A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:For the last several months I've been having sexual dreams about people who I've never seen or met, probably not even real. I've told my wife about them because it usually has me being very slick in the way I talk these women into being with me. I'm not very good at that at all in reality. Anyway this last one was a little weird. It involved me meeting two young ladies around our neighborhood (none of the neighborhood nor the young ladies were familiar). This was also the first time I've had a dream like this involving someone other than Caucasian, which is what I am. The girls were African Americans. In my dream, however, I was married to my wife too and when I went back with the girls to their place and started kissing one of them heavily, it felt very wrong. It got as far as me exposing her breasts before I got upset and started crying because of cheating on my wife. I left without actually having sex but still felt terrible. Now in my real life I have never cheated on my wife and I wouldn't. I haven't even thought about it. The only thing I can think of is that my wife and I haven't been having much sex as I'm quite frankly not wanting to. My libido is very bad. I'm 42 and been married 7 years but I've never been a sex freak even when we met 12 years ago. So is this my libido wanting out or is this me wanting to be with someone other than my wife?
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breasts, cheated on my wife, kissing, libido Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 April 2017):
 Everyone has dreams, one's where they probably don't want to share with their other half. Don't let it worry you that you are secretly wanting to be with another women, it is probably more than likely sexual tension. Try upping your libido by taking your wife away for a romantic weekend to a nice hotel.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2017): I think that you are overthinking this situation! Everyone has those kinds of dreams sometimes. I am willing to be your wife has had at least a couple of dreams that don't just involve you too!
If you are resolved to be faithful which you say you are, then why focus, obsess and question this? It was a dream, let those images go! Yes, it is your libido talking. And no, it is not wanting to be with others unless you want to in real life which you say you don't. Why would you question that?
Also, why would you tell your wife about the dreams? That will only cause unnecessary hurt!
Make love to your wife more often! That is my advice! Spice things up or go on vacation together!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2017): Hello, maybe it's your safe way to release your repressed sexual desire. Possible you may be exploring you own desires or needs subconsciously. Or maybe it's possible you can be compensating for a lack of having a physical relationship or desire in waking life. It may be though you'd be the judge of my last suggestion it can be a need for emotional love or desire to be loved and wanted. Either way you look at it remember it was just a dream
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