A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been a single parent all of my children's life now they are fully grown I want a relationship but Im hoping that he doesn't want children that part of my life is history.Am I being selfish for this or not. Help
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 April 2017):
 Off course you are not being selfish, if you meet someone then just be honest with them, at your stage in life it probably goes without saying that you have raised your children and don't want to start over.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2017): In the 41-50 age bracket I think it's more than reasonable to be upfront that you're not wanting more children and most men of your age are probably in similar situations themselves. I wouldn't worry about it too much and just enjoy getting to know people.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2017): Having a child is a huge commitment, you can't just have one because your partner does. It needs to be a joint decision. If he truly loves you, he will accept that you don't want more kids. Who knows, maybe you will in the future
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 April 2017):
 I think at your age you are definitely within your "rights" to say I'm done having and raising any more children. Whether you have had children or not even regardless of age if you DO NOT want kids, that is your choice and a perfectly OK choice.
I say JUST be upfront about it.
You might however, find it hard to find a guy in his 40's that doesn't ALSO have children, so you might find yourself dating someone with kids which can mean more kids in your life.
Also if you meet a guy who DOES want kids with you, HE is not the one for you. So if you encounter a great guy who wants kids still don't drag it out hoping he will change his mind.
Knowing what you want/don't want is a GOOD thing.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (4 April 2017):
 I think not. You have fulfilled your biological function. Bringing up a child is hard work, and bringing up one alone harder. You don't need to do it again.
Be perfectly honest about this with your partner and their can be no fault or blame. You have made it clear from the start.
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A
female
reader, mad stacey +, writes (4 April 2017):
Just be clear from the start that more children is not a option for you ....it may sound a serious conversation to have but at least everyone knows where they stand ...goid luck
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