| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: hi im 19 and im still a virgin ive been seeing this guy for 3 months now and i know he wants to have sex but im just not sure, i really like him though! but i just dont know if im ready! help please?
View related questions:
still a virgin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2006): This has just been 3 months. I hope your bf isn't pressuring you, hun. If he is pressuring you..he's not the right person! You have to remember that deciding when you are ready to have sex is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make. Everyone must use his or her own common sense and decide if it's the right time- and the right person.
I'm sure you are old enough to be thinking of this but I will say it anyways. Having sex means considering some very important factors-both physical ones, like the possibility of becoming pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted disease-and emotional factors, too. Though a person's body may feel ready for sex, sex also has very serious emotional consequences.
For many people, moral factors are very important as well. Family attitudes, personal values, or religious beliefs provide them with an inner voice that guides them in resisting pressures to get sexually involved before the time is right.
Losing one's virginity is serious business. Consider what would happen if you get pregnant or contact a serious STD? A baby is a lifetime committment and could hinder future goals for you. An STD could cause all sorts of medical problems that could affect you for a lifetime. Only make this decision when you are ready for it. Be smart..think for yourself. Anyone who tries to pressure you into having sex by saying, "if you truly cared, you wouldn't say no," or "if you loved me, you'd show it by having sex" isn't really looking out for you and what matters most to you. They're looking to satisfy their own feelings and urges about sex.
If you feel that you should have sex because you're afraid of losing that person, it may be a good time to end the relationship. Sex should be an expression of love - not something a person feels that he or she must do. If this guy truly loves you, he or she won't push or pressure you to do something you don't believe in or aren't ready for yet.
Last words and read this carefully. When it comes to sex, there are two very important things to remember: one, that you are ultimately the person in charge of your own happiness and your own body; and two, you have a lot of time to wait until you're totally sure about it. If you decide to put off sex, it's OK - no matter what anyone says. Being a virgin is one of the things that proves you are in charge of you, in charge of your life. And it will show that you are powerful enough & mature to make your own decisions about your mind and body. Keep being strong, girl!
A
female
reader, XxTashaxX +, writes (7 November 2006):
 only you can know when your ready. you say your bf wants to have sex with you, well you should only have sex with him when you are truely pyhsicaly and mental ready not jus because he wants to.
remember your virginity is a very special thing and you should only think about losing it once you are sure you wont regret and you know its the right thing for you to do.
good luckxx
XxTashaxX
...............................
A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (6 November 2006):
 in this web http://www.teenwire.com/ you can find lot of info however I recommend you don't do it until u'r relaxed and sure u really want because you love that person and the other way round(which pityfully is not always the case) not because of idiot comments or a supposed age to do all things we are all different and free to choose
good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (6 November 2006):
 Dr Pete is right. If you don't feel ready then you're probably not. It is 100% up to you when you want to have sex, don't feel there is any right time other than when it feels right to you. If your boyfriend really loves you he'll be willing to wait, if he doesn't love you and doesn't wait then he wasn't the right one anyway.
I assume your boyfriend knows you are a virgin? Him knowing that should help him understand why you want to wait and help him accept it without pressuring you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2006): If you have to ask if you're ready, you're not ready.
I think if you still don't know if you're ready just tell yourself you'll put it off for a certain amount of time and then see how you feel then. Also ask yourself how you will feel about remembering this guy for the rest of your life - will the memory of him be a good one?
Good luck with whatever you decide to do :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2006): if you were ready for sex u wudnt be asking. im 19, also still a virgin and i am in no rush to have sex with ANYONE. So, no, i dont think youre ready. After all, three months isnt long enough into a relationship for you to have sex - he will run off soon after or just use you for sex.
...............................
|
