A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was at a party at a pub and two people with me was my girlfriend and her best friend. No one was drunk, only light drinking if that. I had them in either side and at times arms around both.Everytime her friend sat down she was sit very close, which is okay, but once my hand was there and she sat on it, and didn't react which I found weird and my hand is now being squashed by a 50kg girl (however much they weigh). Anyway there's some movement, take a pic or something and she comes back with my arm around her on the sofa. And I don't know what I was thinking I poked it up and started massaging her, and she pretended like nothing and just smiled. This went on a few times till I got up and she got picked up by her bf.I don't know why I'm asking this but it's bugging me.Does it sound like she didn't mind? She didn't react negatively at all, and she hasn't mentioned anything to my gf.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (7 July 2014):
 Really, so eric.troy would throw a party because some other guy is "testing" his wife to see how far he could get with her? I don't think it takes being a woman to figure out the failed logic behind such a line of thinking. He may not react to his wife sitting on another man's hand, but would he if this other guy had his arm around her in a party giving her massages? Nobody, male or female, even comes close to buying that one.
To the OP, you should be *terrified* that this friend who usually can't shut up hasn't said anything yet. You think that's a GOOD sign? No, it's not. You *are* in hot water, but part of me hopes you continue to be in denial over that so that your girlfriend sees you for what you are.
Your intentions are worthless. Your actions are what matters. You don't take a girl you say annoys you, keep your hand on her ass after she sits on it, and then start handsing on her like you're a 13 year old virgin who can't help himself. It wouldn't matter whose house you're in...if a woman walks in on you, you tell her to get out. No, you are acting like a dirty lech.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2014): Please break up with your girlfriend because NOT ONCE did you mention an ounce of regret or concern about what you've just done to your girlfriend. You've just cheated.
Any way - to your question: all it really says is that she didn't want to make a fuss. She may have enjoyed it (because it was attention, not because it was you). She may have enjoyed it because it was you. She may not have enjoyed it but not known what to do. She may not have enjoyed it but didn't want to tell your girlfriend in case your girlfriend blamed her as well and ended the friendship. She may not have enjoyed it but didn't want to tell anyone in case her boyfriend blamed her and ended their relationship. Whatever the reason, she didn't want to cause a scene and the reason doesn't matter because you shouldn't have done it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2014): Thank you for all responses.
Yes I was in the wrong and no I'm not in hot water or about to have things happen to me. First thing I've done of that nature and completely wrong. The way her friend is, she loves flirting and attention from other guys, she is type of girl who CANNOT keep her mouth shut so I was ready for her to blurt it but she didn't.
I'm not worried about her, I do not find her attractive. It was more of a test to see how she would react and it happened on the spot.
I find her incredibly annoying, for example me and girlfriend are in bed, her friend comes early morning and sits on our in order to get me out so they can go out etc shop. I'm trying to shower or get changed and she feels it's okay to be in same room.
If it was my house or my rules I would slam that door in her face.
That party was a on the spot test.
Yes it does not justify it, however only i know what my intentions where that evening
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 July 2014):
 What does it matter if she liked it or not? You shouldn't have done it, that crosses the line to cheating. And with your girlfriends friend of all people. Show some class.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2014): She might not have known WHAT do to or how to react when a guy, (who she thought had a g/f and who knows has a b/f)starts groping her.
Many girls really hate to make a scene, even when they're being groped and if your g/f was anywhere in the vicinity, this girl might have thought that "making a fuss" might have ended your relationship with your g/f - and that it would be seen as her fault.
If she's also friends with your g/f, she might have thought that saying something might piss your g/f off and that would be end of THEIR friendship - and that it would be seen as her fault.
But who knows what she was thinking? Maybe she DID like it. All I know is that it hasn't been particularly pleasant when it's happened to me. And I didn't know how to react at the time either - not when the guy was just supposed to be a friend.
Don't do something like that again. It really isn't nice
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (7 July 2014):
The question isn't whether or not your girlfriend's friend minded that you got a bit handsy with her, and before we go on, there's no way of knowing. The fact that she DIDN'T tell your girlfriend may not be good in your favor, because you very well have created a very uncomfortable and awkward moment that she may lose her friend (your girlfriend) over if she does tell her.
However, the REAL question, and the one that should keep you up at night, is...how would YOU feel if your girlfriend were to sit down with another man who put his arm around her and started massaging your girlfriend? Would you like it? How would that make you feel, knowing she went to this party with you, yet ended up smiling into another man's eyes as they got cuddly on the couch?
You were really disloyal to your girlfriend. That was extreme disrespect to go pawing all over your girlfriend's friend, especially at the same party she was at. I'm guessing you made it subtle because you know you were doing the wrong thing. Your hands should be reserved only for your girlfriend. All else is cheating and disloyal and breaks trust.
I'm guessing that your girlfriend's friend, if she found it awkward, is now asking her other friends what to do about her best friend's guy putting his hands on her, whether she should tell her friend or not. Your girlfriend, upon hearing her friend's reaction to your putting your arm around her and massaging her, is going to get very angry with you. However, the real fear should be if she, feeling awkward and upset, will go to her own boyfriend telling him about the awkward moment. How happy will HE be knowing that you were handsing his girlfriend, including a quick grope as she sat on your hand (you left your hand there without a quick pull out and "sorry"? That's a grope of an ass of someone who is not your girlfriend.)
You need to get your head on straight, because there are a lot of things that could be about to happen to you. Seriously, in public, at a party, with none other than your girlfriend's FRIEND?! This isn't even a stranger we're talking about!
You are in some very serious hot water, and it is only a matter of time. The best course of action is to tell your girlfriend before she hears the upset, awkward version of it from her friend, OR the angry version from her boyfriend.
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