A
female
age
41-50,
*urmal
writes:I have been with a lovely man for just under nine months now and after about 4 months I blurted out I love you which he didnt say back. he treats me very well and is so sweet to me and reliable and says things that he loves about me or loves being with me but never the I love you and its killing me i feel tearful allot of the time as thought Im not worth him saying that to me and it makes me insecure aswell.Im 33 and he is 26 and he has never had a problem with age difference but I do Im scared that he wont the same things out of life as I will as he is so young.And he has talked about living in another country at some point and is obsessed with Australia but where does that leave me? he truely doesnt act like were just a bit of fun but I have talked to him about the fact that he hasnt said I love you and about where does it leave us if he wants to go abroad I cant just sit around and wait for that day, he said he has been careful about saying that because he didnt want to feel trapped if he wants to go abroad and I said had he thought about seeing how we go and maybe that was something we could do together which he replyed that he had thought about asking me more and more but he was concerned that he would be asking me to go along with his dream, So I never got a true answerAnd I keep wondering is he stringing me along but when I talked about calling it off a few months ago he was devestated and even cryed saying he didnt want to loose me.He was a very shy person for quite a while until I got to know him and he hasnt had a longer relationship that a couple of months before me and they always finishes with him.But he will do anything for me and is trying to book holidays with me at the moment so Im so confused as to what he wants.helpthank you
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (23 July 2007):
 My concern here would not really be the age gap itself, but the different interests he has. I didn't find his words convincing. You gave him the option of going to Australia with you, and he came out with a quick evasive answer. My take is, when you don't get straightforward answers, the answer is usually negative. Then, he doesn't say I love you, and this are his words, because he doesnt' want to feel "trapped".
I'm afraid this is not the kindest thing to hear, but I don't think he really loves you. It seems that, for him, an "I love you" implies a commitment, and maybe he isn't ready for that yet, after nine months; but, anyways, it doesn't look good.
What to do? You said The Three Words. He hasn't, and you don't really know if he ever will. Maybe you can wait for some time, to see if he does commit, but eventually things will come to a point where he either says he loves you, and commits to you, or you break up.
Only you can tell if he's worth waiting.
I hope this helps.
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