A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with a younger girl. I don't have a problem with the age gap because age is just a number to me, but I turn 19 this November, and she just turned 14. The thing is that I love her so much, but she wants to have sex. I object to this because of well the law, but she says if I don't that she'll break up with me. We've been known each other for 2 years, and been dating just a little over 1. She says she loves me too, but if she did whether we had sex or not wouldn't matter right...What should I do? I don't want to lose her :( Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lady tinks  +, writes (27 March 2007):
 ok first things first if you were to sleep together you would be breaking the law. secondly if this girl is threatening to leave you over this, she obviously isn't mature enough to be having sex. I know you may love this girl but she is too young for you. Get out there and meet people of your age im sure you'll find happiness good luck sweety x x x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007): omg i cant believe you! i dont want to appear prejudiced but i find your realtionship wrong! if she is just turned 14 you shouldn't be seeing age as a number, you should be seeing her as a child and realising you could get into a lot of trouble! Again she is 14 - far too young to know true love is, it's my guess she still has a lot more teddy bears in her room than condoms. Really that's the way it should stay toys in her bed and you no where near her! sorry but thats what i believe
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007): She is far too young. Go out there and meet someone your own age or this could turn seriously nasty, ie the law!!! You say you have been dating for over a year, er wasn't she just12-13? Isn't that a bit on the sick side, sorry, but i think you should be glad you haven't been arrested by now. If that girl was my daughter i would of kicked your arse out of town!! Meet someone your own age. Sorry, but i am a bit disgusted with you!
...............................
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (27 March 2007):
 Hi
Its a very fine line here isn't it. Really you should not be dating her in the first place, but you do seem to care about her. And if you do love her then surely you would never hurt her, right?. You see here is the difference, you are mature enough to know this is wrong, but your G/F is not.
Try to explain to her the way you feel, let her know you are a really caring person, and you want her to be able to make a grown up decision, WITHOUT THREATS.
As for the person who compared you to Gary Glitter, apart from him being a man, isnt he about 55 years old. I think there is a difference.
Good luck and I hope you stick to your guns and make the right decision.
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (27 March 2007):
 YOU need to take the reins here as YOU are the adult in this relationship. First of all you need to be assertive and let her know the boundaries in this relationship. "If you don't have sex with me I will break up with you." Does that sound like a mature person talking? She sounds 14! She is way too immature to be having sex, apart from the fact YOU would be breaking the law as she is a minor. Let her know that as much as you love her you WON'T be having sex with her until she is the age of consent and if she is happy for you to risk going to jail for having sex with someone underage then it sure doesn't sound like she loves you the way she claims.
There is nothing wrong with having a relationship with her but it must remain a non sexual one, she hasn't even fully developed yet! If you do love this girl then you will let her see that because you love her you can wait. If she can't...? then you walk away!
Eve
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007): You're a lady as well? You do realise that kids at her age usually get confused about their sexuality. She may not be into women when she grows up. Besides, I totally agree with maxsteel on this one, even if you dont wanna have sex right now, why are you dating a little girl?
...............................
A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (27 March 2007):
 Just a second, you're saying that you used to be dating a 13 year old??? Hmmm Gary Glitter molested two girls in Vietnam. One was aged 13Why are you dating a child? Love my ass, you should never have allowed yourself to get to this stage so pretty much you brought this down on yourself.Age is just a number to you: closet peado, everybody!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 March 2007):
 You're absolutely right. If she genuinely loved you, the sex wouldn't matter. Smart observation! That tells me that you have a good head on your shoulders.
If you don't feel the timing is right, it isn't. Also, I think she should wait until she's a little older. If you do decide to have sex, make sure she goes into the doctor (like a Planned Parenthood) and get's all the right information about birth control and STI prevention.
It is illegal to have sex until you're sixteen years old. I think it would be a good idea if you two waited... I don't think it's okay for her to be giving you this kind of threat (of breaking up). Where is the love, I ask you? Where is the love?!?
Anyhow, good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007): First off love is love, and the guy below me clearly has no idea what he is saying because you don't want to have sex with her. You're actually wanting to wait. You love her, and that's sweet. If she doesn't understand she clearly wasn't the one for you, but you seem sweet so you'll have no problem finding a good catch. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, chalkie  +, writes (27 March 2007):
 you could go to jail for sleeping with this girl for god sake if ye both love each other ye will wait till she is off age and if she dont well pet shes not for you if she wants to get u in trouble the age gap is to much try girls your own age she sounds a bit pushy for her age dont be pushed in to some thing u dont wanna do or that u will get in trouble for wait wait please
...............................
A
male
reader, home_land  +, writes (27 March 2007):
 hey she is a child and you have to stop that with you being 18 you are a man and men dont do that, that is wrong.and tell her family please if you care about that child i dont know what is wrong with you this in my world not normal i dont know where you live not on mars there is no life there it is rusty,good luck
...............................
|
