A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really fancy someone at my old job that i left last week. He is 30 and i am 20, and we used to flirt like mad. We built up such a close relationship, but he never asked me out. On my last day he asked for my email address and we exchanged them, had a cuddle and said our tearful goodbys. Three days went by and i never recieved a message, then right out of the blue i got one saying good luck ect and do i fancy going out for a drink one night. I really fancy him, but my friends keep telling me not to reply straight away, to leave it a couple of days, otherwise i will look desperate, or to keen. Do you think he wants me, and do you think my friends are right to not email back straight away?.Thanx xx
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female
reader, peppersalt  +, writes (11 April 2007):
he's expressed an interest in going out with you. he's probably aware you check your email regularly, and it'll be pretty obvious you're waiting for the sake of it to send one back so just do it! You're adults, there's no need to play games. getting all 'I love you' on the first date is desparate, but accepting his offer quickly is fine. Maybe if you did wait he'd think you weren't that interested after all.
Go for it!
A
female
reader, XKelseyX +, writes (10 April 2007):
 hes already done the hard part making the first move by mailing you why wait any longer to get intouch! go for it.
Kelsey
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (10 April 2007):
 Hey, you like him and he likes you.. you're both adults. You'll seem desperate if you send flowers to his office and start calling him around the clock. Don't keep the guy waiting! Write him back or give him a call and say, "hey there... I'd love to get together for drinks. When do you have some time this weekend?".
Go out for drinks and then take it from there, sweet thang!
xxIndia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2007): I agree with DrPsych. Don't purposely play games with him, he will only think you are less interested in him than you actually are. Some people like to portray that attitude (such as your friends) but personally I don't see anything wrong with replying when you want to reply.
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A
female
reader, Dr.philina  +, writes (10 April 2007):
Reply quickly and say something like ur busy that night and you.d love to go bt say that youre available the next night or the weekend.if you delay replying he.ll lose intrest or think that ur rude
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A
female
reader, Pretty and proud +, writes (10 April 2007):
 I can see what your friends mean but reply as soon as you want and if he doesnt reply straight away to the email you send him then leave it as long as he left it to send another x
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (10 April 2007):
 I don't think there is a need to play games with the guy and replying quickly is polite rather than desperate. It sounds like your mates have been reading too many of those 'how to get yourself a man' books. I think he is a clever guy - he waited until you left his workplace to make a move which is the professional thing to do. Go out for a drink and see what happens!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2007): Hi there,
You are lucky to have friends who are looking out for you and giving you advice. however, I believe that if you get someones number or email address, THAT is the time when you shouldnt rush into using it. That is probably why he has waited 3 days to contact you.
I dont think you should wait to reply because people naturally check their email on a daily basis anyway, so you wont look desperate if you reply straight away, you will however seem uninterested if you dont reply soon.
Hope this helps,
Jamie
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