A
female
age
26-29,
*ritt3365
writes:I don't know if I'm a virgin or not.. Help? I was with him and he kept fingering me and tryed to make it easier for him to get it in.. Well, when he tryed to put it in It definitely hurt. He told me he only got the tip.in and that's all.. But I wasn't on my period and I was bleeding after.. Does that mean I'm a virgin still or not ?
View related questions:
fingering, period, still a virgin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, thaeman +, writes (13 July 2017):
There is a difference between the vagina and the vulva. The vulva is the area outside of the hymeneal opening. In illustrations it looks flat and you would be either in the hole or not in at all. But there's really some depth to it, and it's showing the vulva pulled open (to show where everything is). But it starts out closed. So if you're putting "just the tip in", all it's doing is spreading the labia and sitting in what's called the vestibule. It may not have even reached the hymen. Yet the whole area is very tender and can bleed (which then makes people think it's the hymen), and also hurt really bad, especially if irritated or the muscles are tense. This is where a lot of people with this problem are getting hung up. So yes, in the traditional sense, it's still technically virginity, though it also is still sexual "intimacy".
A
male
reader, thesj +, writes (11 July 2014):
"Virgin" is a term with no real medical bearing. If you're concerned whether you are physically a virgin, there is really no such thing. It is very possible for a woman to have sex for the first time without any damage to the hymen, and sometimes when a hymen is broken, it can heal and break all over again.If you're looking for a more mental/emotional/moral definition, that depends on each persons beliefs. Most people are going to tell you that you are no longer a virgin. Some people will disagree and tell you it didn't count. Still others, including myself, will say that it doesn't matter, that there's really no such thing as virginity; you've done what you've done and it's as simple as that.
...............................
A
male
reader, methuselah  +, writes (11 July 2014):
Hi,
From what you say, you lost your virginity. The bleeding seems like the hymen breaking.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 July 2014):
 I'd say no.. you're not a virgin. Being a virgin means you never had sex.. and you had sex. However, if by being a virgin you mean someone who's had sex with a man who penetrated with this or that many cm.. then maybe you're a virgin. But the definition per se is that a virgin is someone who's never had sex, intercourse or otherwise. He put it in, however slightly.
But, I need to make you aware, that definitions don't matter in the big scheme of things. You don't have to count this as your first time if you feel like it wasn't really a "proper" intercourse. You bled, so your hymen probably broke, but you might also have been bleeding from his fingering you, or from the friction that was caused.
And, the next time you have sex and try intercourse, it will probably be painful and hurt as well. Because you're tense, and you aren't relaxed, and you most probably are NOT turned on enough. It'll hurt then, however it doesn't have to feel painful.. it could be that it'll hurt just a little bit and then you'll be fine.
Anyway, count it as your first time if you want to. I would count it. But don't go thinking the second time will be any less of a "new" experience. It takes a few tries to get the hang of it.
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (10 July 2014):
 If your hymen s still intact then you are still "officially" a virgin. But that's really not the issue is it? You're looking for comfort and someone to make you feel better about doing omething you know you shoud not have been doing. Well, not going to get it here my friend, Save the foolin' around until you reach a more mature age and know what love and sex is all about. grow up first then mess around all you want.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (9 July 2014):
I don't think it really matters unless you wanted to wait until marriage. If you did want to wait you probably would have had a hard time anyways. Just because you're not a virgin doesn't mean you can't still wait. A technical definition is not what's important.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2014): First, you're underage and shouldn't be having sex: I hope you used protection. It sounds like you did it so no, you're not a virgin. Sex doesn't have to hurt at all the first time, I had no pain. You should be aroused and into it then it won't hurt.
My advice is don't have sex until you're in your 20's and you're mature enough to handle birth control and all of the emotional ramifications. You can hold hands, kiss etc instead. If you continue to have sex, make sure you use birth control and protection to help prevent stds. I also recommend having the hpv vaccine to prevent cervical cancer.
...............................
A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (9 July 2014):
You are not a virgin, and you bled because he broke the hymn which is why it hurt. Sex hurts alot the first few times, its not like in the movies lol
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 July 2014):
 Agreed. The legal definition states that penetration, however slight, is sufficient to complete the act.
There doesn't need to be orgasm, nor does a guy have to go in all the way. Your hymen was damaged which caused the bleeding, and his tip went in. You are no longer a virgin.
Lubrication such as K-Y jelly is what's best for helping a guy be able to have access. The guy must have no experience if he thought fingering was the answer. That must not have been pleasant for you!
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 July 2014):
 NOT.... you lost your virginity
...............................
|
