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female
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anonymous
writes: Does anybody here ever feel like they are 'odd?;'Sometimes, if my friend is calling me i will ignore the phonei like to be on my own a loti hate making converstaioni feel that eveyone dislikes meI get very jealous if someone is prettier/richer/more popular than meI lie a LOT and honestly cant seem to stopI get very attatched to peopleDo u think i am a horrible person or something is up with me???please helpi hope that this question is not too strange!!
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (11 November 2006):
 Most of what you describe is really normal.
The only thing that stands out is the lying. Do you think you know why you do this? Do you think it is because you want people to like you so you tell them what to hear? Or perhaps you think they'll be dissapointed if they find out the truth? Or think you're not interesting?
Like others have said, it sounds like you might just be a bit insecure. This is very common, many many people feel the same way. It's not easy to overcome but you can do it. The main thing to realize is that everyone else has similar doubts and similar concerns, and that people out there really aren't out to get you or to find fault. Hang out with good friends and people that care about you and do things that you like and are good at.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006): omg you're just like me, my phone rings alot and maybe half the time i actually feel like answering most of the time i cringe i love ebing by myself with me and my music and what not (especially because i don't know many people who listen to the same stuff as me)
anyway everything you have said applies to me but i don't care and i don't worry.
just the like the LONG prev post, if you're concerened you could do something about it, it sounds like it bothers you.
it sure as hell does not bother me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006): no and yes.
no, I don't think you're a horrible person. not at all.
yes, i feel pretty confident that something is wrong. How can I tell?
Well, first, you went to the trouble of posting about it on an internet site. Our intuitions are worth more than we usually credit them. You wouldn't have written here if you felt completely fine -- this stuff gets to you at some level. And understandably so. I think you feel like, on the one hand, your life objectively isn't so bad, and you seem like most people, so why do you still have this sense that something's off? You were looking for some kind of reassurance. I can tell you that depression is very very very common in my family. It comes, in our case, from a genetic disorder that causes problems absorbing a particular brain chemical (also causes seizures and other disorders in many family members). The good news is that once ppl figured out what the deal was, the ones who wanted to take a pill to correct the absorption of the chemical no longer have that vaguely unsettled feeling. Your story sounds to me strikingly similar to what I've heard so many people say to me before.
Consider:
If your friend is calling, why do you ignore the phone? Do you sometimes just feel like you don't have the emotional energy or the desire to talk to them? Even when it's someone you like? And there's not anything else in particular that you feel like doing? That's called withdrawal. It's a symptom of depression. I've felt it. It wasnt that I was lying in bed, unable to move, thinking of death ... I just felt ... I don't know, ... maybe hollow? ... and I didn't want to talk to anyone.
You lie a lot and honestly can't seem to stop. I can't tell you how many of my family members have told me that. They don't lie about meaningful things -- it's not "I cheated on my bf but lied and said I didn't." They're not even always lies of convenience. Often, they're telling a story, and as they're talking, it occurs to them that wouldn't things have been better if they'd said this instead of that. And that's how they tell the story. Or wouldn't it have been cool if something like this had happend. And it COULD have happened. And so they said it DID happen. Or they tell lies to avoid confrontation. Or to cover for "strange" behavior or the need for so much alone time. It's oten tied into depression. Think about it.
If you feel that everyone dislikes you, is it because they've all told you they dislike you? Is it because you've done terrible things to them? My guess is that you sometimes feel quite good about yourself, but then, occassionally, you're plagued by the feeling that maybe you really are a terrible person. That's depression. The irrational belief that the world is against you ... another symptom of depression. Depressed people interpret everything in their world through a set of lenses that's just not quite right -- so they get their feelings hurt more easily, they see slights where none were intended. They're more likely to infer something negative from a failure to call, a sideways look, etc. This is classic.
If you get very jealous, is it because you really can't stand for other people to be pretty/wealthy/happy? Or is it because, on some level, you feel really bad about your own life in these regards -- maybe even irrationally so -- and seeing someone with "more" is a convenient target for your emotions? (Obviously, this would be something that happens subconsciously -- I'm not suggesting you consciously target negative emotions at people.)
I have a LOT of experience with depression. Almost everyone in the world deals with it at some point in their life. And there's a lot more that can help you than just pills, if you're against medication. (In fact, often, pills aren't what's recommended ... it depends on the circumstances. Sometimes they prescribe special lamps to change the amount of light you're getting; sometimes counseling; etc.)
You really wouldn't have bothered with this post if you didn't sense that something was a bit off. I wish ppl would trust their intuitions more. Please, please, please, please, please schedule an appointment with your doctor. Tell her about what you've described here. She'll be in a good position to help figure out what's going on, and there's a good chance she could get you something that would help. (And seriously, those lamps ... I have friends who swear by them. This isn't voodoo witch medicine ... it's legit.)
Besides, the symptoms of depression can also be symptoms of other serious medical conditions, especially related to the thyroid or blood. So please get checked.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): hi i get really pissed off alot too.
if someone is prettier, thinner, better dressed, cleverer or if there just on my territory at work i hate them, and i usually go out of my way to better them.
i can only stand some people, other s i won't talk to if they ring me
i also get very attached to one person at a time and get very involved with them.
apart from that i'm normal lol and i'm quite a bubbly and out going person. its just part of who u are xx
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female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (10 November 2006):
 Hiya
Maybe this is just a bit of your personality... I know quite a few people who like to be on their own a lot in fact I'm one of them.... I can make conversation but to be honest I prefer to be with peopel who also make conversation... I get jeolous and very attached to people.... So you see most of the things are just part of you and when you accept that and enhance it you will be happy.
I am a bit worried about the lying though and it sounds as though you might be a bit insecure....... because you are doubting yourself... and your confidence levels are not that high because you think everyone dislikes you and also put other people above yourself.......... For this I would say that you may benefit from soem counselling.
Tell them that you're not confident with yourself and feel insecure. Depending on where you live you could go to your GP and they can point you in the right direction... Or look onthe internet for soem local services.
Also how old are you and are there any other factors that make you feel like this that you can think of?
Write back from Sexybum xoxox
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