A
male
age
30-35,
*irgin89
writes:well i have plenty of experience when it comes to pleasing a woman.. i don't wanna sound cocky bc i am young and i have things to learn but we are very much in love and as you know in a relationship you want to please your partner.. well i know what pleases a girl i'm just not getting anywhere with her.. she sees that me rubbing her clit for 30 45 min till my arm feels like it's gonna fall off..lol gets her off and she's satisfied with that.. but like she doesn't get arroused or horny.. she's been "wet" one time.. she's just so turned off by that bc she's wanted to stay a virgin until marriage which we're not doing till marriage but still i've never had a problem with turning a girl on and she's my Biggest challenge.. like i finger her and she's even got a little sister or 18 and she told her that her first time to be fingered was amazing but when i finger her she just sits there with a blank face and says yeah i'm getting nothing out of that.. i went over a year without doing anything sexual with her and i'm thinking i've lost my touch.. idk.. what am i doing Wrong?!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): now i know that a man is not always the best person to ask about a girls thoughts but my advise to you would be to be ready for change because not all girls are the same. some like jocks others bookworms. there are wemon who love openly sexual men and those who find shyness cute so be ready for any type of woman who come your way but be careful they may seem innocent at first but they love just the opposite of what you think.
A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (6 May 2008):
 "rubbing on a girl for 45 min" --ugh, that sounds so horrible. I've never thought of it as "rubbing". It's caressing, fondling, touching... but not "rubbing". Maybe it's just a matter of words, but my feeling is that you should learn to be a bit more gentle and sensitive. Also stop concentrating on one place. You sound like you're rubbing two sticks together to try and make a fire. I don't think it works that way.
The reason she wasn't getting wet is pretty obvious -- you were working away so hard that she knew exactly what you busy little fingers were doing -- trying to "rub" her to a climax.
The other aunts gave you good suggestions. Try for more atmosphere, try to lover her whole body rather than just one part.
All the above is born of bitter experience. With my first girlfriend, I was pressing so hard I couldn't even figure out where the clitoris was! It was only when I slowed down and used my legendary "feather touch" :) that I finally found where it was!
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A
male
reader, virgin89 +, writes (6 May 2008):
virgin89 is verified as being by the original poster of the question wow.. the advice helped tonight alot.. still nothing from the fingering but she said it was the best night ever.. i was about to pass out from the work, lol no sex, but hey she really wowed me tonight.. thanks for the advice girls.. i just dk if me telling her in the nice way that some things she did were amazing and other hurt will keep her from wanting to do anything with me.. when i talked to her about it she was like oh damn i suck at life.. i'm sorry baby that i can't please you.. i was like UGH wtf.. :( what did i do wrong.. and how can i fix it.. i'm sorry i don't wanna be selfish but after rubbing on a girl for 45 min and hearing her moan and feelin that wet.. you get the picture i'm pretty ready to get off myself and i'm always left stiff.....
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 May 2008):
 You have the great fortune of a woman that tells you she isn't getting anything from your lovemaking. It would be way worse if she didn't say anything and her insatisfaction just stewed.
There is great advice in the site, but I think you should generally go with one principle: ASK HER. Explore together what she wants.
You have a headstart. Don't waste it.
Maybe you're feeling bad because every girl was just OK with you and this one isn't. Well, the good part is that you can correct it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): Let me help you out.. When we're young- we tend to think we know more then we do- maybe we had one or two relationships and some one night stands and we think we're it! But this hardly the case. Sex between a loving, lasting couple is way better then a 1 year spin, a 1 night stand or even a friend with benefits. Over time you learn each others bodies- and just when you think you've "arrived" you do something that you never did before that maes your partner scream! So- hold on for the ride and enjoy your progression with this young lady. If se doesn't want to have sex before marraige , she may be turned off by the fact that ur not respecting that. But, in any event, if you just want to turn her on with some light touching these are my suggestions: make sure the setting is right, candles, nice sexy music, etc. also- caress her body for a long time before diving into her panties. Caress her back and slowly slide down to her legs and pend more tme around her lower back and butt. Slide your hands between her legs over her clothes and gently massage her there for a while. Massgae her chest over her bra and don't rush this process. When you squeeze her breasts- do it gently and with interest. Then ask her how she is feeling, whisper in er ear, and kiss her neck. That should help!Once ur hand enters her pantees- you'll need to make sure she's wet- otherwise it will be a turn off. Women are very senstive. Don't do the same thing for hours- but mix it up- also- look up about finding the g-spot and how to lightly touch the clit without over stimulating it- if you rub too much and too fast at first- it will become less sensitive and harder to arouse!
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