
Yes, he wanted to cheat on his other woman, and get another woman to cheat on her spouse, which gives him one up on the other guy. Now he's proven you are a cheater, and you want more, but all he wanted to do was prove he could get you to cheat on the other guy.
"I know its a game for him but i really want to be with him. My husband doesnt treat me right"
So, you go to another guy who doesn't treat you right.
Which is what most of us do when we are in bad relationships, even if the "bad" is our fault, not our spouses.
You need professional help to work on this, don't try and think that you can understand your behavior without outside help, our psychology just doesn't work that way. Get a counselor and work on YOURSELF and then maybe you can work on your marriage. However, if you have no children, you might just want to start over.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (2 December 2010):
 You need to take things in the proper order, which you haven't.
Step one: Deal with your marriage. You need to confess to your husband what you've been doing and/or file for divorce. You cannot have any real relationship with anyone else until you are out of your current one. There is nothing to pursue with another person as long as you're attached.
Step two: Decide what you really want. Do you really want this other guy, or are you just infatuated with him because he's giving you what your husband isn't? Can you have a real relationship with someone who helped you cheat on your husband?
Step three: Make it happen. It won't happen over night, but you can get what you want as long as you're dedicated to making it happen.
Take things in the proper order. What you're doing to your husband is cruel and nobody deserves that, even the worst husband in the world. Get a divorce and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): Omg I feel so bad for u. Its normal to fall to anybody closes to your husband when your mad @ your husband or annoyed w/him. U can't expect his frien not to have a life either he is a single man. Don't forget u have a life a husband and kids he doesn't,he's not going to sit there and wait around for u. Your more like a booty call if your not happy in the marriage leave and try to find somebody else obviously his friend is more of an asshole for cheating w/his friends wife and now wants to bring some girl to your house party what does that say about him!! U need to move on prob from both men for yourself. Unless u think u and your husband can work things out if not get rid of both escpecialy the friend he's not even thinking about u right now.
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