A
female
age
41-50,
*unshinegal
writes:I had been living with my boyfriend for about six- seven months. We loved eachother and we spent everyday together---things seemed perfect. We talked about getting married one day, spending the rest of our lives together, about buying a house. My boyfriend got offered a promotion at work to be the general manager and this caused a lot of stress in our relationship because he was working the majority of the day and taking his work and stress home with him. A little over a month passes and he comes home one day and ends things. He tells me that we can no longer live together or be together and that he needs his space. So I moved, and gave him the space he needed. Within a couple weeks I had recieved a job offer out of town and when I told this to him he begged me to stay saying that he couldn't loose me and that he loved me with all his heart. So I stayed. We have started to spend time together and we are starting to have a lot of fun together again. We have had sex again too...Is it too early to ask him to recommit to being my boyfriend? If he loves me with all his heart, and I love him with all mine...and we spend every second day together and have had sex numerous times....what is keeping him from asking me to be his girlfriend?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 February 2008):
 You gave him everything on a platter and he did not have to pay or work for it.
He is like a free loader. Even if you get that response from him , it is only playing around with words and it means nothing to him.
When he gets tired of you , he will change to a newer modal.You made it easy for him and if he dumps you , you have only yourself to blame.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 February 2008):
 Your question is a very good one. I think you should know the answer, the sooner, the better. You need to know where you stand with him.
I wish I could say otherwise, but I feel uneasy about him. He was living with you, you were talking about marriage some day, et cetera, and then he dumped you. And now he is NOT living with you, is NOT "officially" your boyfriend again, but doesn't move in with you. I don't see what could stop him, other than not really wanting the relationship. I do see he is keeping you nowhere. You can't claim you have something serious with him, you aren't free to go, you gave up that job offer, and you can't just put him behind you and rebuild your life.
He was selfish when he asked you not to take that job. He wasn't offering a thing but he wanted you to give him everything. Which you are giving him.
You need a very clear answer from him. And he needs to make up his mind: does he or doesn't he want you? He won't answer the question unless you push. Do push. If you don't get commitment from him, leave him.
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