A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Before I say what happened I would like to say I am a genuine person and not a player! rite..I was out last nite and I gathered the courage to ask for this girls number. I know her friend and had a bit of a dance with her. I asked if she had a boyfriend and she said no - so I said I think she is pretty. I was wondering if I could have her number but I understand if she didn't want to give it me coz she doesn't know me that well, but she gave it me anyway!So I'm just wondering how long should I leave it to ring her? I have been told a week but I think that is too long, and what should we do if I ask her to meet up? I was thinking going cinema but it seems way to soon and forward.
View related questions:
player Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): Don't wait too long. When you call have a date idea in mind. That will show that you are a leader and that you are confident.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): If she gave you her number then she wants you to call and she won't think anything about when you called. (unless you wait too long) I would say not to call her right away...Just give it a couple of days and call her to see how she is. If you met her on a weekend then I would say call her around Wednesday. If it was during the week then just wait a few days then call. GOOD LUCK....you sound really sweet and the fact that you asked this question shows that you are a good guy! I hope everything works out for you!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): It's different with every woman... With my ex it was a matter of hours before we were chatting on the phone...With a woman recently, a couple days was too soon and she thought I was being pushy!I go by the rule if you like them, let them know. If it's gonna work, and your right for each other, time isn't a massive issue (wether it's 1 hour or 1 week!)And at the end of the day, if she gets funny about it, she's not right for you!follow your heart dude! Do what you feel is right and you can't go wrong!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 February 2008):
 That was an interesting theory you posted, Danielepew! Three days just seems like you like her enough to contact her sooner, not too soon that you seem desperate, but longer than that and maybe it's because you're bored and have nothing better to do. It's really not rocket science I guess--just what would feel most appropriate to the girl. If he's really interested in her, but doesn't want to get off to a bad start, shouldn't he be working off what the women think?
But ruling out the 'players' is an interesting thought. If she were a 'player' would she have given him her number?
Oh, at the end, it's all just speculation, isn't it? If there were a proper rule book for dating, it would be much easier for all of us, and there wouldn't need to be a dearcupid! Imagine the desolation....
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): to Denielepew - Yes that is one way of looking at it I guess but the other thing that would worry me after a week would be that if a guy was a player and he had got a few numbers from different girls, he might be phoning me as 2nd/3rd choice having phoned the others first and been blown out (I know a couple of cases where the girls found out later and were furious). Re the love of your life, also, I think when you meet the love of your life, all the rules go out the window anyway so it's a completely different feeling and you usually would know - one of my female friends met her 'the one' (now married with 2 kids) after being treated like crap by her two previous men and she said they sat up all night talking about life/values etc on the actual first day that they met and they were living together within 3 months!! But it's definitely an interesting one, the 'when to call' etc debate! My friends and me have analysed it loads over the years. Having said all this, my partner, who is the absolute love of my life, waited nearly 6 days to call me after our first date because I was away with some friends and he thought he was doing me a favour leaving me to get on with having fun with them and enjoy myself whereas I wanted him to call within 2 or 3 days! Who knows!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): the 3 day rule is best. not too desperate but still sounds interested.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 February 2008):
 It's interesting to see the posts by the ladies. Once, I was given a very good piece of advice. If it's not, ladies, let me know. The advice was that you should wait for a week. Why that long? Because players will have forgotten you by then. Only someone with a true interest in you will still want to talk to you after one week. And, if you're not a player yourself, that's the kind of girls you want.
Think of it this way. If the man/woman of your dreams came up, and s/he called you after a week, would you say "Now get lost because you took too long to call"?
This is an interesting thing for me. Like I said, if any of the ladies would like to expound on why three days, I'm all ears.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): re what to do, cinema is fine - my partner took me for a meal and then to the cinema on our first date to see a comedy which had a bit of romance in it too and I really enjoyed that - alternatively if you want to keep it light you could just go to a nice fun bar for a drink and whilst you are there with her, get talking about films and ask if she fancies seeing a film with you sometime ..
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): Don't go by 'rules' too rigidly and def forget abut games and all that but having said that you don't want to come across too over keen or pushy either (not that i'm saying you are but you know how people interpret things sometimes) so I'd say call her within 3 days but don't leave it hanging on for a week because she might think you have lost interest or are being 'gamey'. if I gave a man my number I would like to get a call within 3 days/on day 3 is fine but waiting for a week would bore me, unless there was a very very good reason for it. Have fun.
...............................
A
male
reader, Arkiteck +, writes (14 February 2008):
I always abide by the 3 day rule (granted i haven't had to in close to 7 years.) but you have to play it right. Alot of women, as evidenced here, feel that it's a game. You have to be genuine with your intentions be honest and upfront with her. but relax and have fun with it. You're thinking about the date is right on track, nothing too high pressure. Do what you feel is best, but don't come across too eager of overbearing as i've found women hate that.
...............................
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (14 February 2008):
 Today is Valentines Day its not too late to ring her and take her out for a meal. If she agrees, be sure you buy her a lovely bunch of flowers too. Good luck Hun. Dusky xxx.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 February 2008):
Don't wait a week, that's too long I think. Laura is correct here, 3 days is a good number, not too soon and not too late.
When you do speak, ask her if she likes the cinema, and if she does, ask if there are any films she'd like to see with you. Watching a film for 2 hours means you won't have to talk all the time! Remember, she did give you her number, so she does want to hear from you.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): You sound like a very nice and sweet guy. Anyway I think this whole 3dy rule thing sucks and makes no sense. I dont see why people feel the need to play games! You are keen, she is keen so what is the problem?! I say call her whenever you feel like it. Personally if I met a guy and he calls me a few days later I would either think he is into these games / 3 day games / whatever OR that he may be a player or not as interested in me. We live in a time where romance is dead and people are too uncomfortable to show their true emotions. Life is too short - so just call her I say!About where to go - I think cinema is not a good place for a first date as you barely have time to speak to each other and get to know each other properly. Maybe take her out to dinner somewhere not necessarily fancy or expensive but just where you guys can chat and get to know each other better. But then again if you feel nervous about that then cinema is a good enough options as it will take away any first date awkardness you may feel!Anyway good luck with it all !
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 February 2008):
 If you asked for her number, she will expect you to call within 3 days. Just call her up to say 'Hi!' and chat with her.
If she is interested , she will come out to meet you . If you do not know what to do or where to go , you can ask her.
...............................
A
female
reader, Variety +, writes (14 February 2008):
 If you want to call her now then do it. It will show her you are genuine and don't care about the stupid rules that people are supposed to follow in dating. x
...............................
|
