A
male
age
41-50,
*heOne_25
writes:I am posting this because i am really looking for non involved opinions and what you all think about this situation.First and foremost I am gay I have just started dating this guy about 3 weeks ago in which we flirted on and off for at least 5 months. Well we finally went out and saw eachother a bit and we are now exclusive.He is 31 and i am 25. He was involved with a guy for 2 years committed domestic partnership a few years ago and then dated someone for 2 months not that long ago, but he says with me its totally different and hes never felt this way.He says a lot of deep things to me that he has really liked me a long time, that he is very undeserving of me and can't figure out what i am so interested in him, that i brighten up his day, and the like, but his eyes always say a lot more when he looks at me. Just that look says a lot the way he gazes in my eyes with tears. AnywayHe is a busy guy and doesnt have a lot of time, however he makes the time for me and i have to say he is great at doing so. We have not had sex or any form of fooling around at all, he lately has been saying to me that he likes me so much that he is afraid that if we have sex he will loose interest. On the same note he also says to me i need you in my life, i've waited so long for this and i cant afford to loose you.Now not having sex with him is not an issue to me but its really starting to confuse me because of the great things he says to me. I told him when he is ready then we will if not then that is totally fine for now - but he cant avoid this forever, because of a silly thing of he might loose interest.. he says he has never been so open and honest with someone and he doesnt want to screw this up and again that i'm special to him. He also says he doesnt want to move too fast , which we are not, and wants us to go at the same pace we are, i agree with him - however these feelings and emotions that he expresses to me have become more frequent since said of the pace of our relationship.My thinking is he has a lot of built up emotion inside and feelings for me that he wants to say and maybe is afraid to say because he might think he'll scare me away?? Is it possible thats why he doesn't want to have sex also?Just looking for outsiders opinions on this oneThanks
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male
reader, JHJ  +, writes (24 July 2007):
hey pal, i sent the last reply and then realised its anon, I posted a question recently about my guy trouble, it can be a lonely business some times being in luv, if you fancy having a chat we can exchange ideas on our respective boyfriend issues...here's my recent post..things have moved on a bit and we have got it together a few times but still have problems progressing things...i wrote...I am a guy who met another guy(we are both gay and out) about 6 months ago, by chance i have been 'bumping' into him more of late and each time there are butterflies and fireworks between us to a point we can not really speak properly beyond basic small talk.Once we have had eye contact he usually just looks down and thats it, though I usually get his eye full on when he's at a distance. I can understand he is nervous but can do little to help as I am pretty spaced out by him when he's around. I feel like we know each other inside out but of course we do not know each other at all really. (It's wierd sort of like meeting a work contact for real that you have only ever known via email but obviously more dramatic, you know them but you don't know them).Decided that the best thing to do would be to avoid him for a bit to give us both space to get a grip, or realise that I or we are imagining things. My only worry is that he might think that I have gone off him. Am I doing the right thing?. I figured that if does really like me a few weeks of not seeing me should not change things to much.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): Is a tricky one...I know when I first fell for my current boyfriend, I had this feeling that I did not want full on sex with him, though I did want lots of physical contact with him, I guess sort of like it might spoil things, but eventually being human got the better of things. Maybe it is part of the initial phases of a relationship when some one is transfering from being some preciously nutured fantasy in your mind to being a real life human being, can be hard to take in. Why not try going for lots of non-obviously sexual physical contact might get him going after a bit..I reckon he will snap out of it after a bit....
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (23 July 2007):
 Yes, there might be a lot of emotions and feelings behind, but I think you should get to the point: eventually, you'll need some sex. And "you" means "you two". If he says all this wonderful things to you, well, he should have the confidence to tell you if something is wrong.
I don't think you should push him now, but eventually you'll have to. This is somewhat hard to understand.
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