A
female
age
26-29,
*ouise9696
writes:Hi, I have a problem and I think it's really superficial but it's driving me mad. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and he's everything I could ask for except he's never made me reach orgasm. Also, he has an incredibly low sex drive as it is in comparison to my stupidly high one and its beginning to really frustrate me. I can bring myself to orgasm within minutes but with him I can't in any way whereas he can orgasm easily. its not that he's bad in bed, I just can't orgasm. ugh its driving me crazy and it's making me resent him. Any suggestions on what I can do to make things work for me or how to amend this problem?
View related questions:
orgasm, sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, louise9696 +, writes (20 December 2014):
louise9696 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo you think this could be a sign that my partner and I are actually incompatible? he doesn't watch porn as far as I know and he says he hardly ever feels the need to masturbate. It's getting to the point where I just want to leave the relationship which is absolutely devastating for me. I don't know what to do. I've been faking orgasms since day one which I know is a massive mistake.
A
female
reader, Sensible Alice  +, writes (19 December 2014):
 Orgasm during intercourse, like anything, has to be learned. Cleo and Cosmo often have articles on how to or you can research online. Foreplay for a woman is usually a must, but unfortunately for young men, too much giving of this makes them ejaculate too quickly, which can be disappointing for the woman when she's ready to go and he's finished. Most women will need clitoral stimulation during intercourse and the woman on top is a good position so that they can control the moves. Also don't masturbate for a few days before intercourse, otherwise you might not get aroused or be unable to reach orgasm.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2014): try having a good night out and then sex where you would find risky this should help you getting horney also use plenty of lube and get him to play with your lips and give you oral but yo must relax and enjoy good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (18 December 2014):
 Your problem is absolutely NOT superficial at all! It's extremely important and valid!
I'm glad you said that you can bring yourself to orgasm in minutes, because that's half the battle. Many women can't or have never tried who come on here with a similar issue you do. You know what an orgasm feels like, and you can do it.
When you are together, do you guide him in what makes you feel good? Did you know that less than a quarter of women can reach orgasm through intercourse?? For the vast majority of women, suggesting that a woman must achieve orgasm through vaginal intercourse only is like telling a guy that the only way he is allowed to reach orgasm is through rubbing his scrotum only. How many men would accept that "scrotum orgasm" is mature and "penis orgasm" is immature?? Try NONE. So why do women accept that nonsense when the clitoris is the organ that is the counterpart to the penis??
But before we get into all of that, what is there about the low sex drive?? Your high sex drive is NOT "stupidly" high! High sex drives are a source of joy and happiness!! Most guys have a healthy one indeed! You and he may be sexually incompatible, and no matter what I suggest, it won't help. But is his sex drive low naturally, or is he partaking too much into porn and siphoning it off to the point where he's got ED and sensation issues??
Have you shown him what feels good to you?? Have you guided him in technique and speed?? Has he ever worked on making you feel good without going straight to intercourse?? Are you going down on him all the time??? Have you been faking it, and if so, how many times have you?? Because if you've been faking it (which shortchanges you, him, and the relationship), you should come clean and explain what you've done and why.
After 2 years, sex can become stale. Have you ever brought yourself to orgasm in front of you so that he can watch and learn?? Reading sex books and watching sex educational DVD's (NOT PORN!!!! NO PORN EVER for education because it's fake!) are a way to go from beginner to high sexual adventure.
If he is unwilling and uneager to be sexually adventurous, then you should call it a day, because you will go celibate eventually as low sex drives tend to become lower. Keep that high sex drive! There are far more guys who will appreciate it big time, and your well-being depends on sexual health!
...............................
|
