A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am currently in an almost 2 year relationship with my boyfriend and don't get me wrong I am very happy. Although, recently I can't stop thinking about the times before we got together, the sort of 'getting to know each other phase' sounds stupid but I am still wishing in my mind that we were still in that phase because everything was so good, we both made time for each other and both made more of an effort. I'm not, I don't think, unhappy in my relationship but I don't know what to do about me thinking about the past all the time. Should I push for us to be how we used to be or should I just accept that things will be different now? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 April 2017):
 Do you feel you get enough attention from this relationship? Do you both make enough time and effort for each other? Sometimes after a couple off years we let things slip and fall in to a routine. If you are not getting enough then you need to speak to your partner. Organize date nights.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (8 April 2017):
 Interesting that you went, in the space of a post which is only a few lines long, from "I am very happy" to "I'm not, I don't think, unhappy in my relationship".
Of course relationships change and don't stay at that heady "first date" level indefinitely. HOWEVER, that does not mean you should not still both be making an effort. Relationships need work and effort to thrive. Assuming your boyfriend is of a similar age to you, you should be trying and doing new things together and growing together. If your boyfriend is not willing to try new things with you, perhaps your relationship has run its course and it is time to thank him for the last two years and move on.
As most people lead busy lives these days, I think a good idea is to slot a time into your schedule for work on your relationship. Set aside an evening or two, or week-ends, where you concentrate just on your two and your relationship. Date again like you did when you first started going out. Listen to each other and ask questions so you get to find out things you perhaps didn't know before about each other. Try new activities - ice skating, roller blading, zumba classes, whatever turns you on, and have fun together.
Happiness is something you need to work at. It doesn't just happen.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 April 2017):
 I think you are unhappy or you wouldn't be here asking for advice.
Yes, of course you should demand change. What kind of relationship shouldn't fulfill your needs?
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