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female
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anonymous
writes: im a virgin and have no idea what kind of protection is best for me and im a little scared to ask my mom! please help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (6 November 2006):
 If you are scared to ask your mum then it sounds to me like you are too young for sex? Please do correct me and tell me off if I am wrong for making that assumption, but how old are you? I am not going to advise you on types of contraception, I believe the others have done a decent job of that, what I will say is this, and if it sounds like a lecture, then I dont apologise. Virginity is special, you cant lose it, its taken, once its gone, you cant get it back, even if you pay or beg, its gone forever, make sure you are ready first. Take care. xXx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2006): I would suggest looking into forms of contraception online, and because you are in the states you do need to tell your mom that your going to the doctors as she will be paying for it I assume.
If your in a relationship and are thinking about having sex make sure that you are of legal age before you have any kind of sexual intercourse.
Also it is definately worth speaking to some kind of family palnning specialist. over here in the UK, we have places where anyone can go to speak to specialsts about our concerns with sex.
And we even get free contraception, we call them family planning clinics so if you have some sort of equivalent in your area then I would suggest going to see them as they will answer all your questions.
ok hope I have helped
good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2006): i wouldnt talk to my mom either-im sure she wouldnt want to know! For the first 3 years of my relationship i used condoms and nothing more. if you dont know what to use then make these your first option and when you know more and you feel like you want to take pills every day oor have some form of implant or injection as a contraception method you can. Condoms are really easy to get hold of and free from some places, but if your like me- i love ebay, it costs a little bit but its so discrete nobody wll ever know and you wont have any embarassing visits to the doc ect
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (6 November 2006):
 You don't mention your age or whether you're actually in a relationship. I think if you are very young and still single, perhaps you can read articles on the net and specialist books at the library. Then when you meet someone and are ready to start having sex, your Mum willl hopefully appreciate your honesty and maturity and you can chat with her about your concerns.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (6 November 2006):
 You should ask your mother if you can. She will probably be very glad you asked her, so she can know what is going on with you and can help. If she is very religeous or similar then she might have a problem... you will know if this is how she is.
Also, sex is about a lot more than contraception. Having sex stirs up all sorts of powerful, complex emotions such as love, lust, wellbeing, security, desire, and also anger, jealousy, resentment and fear. These are a lot more complicated than contraception, and made even more so because for boys and girls these feelings can be quite different. Making it very hard to understand boys, and easy to be hurt by them too. Your mother will maybe be able to help you with this too.
You can also find good information on the internet. Start with this site and click on the 'Birth control and pregnancy link':
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
Some quick tips from me:
- Don't think that by using no contraception but with him 'pulling out in time' you are safe. YOU ARE NOT SAFE doing that. Sperm starts to come out of a penis a long time before climax. This means you need to ALWAYS use contraception. I've known a few friends get pregnant accidentally this way.
- Condoms are extra-useful because they prevent most sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) as well as pregnancy. That is why the get recommended the most: when you have sex with someone you don't know it is very important to use a condom. Some STDs if you catch you can never get rid of which can make your sex life difficult for the rest of your life. If you are with a steady boyfriend (which by the way is usually the best sex), then you can consider other birth control, once you both know that neither of you has any diseases.
- Going on the pill or getting and IUD can be a good idea as well as using condoms, since condoms sometimes come off or break (that happened to me and i got someone pregnant that way). They are an extra safety. That is something you might want to talk to your mum about. IUDs are not that common but most female doctors use them! And doctors know what they are doing. My girfriend uses one and says it is better than the pill. You may be a bit young to use one however.
- It is really worth using contraception and not forgetting because you are drunk (or don't have any condoms with you). An abortion is a horrible experience and friends of mine who have had them have felt bad about it for sometimes years afterwards. However bad you think contraception can be, an abortion is a thousand times worse. Really.
Good luck, and do try to talk to your mother about this.
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