I'm curious on how pre-martial sex is perceived!
Q. what do people think about pre-marital sex? i grew up in a religious family, but waiting until marriage made a lot more sense when i was 19. now i'm 27, and i'm curious. does anyone really wait this long? is it bad if you sleep with someone in a ...
A. 22 November 2006: Only the most religious people seem to wait until married until having sex. And a few non-religious people (like yourself), but really not very many these days. This attitude is more common in America than in Europe (where I live), America being a ... (read in full...)
I trust her but I don't trust her ex bf! He sends her texts so what can I do about him?
Q. My Girlfriend 11 month's ago told me her ex boyfriend txted her saying " y don't u come to my house " she txted back " y would i? " he txt her saying " so i can f**k you " (she let me read the txt's) now i got mad at this and he was lucky i didn't ...
A. 21 November 2006: I wasn't just a joke.
I think you are within your rights to ask your girlfriend to have no contact with him. This includes not replying to any texts he sends her. If she bumps in to him by accident when out then there's nothing anyone can do about... (read in full...)
Guys...do you look down on women who agree to have 3-somes with you? Honest answers, please!
Q. I am female 24 and had a 3 some with my boyfriend 27 with another female. We had a lot to drink and both enjoyed it and thinking about doing it again. Do you guys look down on a girl that does this or would you ever consider marrying a partner who ...
A. 21 November 2006: It really depends on the guy. For me I would have a lot of trouble with it, but then I wouldn't have agreed to a threesome in the first place. Unfortunately you probably won't know until its too late whether he now respects you or not. Not many ... (read in full...)
What the hell does he mean?? Sex buddies?
Q. Been talking to my ex over the internet, and I really want to get back with him. we broke up a while ago, but were sex buddies until he got himself a new girlfriend, but they broke up a few days ago. He says we should meet up, and that he'll call me ...
A. 19 November 2006: I agree with rhythmandblues. Sounds like he's angling for some no-strings sex. And it sounds like you're willing to offer that to him... which I don't think you should, but thats between you and him.... (read in full...)
Dating rules - are they right?
Q. OK this one is for the guys. I was reading an article about dating rules and it states that asking a guy out is a definite no no. I personally think that any rules are nonesense however as I'm too chicken to ask someone out so I'm unable/unwilling ...
A. 19 November 2006: Maybe see them as guidlines not rules.
What I will tell you is that... they work! Men like a challenge (which is why we are out climbing mountains and building bridges and so on), and this is true of how we think of women too. If you make it too e... (read in full...)
Am i easy?
Q. am i a slag for giving a guy a blowjob and swallowing even if i only met this guy 4 times? and is cum good 4 u? thanks xx...
A. 19 November 2006: Everyone has a different definition of what a 'slag' is. Some people don't think you should ever use the word.
Personally I don't think it has anything to do with what you do with someone... it has everything to do with your connection to that per... (read in full...)
Guys: do you like girls who are hard to get or girls who chase you?
Q. Do guys like the girl to chase you or play hard to get? Do ya'll like girls who you can run all over or a strong women who thinks for herself? And in a long term relationship not talking months but years together when ya'll breakup even the person w...
A. 17 November 2006: Personally I like hard to get. But that's just me, each to their own.
And i VERY much like a strong woman who can think for herself. I see a good relationship as a partnership of equals. ... (read in full...)
My long distance lover type guy won't let me come to his city!
Q. my not really a boyfriend more of a lover type guy is very sweet and attentive. it's a long distance relationship. he comes to see me on average every 5 weeks from late friday night to early sunday morning. we always have a great time (i know i do, ...
A. 14 November 2006: Verdict: he's married and not telling the truth. Or has a steady girfriend. I hope I'm wrong.
I suggest you tell him that you just happen to have plans to be in his town anyway (think up a good excuse) and then get him to give you his address ... (read in full...)
They slept together w/ my drunken permission - I kicked him out and now I feel so alone! What should I do?
Q. my boyfriend slept with me best friend and i was drunk and so i said yes it was fin but i left that night and she stayed there with him and two other friends and the next morning she left and he confessed to me that they hade sex and other ...
A. 14 November 2006: That sounds horrible. Why did you say 'fine' when it's clearly not fine? You can't expect people to treat you better if you don't stand up for yourself. Monogomy is important in a relationship, insist on it and don't let anyone else convince you ... (read in full...)
His porn viewing won't stop and I cant continue being neglected sexually because of his own selfish habit. How do I tell him this?
Q. my bf of 3 years wants to get adsl internet for his studies, the problem is that the account is going to be under my name, and i am concerned about the material he will be downloading once he get the adsl internet, in the past we have had adsl ...
A. 13 November 2006: Look for an internet service provider that provides porn-blocking as a service. Then get adsl from them and have that service switched on... under your account name and password (that your boyfriend doesn't know). That should mean he can use the ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin so I'm pretty pissed that she didn't tell me that she hit both 2nd and 3rd base, in her past. Do I have a right to be mad?
Q. I'm a virgin and haven't even make out yet. I have a girlfriend who skipped first base and went straight for 2nd and 3rd when she was drunk. We were talking about the past and she told me about the time when she hit 3rd and she sort of described to ...
A. 13 November 2006: You are probably upset because you are a virgin and you hoped she would be too. Now you are in a situation where your girlfriend has more sexual experience than you... not only is this a bit intimidating (and you have to measure up against the ... (read in full...)
My friends are turning on me and I don't know why! Please help!
Q. my so called friends have been bitching about me and i dont know why, one girl has sent me a text saying you ugly bitch and other horrible things and recently one other girl printed off an msn conversation and they say im a liar. what do i do plase ...
A. 13 November 2006: Do you really not know why? Think back about what has happened recently... anything different or unusual? Any social situations where nasty things happened? Any new guys around that the girls may be getting jealous over?
You could also try aski... (read in full...)
My friend told me she gave 5 guys oral sex and I am disgusted! Am I a prude or do all girls consider casual oral sex..no big deal?
Q. Dear cupid, I need some help! My gf and I were talking about our past sex lives and i was kinda shocked that, apart from the two guys i knew about that she had had full sex with, she had performed casual oral sex on five other guys that I knew ...
A. 13 November 2006: You might want to read this thread which has a lot of answers to a similar question:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-cant-i-get-my-gfs-past-sex-life-out-of-my-head.html
... (read in full...)
Is losing one's virginity as bad as everyone makes it out to be?
Q. hi im a virgin and i was wondering to all those girls who have lost their virginity, is it as bad and scary as people make out? x...
A. 13 November 2006: It's always scary. But it's not bad if you do it with the right guy at the right time. Meaning when you are old enough to handle the complex emotions it unlocks, and handle the relationship with your boyfriend. The best advice I can give is wait ... (read in full...)
Do men like woman who are forward or..do men like to do all the calling and chasing?
Q. Hello, I am 25, blonde, slim and I would say quite attractive. I would like to know the following: Do men like it if a woman is forward? Or should it always be about mind games and men doing all the chasing and calling. To be honest I get...
A. 13 November 2006: I can't speak for all men, but personally I like to do the chasing and calling. I'm not sure what you mean 'seeing someone but not going out' however. If you are already having sex then you should both be able to call each other without there being ... (read in full...)
About lube..do you put it under the condom (on the penis) or on the outside?
Q. Hi..i have a question about lubrication. Is it safe to put lube on my bf's penis and then put the condom on..or should i just use it on the outside? Thanks so much! ...
A. 13 November 2006: You put it on your nipples actually, the instructions that came with it should show you how.
Ok, I'm not serious. It goes on the OUTSIDE of the condom only. ... (read in full...)
Why does he constantly accuse me of cheating? Is he insanely insecure?
Q. My bf often accuses me of cheating, no matter how many times I tell him im not. And for the record, Im not! He accuses me atleast once a week, though he's been at it alot the past couple days. People keep tellin me that he sounds like he's the one ...
A. 13 November 2006: You have identified the cause already: jealousy. This can be caused by many things, and is quite normal. There are several steps to take:
- First your boyfriend needs to be willing to admit that he is jealous. Being jealous can be very unpleasa... (read in full...)
My husband likes 'transexual' porn..should I just take the kids and go?
Q. My question is...My husbands porn of choice is transexual porn - porn in general does not bother me...this is a bit disturbing, especially since I have made my views very clear including an ultimadum tranny pron or us. We have kids and I love him ...
A. 13 November 2006: No I don't personally think you are over-reacting. You are willing to put up with 'regular' porn, which is a concession greater than many women are willing to make. He should be willing to temper his habit if it bothers you as much as it does.
... (read in full...)
I have my 'odd' quirks..is there something wrong with me?
Q. Does anybody here ever feel like they are 'odd?;' Sometimes, if my friend is calling me i will ignore the phone i like to be on my own a lot i hate making converstaion i feel that eveyone dislikes me I get very jealous if someone is prettier/...
A. 11 November 2006: Most of what you describe is really normal.
The only thing that stands out is the lying. Do you think you know why you do this? Do you think it is because you want people to like you so you tell them what to hear? Or perhaps you think they'll ... (read in full...)
She sent me 24 text messages in 7 hours! Do ya think she likes me?
Q. this girl added me on msn. a few weeks ago. she recently just started chattin 3 days ago generally and than slowly she increased our conversations. i than asked for her number. and today i recieved 24 texts in 7 hours while i was at school and i'm ...
A. 11 November 2006: Either she likes you or there is something wrong with her phone and it won't stop sending texts ;)
... (read in full...)
My teen boy are looking at internet porn...how do I block these sites? Any tips?
Q. i am a concerned single mom. i have teenage boys and i found out that they were looking at porn sites. i had a talk with my boys but im still concerned there looking at these sites. how do i block sites. what programs do i use? and can i get it free ...
A. 11 November 2006: Can you move the PC to the main living room of the house? They'll be much less keen to look if they think you can walk in and see them at any moment.
I also have to say that stopping teenage boys looking at internet porn is a bit like standing... (read in full...)
What do I give my rich boyfriend for his birthday?
Q. heyy my boyfriends birthday is in a few days and i have know idea what to get him we've been oen out 6 months but he has a lot of money and i know his gifts going to be really good for my birthday whats some sweet ideas for his birthday that arnt ...
A. 11 November 2006: Make him something. Like something nice to eat, or a card, or write something for him, or give him some good photos of the two of you. Money can't buy love and taking the time and effort to make something unique for him is much more special than ... (read in full...)
I am an 18 year old female..slept with 15 guys since I was 14...Is that a lot of people for my age?
Q. im 18 years old. iv slept with 15 guys. 6 were 1 nite stands i lost my virginity aged 14 4 were relationships I only used protection with 5 of these.The rest pulled out. Do u think that it is a lot of people for my age!!????I dont dare have a...
A. 11 November 2006: That depends what you mean by a lot. Compared to the 'average' yes it is high. Whilst the media (TV, movies, magazines etc) likes to show that 'everyone is doing it', the reality is that this isn't the case. You are probably somewhere in the top 5 ... (read in full...)
I think women need to stand up to the men who insist on using porn..what do you all think?
Q. How bloody stupid can some men be????? Despite the fact women are telling them over and over again porn is degrading and unacceptable (as they obviously dont have the intelligence to work that out by themselves) they still persist in trying t...
A. 11 November 2006: I am a man and I agree with you. Wholeheartedly.
I think the majority of men turn a blind eye to the problems porn causes because they get such a hit off it. Porn for many men is REALLY enjoyable, that's the main reason they don't want to stop. It... (read in full...)
I cant come inside my girlfriend...why?
Q. iam 30, and masturbate almost daily for past 16yrs. problem is dat i find it very difficult to cum in my girl. been dating her for 4yrs. she disvirgined me. she has to suck my nipple while i make luv to her b4 i may cum. why? i need your help. t...
A. 9 November 2006: One more thing: this can also be caused by medication, typically anti depressants although also high blood pressure medication can cause it... (read in full...)
I cant come inside my girlfriend...why?
Q. iam 30, and masturbate almost daily for past 16yrs. problem is dat i find it very difficult to cum in my girl. been dating her for 4yrs. she disvirgined me. she has to suck my nipple while i make luv to her b4 i may cum. why? i need your help. t...
A. 9 November 2006: I had the same thing. Still do, although less and less.
You should google 'retarded ejaculation' and 'delayed ejaculation'. Lots of good articles are out there.
What it comes down to I think is understanding that physical stimulation is n... (read in full...)
I got caught shaving "down there" by my grandad and I'm 14.
Q. Well erm where to start...i am suppozed to be meeting this lad today but i needed to shave. me and ma mum are moving house so my grandad keeps coming to help us pack and things. anyway my mum and grandad were upstairs packin so i thought id chance ...
A. 9 November 2006: Yes that sounds embarassing! But its no big deal really. You might want to tell your mom anyway... your grandad probably will and she'd rather hear it from you.... (read in full...)
he said I'm a geek and need to be more chavy. How much should I change about myself?
Q. right im not sure weather this is a relationship question or a fashion question lol. anyway i was talking to this lad and we were arranging to meet..he said "this wolud b easier if you were ma g/f but no offence bt ur such a geek...chav it up a bit ...
A. 9 November 2006: Oh no! Geek girls are 100 times more sexy than Chavs. Really. Don't do something silly like that because some guy (probably clueless) tells you what to do.
Geek = individualistic, smart, interesting, good conversation, bright future
Chav = um... (read in full...)
I don't want to snoop, but I've found stuff...what should I do about all this?
Q. I'm embarassed to admit this, but I think my fiance busted me snooping on his computer this morning, and I'm feeling very regretful and nervous. If he did catch me, he pretended like he didn't (and I pretended nothing happened), we had a nice ...
A. 9 November 2006: I think you two need to talk about this. Tell him some of the things you said here:
- First tell him the fact that your sex life has dropped off dramatically is making you worried that something isn't right.
- Then tell him in every serious pr... (read in full...)
I've been deleting her messages without telling him. Is this right or wrong?
Q. I've been living with this great guy now for about a year. We met 2 years after he went through a horrible break up with a woman who completely devastated him, both financially and emotionally. The thing is, she's been calling our house lately and ...
A. 9 November 2006: I think your behaviour is understandable under the circumstances. I'd recommend doing a few things:
- You contacting her somehow (email?) and telling her to stop calling.
- Then I suggest you tell him what has happened. Tell him that she cal... (read in full...)
She said she has skeletons in her closet but won't tell me what they are!
Q. Pls Help !! Hi , I have an issue with the relationship i'm having. My girlfriend is 29 now, i'm 23 and we're thinking of getting married in a few years. I love her dearly and believe it or not, we were both phyisically virgins before we met about 1 ...
A. 8 November 2006: I think Dr Pete has given you very good advice.
I would only add that you should be very careful about asking for too much detail. For each thing she tells you you will probably have more questions, and yet more questions... sometimes it really i... (read in full...)
Does boob size really matter in attractiveness to guys?
Q. This sounds really silly, but...I'm 18 and I think my boobs are too small. All my friends a D's and big C's and I'm barely a C, probly closer to a B 1/2. I'm not a very big girl about 117lbs 5'6". So maybe it's normal for my size. Still my fr...
A. 6 November 2006: For some yes. But for many, no not at all. Personally I like them in ALL shapes and sizes, as long as they are not too big (and by too big I mean huge).
A 'B' is a very good size in my book :)
I suspect the easiest way to make them bigger is t... (read in full...)
I can't controll my jealousy!
Q. I don't know how long this has been going on for but I know it's been a while. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. For the past couple of months I feel like I've been crazy. I can't control my jealousy. I fear that he looks at other ...
A. 6 November 2006: It sounds like your jealousy is coming from insecurity, so the route to making the jealousy go away is to focus on that. You are worried that other women are prettier and better than you. The way past that is to realize that you are a good person, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is 30 and a virgin!
Q. Ive just started seeing a guy, hes in his early 30s and has never had sex before. I guess I want to know, when we have sex for the first time, should I take charge? Or would that make him feel foolish (Im 22)? Should I be the one to initiate it or ...
A. 6 November 2006: Be very gentle and considerate. Take charge but tell him what you are doing and make sure he is comfortable with it. ... (read in full...)
Turns out he got a bootcall while he was lying next to me!
Q. I have Something bothering me lately.It happened a year ago and i dont no why its just startin to bother me again! I was lyin in bed wiyh my bf, when a girl rang him up,beside me! She asked him y he didnt come round hers, that he said he would, and ...
A. 6 November 2006: It could be bothering you again because you are picking up signals that hint that your boyfriend might be being unfaithful to you. This is presuming you have agreed to a monogomous relationship?
Sometimes we get the feeling before we realize ... (read in full...)
How long should a guy last, when having sex?
Q. How long should guys last for when having sex? ...
A. 6 November 2006: There is no right answer to this. Sex itself can be a 'quickie' over in a couple of minutes, or it can be a whole day spend lazily exploring each other.
However, once intercourse starts (which is only a small part of sex), there can be problems... (read in full...)
How do I get a bigger penis...without surgery? Any tips?
Q. helo, please help me!!! i am 22 years old... i am from india... my problem is i have a small penis it ranges from 2"(flaccid) to 3-4"(erect)... please tell me how to have a bigger one without any surgery......
A. 6 November 2006: You can't get a bigger penis with or without surgery. What you have is what you are stuck with, so you need to make the best of it.
The important thing to remember is that most women really don't mind about penis size. Being loved and treated ... (read in full...)
She is 38, I'm 27 and her biological clock is ticking but I just don't know if I want this anymore!
Q. My dilemma, I'm 27, my girlfriend is 38. We have lived together for 2 years in a rented flat and have been together for 3. Her biolgical clock is obviously ticking and i need to make a decision sharpish if we should get married or i leave. We get ...
A. 6 November 2006: Yes you need to decide, and fast.
However the focus on marriage is in my opinion wrong. The real issue is whether the two of you want to have a child together. Ask yourself that. And be honest with yourself. Go talk to your best friends about it... (read in full...)
My boyfriends finished after 1 - 2 minutes. Why so quick?
Q. why does my bf cum so quick while having sex? It is about 1 to 2 minutes....
A. 6 November 2006: This is common. It's ok as long as your boyfriend is making sure you get pleasure out of sex too, meaning that you get plenty of time with him before you start screwing. Sex is a lot lot lot more than just penis in vagina.
The simplest thing to... (read in full...)
I don't know if I am ready. Am I ready?
Q. hi im 19 and im still a virgin ive been seeing this guy for 3 months now and i know he wants to have sex but im just not sure, i really like him though! but i just dont know if im ready! help please?...
A. 6 November 2006: Dr Pete is right. If you don't feel ready then you're probably not. It is 100% up to you when you want to have sex, don't feel there is any right time other than when it feels right to you. If your boyfriend really loves you he'll be willing to ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and know nothing about contraception. Too scared to ask mom!
Q. im a virgin and have no idea what kind of protection is best for me and im a little scared to ask my mom! please help?...
A. 6 November 2006: You should ask your mother if you can. She will probably be very glad you asked her, so she can know what is going on with you and can help. If she is very religeous or similar then she might have a problem... you will know if this is how she is.
... (read in full...)
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