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How do I get the drunk to leave?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 October 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 October 2013)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I Am DONE but he won't leave! He is rude and had a drinking problem! Mean to family and friends!! When sober totally different, I cannot take it anymore. How do I get him to leave?

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (8 October 2013):

YouWish agony auntI know you're mad, but you left a bunch of crucial details out of your post:

1. "The drunk" - is he your husband, boyfriend, or fiance?

2. Do you own, jointly own, or rent?

It's important to say whether or not you're married to him. If you are, then if you have tried to talk to him and suggest rehab or counselling and he refuses, the next step is to call a lawyer.

Divorcing a guy from a co-owned home is a long, drawn-out process if you want him to leave when he refuses. The court has to decide who gets the house (it's possible he'll rule that BOTH of you must leave, sell the house, and split the equity). If you have kids, and you get the house, then you have to file an eviction to have the law remove him. Otherwise, if he gets violent or abusive towards you, that's grounds for his removal and a restraining order.

If he is not your husband, and we're not talking about joint ownership in a house, then you have different outcomes.

1. Rent - joint lease: You can move out yourself at the end of your lease. Or, you can break the lease and leave.

2. Rent - his name only on the lease: You'll have to do the moving out.

3. Own - he owns the house solely: You'll have to move.

4. Own - you own the house solely: Find out how much notice you must give him (5, 7, 15, or 30 days) and serve him the notice to move out. Honeypie's link is very helpful here.

Keep your wits about you. he may refuse to move, and depending on how things are, it may be a long, drawn out process, but keep your cool. Losing it and freaking out emotionally will go badly for you as much as his losing it and freaking out on you can only help your cause.

Either way, the two of you are over no matter if he stays there or not.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2013):

"How do I get him to leave?"

You don't "get" him to leave, you forcibly evict him if he's living in your house or you leave if you're living in his house.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (8 October 2013):

Honeypie agony auntDoes he live with you? If you rent, who is on the lease?

LEGALLY, you have to get him evicted IF your name is on the lease or it's your house.

http://www.clarkcountycourts.us/CivilSHC/landlord-tenant-evictions/

You can look up your own state. And go from there.

If he becomes abusive I'd call the police. And then change the locks. Pack his crap and leave it on the front porch.

BUT it all comes down to who OWN or who is on the lease if you rent.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (8 October 2013):

Starlights agony auntMaybe someone else in your family with the same authority can ask him to leave on your behalf, or if you really want him out of your house as soon as possible call in the authorities.

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