A
male
age
,
*shirt
writes:My girlfriend of 7yrs has walked out,offering no explanation and is seeing somebody she works with.I have tried to contact her,without stalking or phoning her all the time but she will not respond.I have to accept that the relationship has ended,but what should I do with all her belongings that she left ? I'm not the type of person to throw it all away but I don't want to create problems by confronting her.We lived together and she still has a key to the flat but I think I'm going to change the locks, as she has been gone for 9 days and has returned while I was at work to collect some of her stuff but has left a lot of clothing (including a recently bought suit) hundreds of cd's dvd's and videos,toiletries books etc.Can anyone advise me ?
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female
reader, fluffer +, writes (8 April 2007):
It's only been 9 days so this must still be very raw for you. Pack everything up (nicely), and do like everyone else said text or phone her. Could you not take it round to one of her friends or a relative? It sounds also like maybe you would like to see her to get some answers, but I think she's behaved like a complete coward in just leaving and not saying anything so best just to put it all down to experiance and move on. I think you made a lucky escape, she'll probably do the same to the new bloke if she gets bored of him.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (7 April 2007):
 Hi there,
Why don't you drop off big box of her stuff at her work? You could leave it with someone to give to her so that you don't actually have to see her.
Or, you could leave a message on her phone, "if you don't get your crap out of my house in two days, I'm selling it." - give her a proper warning and if she doesn't come around sell the stuff and take yourself out to dinner. So sorry that she left you so abruptly, but she really doesn't sound like the kind of woman you want to hbe with, does she? Find yourself a woman who will love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated!
xxIndia
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (7 April 2007):
 Send her a txt to pick up the stuff, leave a voicemail and email too. Include when you'll be changing the locks so she knows by when the stuff will become inaccessible. If she hasn't picked it up by then, do whatever you want with them (personally, I'd go for ebay) but if you wanna be nice, there's those charity shops. Dont know the legalness of it, but then again, the cops the way they are, even if it wasn't legal, there'd be no problem
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A
female
reader, ingotblue +, writes (7 April 2007):
 I think that you should change the locks txt or leave a voice mail telling her that this is the case if she is still not answering your calls.
During the voice mail or txt give her a time limit to collect her stuff and when you will be around to let her in. If she doesnt come to collect her stuff within the alotted time then keep the dvd's and cds you want and give the rest to charity.
It seems to me that the things she has left at yours may bring to her unwanted associations as they probably will to you, remember she did love you at one time and probably didnt want things to go the way they have done.
And these items will remind her of the underhanded way she has treated you.
I hope this response has helped in some way.
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A
female
reader, maryann61181 +, writes (7 April 2007):
 She sounds like she is confused herself. I'm sure there is more to the story and I can only assume that she was just fed up. I don't know if you spoke of marriage, but maybe she felt as if your relationship was at a stand still and she wanted more? Legally you ned to hold her stuff for 30 days, then the belongings become yours and you can do as you wish. I know that this is difficult for you to accept, but it sounds like there are issues of her own that she needs to work out and may not have everything to do with you.
She knows that she is wrong, since she comes in to remove her things while you are out. She's afraid of confrontation and doesn't know how to explain herself. A part of her has feelings for you and she feels for someone else as well. Many people confuse the 'butterflies' for love - when this is just an attraction - or lust. Sometimes this feeling is much more overwhelming than love is and quite often confused.
Try to spend this time with other people that you care about, so they can support you through this. Ask for help packing her things for her and set them aside, so you don't have the reminder of her. She may come back and she needs to provide an explanation. Don't push her for one - don't call her - don't try to find her. Wait for her, the more you push the more you're pushing her away.
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