A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I've know a boy for 1 year and we were close talking everyday we could, he lives 6 hours away from me and is in the army, recently he's moved based and is less than 1 hour away from me. Whilst talking to him I slowly started falling in love, when we met it was perfect, he told me he loved me how ever he's not quite ready for a relationship. Since then he's went back to his army base and hasn't spoke to me. I don't know what to do because I do love him and being with him feels so good. Am I overthinking and he's just busy or should I be worried? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 April 2017):
 You don't need to be worried but you do need to accept that he doesn't want to be with you. I know at your age rejection is so hard and it seems like the world is falling apart but he has made his feelings clear and you need to listen to him and respect his decision.
A
female
reader, Aunt V +, writes (5 April 2017):
He has been upfront with you and told you from the beginning he doesn't want a relationship with you. He will never change his mind about that. He told you he loves you so that if he wants to he can call on you, when he decides. I'm sure he knows how you feel about him, So will take advantage of your feelings. Some men in the army do not have the time for a committed relationship and the demands of the army. He may care for you, but just not in the way you would like him to.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (5 April 2017):
 You need to listen to what he is saying. His reasons for saying it are irrelevant and his own business.
You are not "in love"; you are "in lust". While I never underestimate the power of lust, it is a long way removed from true love which comes from really knowing someone. You only know what this guy wants you to know. Most importantly, he does not want a relationship with you. You need to listen to him. And he has absolutely no business telling you he loves you when he clearly doesn't.
If you are ready for a relationship, you may need to look elsewhere. If you can, I would recommend getting to know someone in person before allowing your feelings to run away with you; it will save you a lot of heartache.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2017): If you're 16-17 I'm assuming he's young too. He's been polite about it and told you he's not ready for a relationship. So that's it, there won't be one. Don't try to involve sex as a way of hoping he will then want a relationship with you as then it's even less likely to happen. I've had friends go into the army at a young age and there are lots (definitely not all though) who just make the most of being a 'man in uniform' (and a woman in uniform!) and have lots of casual relationships and one night stands. I wouldn't have wanted to be the partner of someone in the army at such a young age, it's stressful because they could be deployed anywhere and don't have their own life. They're at the beck and call of the army, so even visiting each other weekends would be very unlikely as chances are as a newer recruit he'd be given extra duties! Also I think it'd be hard to believe they've come home after a night out when the other lads are on the pull...You're still young, stay friends if you wish with this nice guy but he's made it clear he doesn't want a relationship. He may just want a bit of the single squaddie lifestyle but you don't sit around and wait for him! Keep meeting new people and getting to know them, someone you click with will come along x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 April 2017):
 You are not listening to what he is saying. HE IS NOT READY for a relationship. THAT is it.
No matter how great it felt to BE with him in person, HE is not ready NOR is he looking to date anyone - INCLUDING you.
So if YOU want a relationship, HE is not the guy for you at this time. Does it mean if you stick around and wait long enough he will be ready? Maybe... but he may not WANT to date you when he IS ready for a relationship.
If you WANT you can stay friends (keep sex out of it though it will only mess YOU up) PLATONIC friends, if you can't do that YOU are BOTH better off with NO contact.
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