A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:this is 1 for the guys can a lepord really change its spots ? my bf has cheated and sent flirty messages to toher girls and met up with girls behind my back will he change like he says he will do or will this carrie on ? from a mans point of view i think you guys could really give me an insider oppinion ... how faithful are men ... really ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008): well in my oppinion you cant blame one person for the whole i believe most people will agree hitler was a creep but do i think all germans are creeps no i dont.of course i cant speak for all men but i can speak for myself and that is this i will never cheat iv been in love with a girl for a very long time now and even though she is in a relationship i still cant bring myself to see other women even though we never even had a relationship i wouldnt be able to string them along when all i could think about is her,so at least i consider myself very loyal.-michael
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (11 February 2008):
 "I think men are always tempted they are like ''dogs'' to a certain extent I will never trust a man, the only one I can trust is my dad"
Oh dear, how sad... It's nice to be branded a dog :)
Despite all my bad experiences with women I'm glad I don't think them all the same... I'd end up a very lonely old man.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): If you count all men out there, the percentage of men that are faithful is almost the same as the percentage of women. Most accurate studies and surveys will bear this out. But that's the sticking point -- I don't think most women really count ALL men in their thinking. They just count the ones they're most interested in. Women spend most of their young single lives disporportionately thinking about, dating, breaking up with, and even cheating with, the worst few percent of all the men out there. Bad boys, players, whatever you want to call them. And then women complain that "all men" are cheaters and dogs who are willing to screw anyone on two legs.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Some of the posts here are offensive rather than informative, but they represent a point of view that many women share and we need to respect. Also, the purpose of this site is not that agony aunts and uncles get into debates of their own, for their own purposes, but to provide points of view to posters.
In that sense, I would like to point out that the belief that "all mean are cheaters" and "dogs are more faithful than men" is only the reverse of that old saying, "all women are whores". Believing that all men cheat is a gross generalization. More importantly, it is not true. Many if most men do cheat; but not all do. It's important that you bear this in mind.
For you, dear poster, I have one comment to make: if a woman has only been involved with cheaters, how is she to really know whether a man would stay faithful to her? She can only judge on the basis of the men she's been with. If all you've eaten is porridge, then you don't know the taste of chili, do you?
More concretely, I wouldn't trust your boyfriend. But I wouldn't think he represents all males.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 I think at your age asking for a full on commitment is pretty unrealistic. I think it's very important to date around, that is really the only way you can find the traits you like or dislike in a future partner, one that WILL be committed to you and only you. That kind of love can be found but you need to be able to spot it when it comes over the horizon. I think cheaters, both men and women, have certain flaws in their characters and if they don't address them they are doomed to cause life long havoc and hurt to their partners.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (11 February 2008):
 No men are not like dogs, at least not all of them. SOME men cheat, and Some women cheat. Basically people cheat.
Some will be faitful til they die and some cannot wait til they can get someone new. So thats my take and the anons view below is very cyanical and misguided.
As for your bf i would leave him as he proberly wont change so theres no point in you getting hurt anymore.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): I think men are always tempted they are like ''dogs'' to a certain extent I will never trust a man, the only one I can trust is my dad :)
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (11 February 2008):
Of course men can be faithful and you cannot generalise. Yes, some men cheat and so do some women.
Given your situation you could give him one last chance, but this is the final chance. If he does it again then ditch him and move on.
Sometimes people really do learn from their mistakes and do change. Sometimes they don't.
As to whether your bf can be faithful, well, he's already proved he hasn't been so far and it's extremely difficult to earn that trust back once it's been lost. Perhaps you two should talk about this and let him know how you feel?
Best of luck :)
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Well! I would say a dog is more faithful than a man. LOL!
If a man wants to be faithful, he can but if you want to be absolutely sure he remains faithful forever to you , you need to go and live on an island where you are the only gorgeous female on that island.
If you live in the real world, there will be many sirens and witches which will tempt him and being weak, he will succumb...
Can a leopard change it's spots?
Yes! You can by whitewashing him and paint some stripes on his body .LOL!
Does your b/f flirting with other females and meeting them is considered 'cheating' ?
Does it mean that once a man has a g/f , he cannot flirt anymore or just meet any other females?
This is the female law? Which law is that?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (11 February 2008):
It's difficult to give one answer to this question. We're like 3 billion men in the world, so on that basis alone it's impossible to generalize.
If you ask whether many men cheat, yes, that's true.
Will your guy change? Very unlikely, because he cheated and got away with it. And he doesn't expect a reaction from you because you know about his flirting.
Can a man stay faithful? Sure. Will he be YOUR man? I can't tell.
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