A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend went away for the weekend to visit some friends. She told me that she had some drinks and ended up playing strip poker with 2 other guys and a girl. She told me nothing happened. just played until everyone was fully naked. What should I be thinking here???? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (7 October 2013):
 It definitely wasn't a great choice on her part given that she's in a committed relationship, but the fact she seems to have been quite forthcoming about it is a good sign that she's probably telling the truth. Had she not mentioned it, I'm guessing you wouldn't know about it?If your goal is to maintain a healthy relationship with this girl, tread carefully on this one. On the one hand, yes, what she did shows boundaries that appear different from yours and that definitely wouldn't be acceptable to many people in committed relationships. On the other hand, however, if you're too harsh on her about this after she was *voluntarily* honest and forthcoming with you, what you reinforce to her is that in future it's better just to hide any transgressions from you to avoid facing fallout that may not match the original offense. If you see this relationship as a long-term prospect, I am positive that is not what you want.I'd sit down with her and have a calm adult conversation that starts something like this: "Sweetie, I very much appreciate you being honest about this but I have to say it makes me uncomfortable to think of my girlfriend naked in front of other men." Or something along those lines; you get the idea. Saying that *you* are uncomfortable takes some of the accusation out of the discussion, because you're not telling her "you did this, you did that" but simply speaking about your own feelings. Ask her what her boundaries are for interaction with the opposite sex when dating and share your own so that everything is now out in the open and there can be no future confusion or excuse-making. Personally I'd only be concerned if, after KNOWING what you find acceptable, she continues to go out and do things to the contrary. Good luck and best wishes :)
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (7 October 2013):
 If nothing had to happen then why did they all get naked? And why did she choose to partake in a game that involved nudity when she knew she had a boyfriend back home? This behavior is NOT acceptable in a committed relationship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 October 2013):
 Yeah, that would not be OK with me. My partner doesn't go sit play strip poker without me. Pretty simple.
BUT I do believe that nothing else happened. I have played it in my younger days, but only when I was single and spectacularly drunk. Not one of my prouder moments.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2013): I think you have to define what the girlfriend boyfriend relationship is between the two of you. Are you committed to seeing only each other and does that commitment also mean that you are the only bedroom partners to each other and only you two see each other in the buff. Your concern is justified to a point. However you want to look at it, she was prepared to undress in front of a group of men. It all started over a couple of drinks. Bu I have heard this story line before. Who is to say that the next time it does not go farther. You have to look at your relationship and decide if that is okay. Does she understand how you feel and with all the horror stories out there something bad could of happened to her and being in a relationship with you then you would of been impacted also. Check it out and lay down some guidelines and move on from there.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (7 October 2013):
 i know personally, i would not play strip poker with anyone other than my significant other (well, truth be told, i wouldn't play strip poker, period. but that's not the point). i wouldn't want my partner to get the wrong impression and it's just simple respect - don't get naked with other people. when you're in a relationship, you pardon yourself from those types of activities. at least that's my perspective. secondly, strip poker? really? how old is your girlfriend, if you don't mind my asking.
i wouldn't say she cheated or anything. but she clearly has a different idea of what boundries you two have in the relationship. i think you should forgive her, but let her know you aren't comfortable with that!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (7 October 2013):
 I think the only way strip poker should be played by a girl or a guy with a significant other (wife, fiance, girlfriend), is if BOTH people are there.
For her to go off out of down and disrobe in front of three other people, two of them guys, it's disloyal and uncool, especially if she kept it from you. That's just it - she didn't tell you about it until after it happened. The whole "nothing happened" may be true concerning sexual contact, but it's not nothing to strip in front of another man, let alone two of them.
Also, strip poker is about playing until the loser has removed all of their clothes, not everyone stripping naked on purpose. I played it when I was young and single and in high school, and I was lucky. I lost my shoes, socks, sweater (I was wearing a shirt underneath), and belt. But there was alcohol involved, so there were lots of questionable things happening.
As far as your situation is concerned, she owed you the courtesy of checking to see how you felt about it BEFORE she started playing. She also owed it to you to conduct herself as someone who is NOT single, but partnered. Stripping naked in front of other men and hiding it is not okay. Something like that needs a partner's "okay" first.
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