I cheated on her. Should I come clean before we get married?
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for about 13 months. 6 months ago we separated for a few days and I slept with three different woman trying to ease my suffering at the time. one of them was my ex who was always a worry of hers, one random stray ...
A. 14 June 2007: "You say my ego is in control yet it's my insecurities that truly rule me."
Exactly. One's ego is the root of most insecurity.
A way to see your ego is as the spoiled child inside that always wants to look good, blame others, and hates being ... (read in full...)
I cheated on her. Should I come clean before we get married?
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for about 13 months. 6 months ago we separated for a few days and I slept with three different woman trying to ease my suffering at the time. one of them was my ex who was always a worry of hers, one random stray ...
A. 30 May 2007: I think you are letting yourself off the hook by using excuses like 'temporary insanity' and that it was her 'blow' to you that caused it. You need to take direct accountability for your own actions, you are responsible for your actions, and no one ... (read in full...)
How do I know my boyfriend doesn't want to break up for good?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year and a half. We have lived together for about 7 months and now my boyfriend has asked for a break. He says he just needs a week to clear his head. We've had issues in the past - I, personally, ...
A. 30 May 2007: I suggest you write him a long email based on what you just wrote. Take your time and really say how you feel.
It does sound like you are focusing too much on him. Planning your life around his is naturally going to make him feel cramped for spac... (read in full...)
How do I know my boyfriend doesn't want to break up for good?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year and a half. We have lived together for about 7 months and now my boyfriend has asked for a break. He says he just needs a week to clear his head. We've had issues in the past - I, personally, ...
A. 29 May 2007: You don't really know unfortunately. That is trust.
But you should work on providing your partners space whilst in a relationship. It's really mental space that someone needs not physical. Guys, when they have problems or are stressed, can ofte... (read in full...)
Is it right to spend time with the opposite sex when you're with someone else?
Q. Is it right to spend time with the opposite sex when are you in a relationship with someone else?...
A. 29 May 2007: I'd say can be ok when that person is a good mutual friend of the both of you. Other than that, as Frank has described below, it has its risks. ... (read in full...)
My ex is still really angry at me for taking her virginity, when we were both 24...
Q. Hi. My ex is still really angry at me for taking her virginity, when we were both 24. We had been together for about 5 years before having sex for the first time, she had expained she wanted to wait until she was married before having sex. I had ...
A. 25 May 2007: It sounds like you have tried to do the honourable and right thing all along. She is clearly very upset with herself and is pushing that emotion onto you, something quite natural, especially since you had a long relationship together.
This ... (read in full...)
Is there still hope for me after I had sex with him on our first date?
Q. is there still hope for me?.. i made a stupid commen mistake and i had sex on the 1st date and made it easy for him. i really like this guy but i don't know what to do.. most days he will call me and usually it's very rare if he doesn't call lik...
A. 25 May 2007: Oral sex is sex. (hence the word 'sex' in the name :)
Yes it's not quite so 'personal' as intercourse in some ways, but fundamentally it's doing the same thing.
If you are going to play 'hard to get' a bit then the big deal is orgasm. It's his... (read in full...)
We're going on a party camp out..and my bf wants to have sex with me! Should I let him?
Q. Hii. Well next friday I have a party and me, my boyfriend, my best girl friend and maybe her boyfriend and my best boy mate are planning to camp out. As we are typical teenagers we will obviously want booze and we want to have a good laugh. My boyfr...
A. 25 May 2007: You said it yourself:
"Really I think we should wait longer and maybe try something else before sex"
Listen to your instincts. Don't feel you have to have sex in order to keep him (young men just don't feel that having sex means they have ... (read in full...)
Is there still hope for me after I had sex with him on our first date?
Q. is there still hope for me?.. i made a stupid commen mistake and i had sex on the 1st date and made it easy for him. i really like this guy but i don't know what to do.. most days he will call me and usually it's very rare if he doesn't call lik...
A. 25 May 2007: You'll have to wait and see how he reacts. There are so many other factors than when you first have sex when it comes to relationships getting started.
Having said that, having sex very quickly with a guy can turn him off you. If it looks like it'... (read in full...)
I cheated on her. Should I come clean before we get married?
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for about 13 months. 6 months ago we separated for a few days and I slept with three different woman trying to ease my suffering at the time. one of them was my ex who was always a worry of hers, one random stray ...
A. 25 May 2007: Who are you really helping by telling her? Are you helping her? Or are you helping yourself by unburdening your guilt?
You have to ask yourself if the relief you'll (perhaps) find will be worth the pain she has to endure. The 'moral' choice i... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to try and have sex with a female while she sleeps?
Q. wanted some advice from the guys on here. well i slept with my boyfriend last night for the first time. i've been with him for about two months now. When I woke up he was on top of me and trying to have sex again, i don't know what he had been doing ...
A. 25 May 2007: For him to do this when you've only just started sleeping together not normal. Not only is it not normal, it's totally unacceptable, and would even be considered by some as attempted rape.
You need to set some sexual boundaries with this guy, and... (read in full...)
Why do men change when they have been with you for a few years?.
Q. Hi all, Would like your thoughts on this subject. Why do men change when they have been with you for a few years?. I remember when we first used to kiss and cuddle and it was like melting in his arms. The sex was the best ever, and we couldnt lea...
A. 23 May 2007: Watch this (short) video:
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/16
It offers an intriguing scientific explanation to your question... (read in full...)
What kind of women do men like?Moral, level headed girls or blondes who are sexually adventurous?
Q. what kind of women do men like? i am pretty, intelligent and fairly well educated. i am a quiet well spoken sort of person. my boyfriends ex's all seem to be loud mouthed and a little slutty with few morals he told me he likes 'proper blo...
A. 23 May 2007: It does depend on the guy. Pretty, intelligent, well educated and well spoken sounds perfect to me :)
To be honest, I think that its frequently men with low self esteem who like 'airhead blondes' because they don't think they can do any better, ... (read in full...)
Does the size of a penis increase when an adult is circumcised?
Q. Does the size of a penis increase when an adult is circumcised?...
A. 22 May 2007: Nope... (read in full...)
Worried by my girlfriends sexual past...
Q. Before my girlfriend I was a virgin, we have been dating for 5 months and its been great fantastic and wonderfull. Currently the main problem in our relationship is how I feel about her sexual past. Personally I have become gradually more i...
A. 22 May 2007: You are in a common situation. Many guys come on this site saying what you have. I did too, although I was not a virgin, and my gf's numbers were much higher than yours, but then we're both older. I should add that we're still together a year later, ... (read in full...)
Why won't she let me cum on her face?
Q. She let's me do it in her mouth everytime I ask, even swallows sometimes. She let's me do it on he rear all the time and once I did on her breasts but she will not let me ejaculate on her face. Isn't it unusual? Why do you think that is?...
A. 21 May 2007: Unusual? No, its very usual. Many (most?) people find coming in someones face degrading, not least because it stings if it gets in someones eye. Yes it happens in porn (mainly because its degrading), and those women are paid a lot for the ... (read in full...)
I am a boy and how do I calculate my penis size?
Q. I am a boy and how do I calculate my penis size? What is the ideal penis age in 20-29?...
A. 19 May 2007: Well, you can use the method most men use:
- Get hard
- Measure it
- Think 'I wish it was bigger'
- Say 'well thats about 8 1/2 inches'
It's worked for millions of men... (read in full...)
My BF put his computer game before me! Why would he do that?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have always had a shaky relationship, that has now gone on for almost 2 years, but somehow we always recover from any arguments we have. For the last week we've been on and off, on and off...Just the smallest things would have us ...
A. 18 May 2007: World of Warcraft is a VERY addictive game. The biggest problem with it is that when you are playing it, you are playing with other people. That means that once you've started a game (an instance usually) then you can't stop without letting down ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfriend do something with her ex? She had a bruise on her inner thigh.
Q. my girlfriend went to her ex-boyfriends the other night to get some of her things. she said she would be home later and didn't come back till morning. the next morning her and i were getting intimate and i noticed a golfball size bruise on her inner ...
A. 18 May 2007: It does look suspicious, I think you have every right to ask questions. The fact she got angry when you asked also suggests that she has some strong emotions attached to this: which could be because something did happen. Did she tell you why she ... (read in full...)
Am I considered a slut if I gave one guy a blow-job and kissed another who has a girlfriend, both in the same week?
Q. I am so confused!! In the last week i gave a guy a blow job and made out with another guy who has a girlfriend! I dont really try these things but i like both of these guys and they came on to me. Would i be considered a slut?...
A. 18 May 2007: You should be careful doing things with guys who are not single. If you get a reputation for being willing to do things with guys who already have girlfriends then it might be hard for your female friends to trust you. Stick to single guys and ... (read in full...)
Sex doesn't feel like I think it's supposed to feel. I like it, but mostly because I love feeling close to him.
Q. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend (who I am very much in love with) about 2 months ago. I obviously didn't know what to expect, but I know that something is lacking. Sex doesn't feel like I think it's supposed to feel. I like it, but mostly ...
A. 14 May 2007: There is nothing wrong with the best bit of sex being the 'feeling close to someone'. That really should be the best bit!
As for the rest, it just sounds like you are nervous and having trouble relaxing. The best thing you can do is try not to w... (read in full...)
He broke the trust between us in the past and we have worked on but tonight, he sounded the same all over again.
Q. I'm really conused about my situation. My boyfriend and I have agreed earlier today that he should call me and then I will call him back right after he rings since I am away from him for two weeks due to taking some courses. Of course, he did not ...
A. 10 May 2007: Why did he get angry? Perhaps because you gave him a hard time over the phone for not calling him? That would annoy plenty of people. Perhaps he doesn't see this as such a big deal as you do?
You don't mention how he broke your trust in the past... (read in full...)
My partner likes sleeping in, but I want us to spend time together in the morning!
Q. My partner and I have a very loving relationship... there's just one problem. Our sleeping hours don't mix. Doesn't sound too bad does it? But it really effects me. Basically what is upsetting me is that when I get up in the morning my partner ...
A. 10 May 2007: This can be looked at from two sides I think.
Your partner is being a bit childish. He wants to 'sleep in' because he's tired, but then he won't go to bed earlier, because he wants to 'sleep in'. That is a circular argument. You could equally ... (read in full...)
Her Mom works for the school and has seen my bad school record. Now she won't let her daughter date me! Help?
Q. Im in love with a girl but her parents will never allow it. her mom works for the schools so they have seen my record which isnt all that bad but i have my regrets on it and they havent even met me. she tried to break up with her current BF so we ...
A. 10 May 2007: How about working really hard and getting better results? They'll see that too I guess?
If you've 'gone out with your fair share of girls' at your age then you're probably spending a little too much time thinking about girls and not enough t... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with my ex even though I now have a BF?
Q. Hi I'm meeting up with my ex this weekend. I only went out with him for a few months back in 2004, we split up because I felt that there wasn't that spark there, plus it was a long distance between us. I've been with my current boyfriend since ...
A. 10 May 2007: Put it this way: if your boyfriend could read what you wrote here do you think he'd still be 'fine with it'?
If the answer to that question is 'no' then you are in dangerous territory.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will only love me if I loose weight. Should I dump him?
Q. My boyfriend told me that I need to lose weight. We just got back together after we broke up for a couple of months and he said that I looked like I gain weight. So I told him you don't love me the way I am? He said I'll love you if you lost some ...
A. 9 May 2007: Dump him as fast as you can. Love is not conditional on how much you weigh!! That is a terrible thing for him to say. Kick him out the door and say you would fancy him but his penis is too thin.... (read in full...)
My BF tries to beat me in the quality of electronics we both own and we just can't stop arguing!
Q. I don't know how to stop the arguing in my relationship. I don't know if it is my fault or his. He always says it's mine. For example, he got mad that I didn't want to have sex anymore because of my beliefs and said I must be cheating or that I d...
A. 9 May 2007: "I just think that bettering yourself doesn't mean buying bigger and better things than everyone around you"
I'm in 100% agreement with you there. Seeking meaning in our possessions is shallow and unfulfilling (not to mention a big waste of money... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with my ex even though I now have a BF?
Q. Hi I'm meeting up with my ex this weekend. I only went out with him for a few months back in 2004, we split up because I felt that there wasn't that spark there, plus it was a long distance between us. I've been with my current boyfriend since ...
A. 9 May 2007: Seeing your ex is not fair on your current boyfriend. Not when there is still some sexual / relationship tension between you two. Seeing him is also only going to make your feelings and confusion greater.
If you want to make your current relation... (read in full...)
I'm not nervous when having sex but I can't maintain my erection!
Q. Hi, I went clubbin the other day and pulled a girl. We went back to her house, but when it came down to the sex i started off with an erection n just as i was about to enter i lost it. It seemed though her vagina was quite tight to get inside and i ...
A. 9 May 2007: I agree with Sleepyhollow. Take some time to get to know her better, sober, out of the context of the club. Once you do that you'll gradually become more comfortable with her and everything will be easier (and better).
One night stands are a go... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of packing my GFs bags because she flirts and latches onto random guys when we go out together!
Q. Hi Havent done this before so hope Im doing it right! I have a girl been seeing for almost a year right. Nice lass and good fun. One thing. We like to go out a bit. When we are out as a couple we meet other couples and this is fine. Good...
A. 9 May 2007: How you talk about this with her matters.
Don't tell her she's doing anything wrong. Don't accuse her of anything. Don't make it about her at all.
Rather, tell her that what she's doing upsets you. Tell her how it makes you feel. Stick to t... (read in full...)
why am I upset that my friend has found a girlfriend?
Q. Can I ask your opinion. Do you think that I am stupid or is there something in this? this is what i want to know! I am 20 and dating an absolutely lovely guy, we have been going out for over 12 months and we get on so well and I think I love him...
A. 8 May 2007: It's hard to be sure. And I don't necessarily mean the reason I gave is the reason.
What I mean is that there could easily be reasons you're upset that don't mean that you love him now, or that you have a problem with your relationship with you... (read in full...)
Was I raped?
Q. is i rape if you wake up to find someone having sex with you?...
A. 8 May 2007: Possibly. It depends. Is he your steady boyfriend and do you have regular sex? Had you had sex earlier that night? If the answer to that is 'yes' then it's possible that he thought you'd like it and that it would be a nice way to wake up. It does ... (read in full...)
What are the ins and outs about sex! Can anyone explain?
Q. hey. dumb question i know but please could someone explain the ins and outs ot sex. what happend and how it hapens. im really scared. i know it is natural and i know everyone does it but i want to have sex with my boyfriend and i am scacred of what ...
A. 8 May 2007: When people think about sex and 'learning about sex' they tend to focus on the physical side. What goes where, what do I touch, lick, etc? That's useful information, but it's actually not the important part. Nor is it the difficult part.
The a... (read in full...)
My confidence is really low and I'm a size 18 (UK), do guys really want a girl this size?
Q. I like this guy alot but my confidence is really low, I'm a size 18(uk) and im quite tall so its kinda spread out but do guys really want this especially when they're like 18? any thoughts? ...
A. 8 May 2007: If your size is effecting your confidence the best thing you can do is to do some exercise, and cut out any junk food. I certainly wouldn't recommend a 'diet' (they don't work), but some regular exercise will make a difference and you'll feel better ... (read in full...)
My GF was hurt in a past relationship so won't have sex with me! How do I convince her I'm not 'that guy' ?
Q. My girlfriend and i have been going out for over 7 months now. We have done a lot of things but never actually had sex. I am still a virgin, but she had sex once a couple years ago. She says the guy used her and really hurt her and she doesn't ...
A. 8 May 2007: The best way you can prove that you're 'not that kind of guy' is to not sleep with her, as she's requested. That's really not the answer you want to hear of course.
7 months is a long time, I can totally understand your frustration. I was with my ... (read in full...)
why am I upset that my friend has found a girlfriend?
Q. Can I ask your opinion. Do you think that I am stupid or is there something in this? this is what i want to know! I am 20 and dating an absolutely lovely guy, we have been going out for over 12 months and we get on so well and I think I love him...
A. 7 May 2007: "Do you think that I am just upset because now he doesn't need me as his friend? Is he trying to make me jealous? or do you think i am in love with him? Or is it just that because people said he liked me i don't want him to like anyone else?"
... (read in full...)
My husband has gone away for time to 'think' and I'm not sure if there is another affair going on...
Q. Today my partner packed an overnight bag and went off to "think". He says things between us aren't looking good but we could still stay together. He wont make love to me as he says it isn't appropriate at the moment. He also keeps singing REO spee...
A. 7 May 2007: "He is saying it's because of my uncontrolled jealousy that we wont work out."
Ouch! That is really not OK. He had an affair... because of that you have EVERY reason to be jealous and suspicious. Your jealousy in this situation is 100% his faul... (read in full...)
My GF is crying over the fact I am supposedly sending her shorter texts and not all of them have 'I love you' at the end! Help!
Q. Yesterday after a long hard days work I was pretty tired but still went out with my girlfriend and our two mates. As I was the main driver driving a far way back and forth and dropping everyone off I was pretty tired and ready for bed. However my ...
A. 7 May 2007: It sounds a bit like you're getting over the initial 'high' of being with each other. This is totally normal and natural, but it takes some adjusting to. Relationships can break down at this point, when two people realize they didn't have as much in ... (read in full...)
He seems to have disappeared, how do I find him again?
Q. My mum's mate had just moved in her new house and my brother had a mate who lived near by and he was just a year older than me and we really got on we were just about to kiss when my mum came and told me i had to go and the same day he was going on ...
A. 7 May 2007: Have you tried asking your brother? It's his friend so he might have his phone number, or email or msn. If that's too direct you could ask your brother about him and try to set up some kind of accidental meeting. Maybe he'll come round to visit your ... (read in full...)
If a guy's wife was the one to leave 2 years ago and he is middle-aged, is it normal to aim for a girl less than half his age and visit porn web sites?
Q. If a guy's wife was the one to leave 2 years ago and he is middle-aged, is it normal to aim for a girl less than half his age and visit porn web sites. It seems totally unrealistic and frustrating. I feel love for him but he doesn't seem to know I ...
A. 7 May 2007: "he is middle-aged, is it normal to aim for a girl less than half his age and visit porn web sites"
That is pretty normal really. It's not uncommon for men who leave their marriage later in life to try to recapture their youth in some way. Als... (read in full...)
His last proper girlfriend slept with him after three weeks which makes me feel like I'm a prude or a tease by comparison.
Q. i have recently started dating a boy i love very much. he's also one of my best friends and two years ago he used to date a friend of mine. their relationship ended peaceably and she's quite happy for us to date. we've been going out for a month no...
A. 3 May 2007: Well, she slept with him after 3 weeks and look what happened to her... they split up! Do you want to end up in her situation?
If a guy really likes you then he'll be willing to wait for as long as you want him to. If he won't wait then you shou... (read in full...)
Does anyone else feel sickened by the increasing erosion of personal intimacy in relationships?
Q. Is there anyone else out there getting as sickened as I am by the increasing erosion of personal intimacy in relationships? I find myself amazed at the way that sex seems to be meaningless, you can have threeway, with other people while you are ...
A. 1 May 2007: I sometimes feel the same. There are some positive takes on this however, or at least ways to understand it that make it possible to cope a bit better:
The World you describe is not really the World as it is. Yes it does happen, but it happens ... (read in full...)
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