A
female
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anonymous
writes:Dear cupid...im a 16 ( almost 17 ) year old female and i was wondering if there is something wrong with me..ive been with my boyfriend who is 20 for almost a month and we've started talking about sex witch doesnt bother me except that im still a virgin and have absolutly no idea what im doing, ive never been close enough to a guy for this level of intamicy. is there something wrong about being a virgin at 17??? i mean all my friends make it sound so easy but for me its seems impossible,i really think im ready but everytime i get close to it happining i have to stop myself due to nerves...is there anything i can do to ease this tension??? thank you for listining!!!
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (27 June 2007):
 There is nothing wrong with you being a virgin. Have you told your boyfriend this? If you havent do so. You will find he'll be understanding and probably relax a lot of your fears. It's not as scary as you think it's going to be!
xxxxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2007): there is absolutely nothing wrong with being 17 and a virgin . i gave up my virginity at the tender age of 15 and i have regretted it ever since. sex is not the be all and all of a relationship, and if your man isn't willing to wait until your ready then he is not the one for you.there are plenty of ways to relieve the tension. you don't have to have full sex for example touching each other in a sexual way kissing cuddling and if all else fails either masturbation in the privacy of your own room or together. you don't have to lose your virginity until YOUR ready. don't be pressured be sure he is the one for you.be comfortable with each other you will enjoy it a hell of a lot more.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2007): im the same age as you, and i am still a virgin. i turn 17 in less than a month and all my friends have had sex and i know they're not lying.
im also being pressured to go out with this guy, but not for sex. just to go out with him by his mates.
all the comments i have read have really helped me. and i just wanna say that i said to this guy im "kinda with" that i was ashamed to be 17 and a virgin, and he said to me.. how can you be ashamed of not giving into peer presure?
and he was so right. its like taking a first toke of a cigarete or weed. dont do it, just coz everyone else thinks you should. its not their life!
wait until you're comfortable. its wat im doing. too many people i know lost it to the right person at the wrong time.
good luck, watever you choose will be the right for you!
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A
female
reader, RXX +, writes (8 April 2007):
 There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with being a virgin at 17! and you shouldn't let your friends or anyone else make you feel that it is wrong.your body and mind will tell yourself when you are ready and it will flow easily - the first time that you have sex shouldn't be under pressure because at the end of the day your only a virgin once.take your time with it and if the time comes and it feels right, then you will know that you are ready.do what you feel is right and not what others say or think.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2007): i think it's ok to be a virgin at the age of 16, it is only just legal. i know someone who had sex at 12, they got in lots of trouble, because they didnt know what a condom was. so now your old enough do it when your ready...with protection.
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A
female
reader, ask paige +, writes (6 April 2007):
 hey there first of all I have to say there is absolutley nothing wrong with you being a virgin at your age believe me when you're 20 years older you will be thankful you wern't stupid and lost your virginity at 13 or 14 and ended up pregnant! and you have a right to be nervous about your first time verybody is, so I think that you should wait until you are COMPLETELY ready and definately know your ready and whatever you do dont feel that you have to do it if you dont feel comfterable, and also dont do it if you are being pushed to have sex do it when you comfortrable and feel ready good luck babe oh yes and dont forget protection whatever you do!!! lol xxxxx
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (6 April 2007):
 There is nothing wrong at all. In fact, most people are virgins when they have their 17th birthday. Meaning it is more unusual to lose your virginity at 16 or younger.
Bear in mind that some of your friends are probably not telling the truth. Most of my friends told me all about the sex they were supposed to be having, and then when I lost my virginity (I was 17), suddenly it turned out that most of them were making it up.
As for you, it's not easy. If it doesn't feel right then don't do it. Please take your time and don't feel you have to do it because your boyfriend is putting pressure on you, or because all your friends are saying they are doing it. Trust me, waiting until the right time is really worth it. Any experienced adult will tell you that. And when do you know it's the right time? When it feels comfortable and right. You'll know when you know. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (6 April 2007):
 Hi there, sweetness.
There's totally NOTHING wrong with being a virgin at 17. I was a virgin until I was 19 and boy was I glad I had waited. When I finally found my boyfriend (who I lost my virginity to a year and a half ago), I just knew that he was the right guy. I still waited for about 2 and a half months until we "did it" and that just made the experience that much better.
Take your dear, sweet time with this guy. Get used to kissing and then maybe progress to touching, etc., etc. Wait another month or two before you jump into bed with this guy -it'll give you a little more time to relax and get comfortable with him and that will ease the tension.
You are NOT a freak, there is NOTHING wrong with you. You should be proud for waiting so long... I promise, it will make the first time that much more special and exciting.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2007): There is nothing wrong with you! Why we worry about the age we loose our virginity at beats me....and yet the majority of us often do. I was older than you and Im about to be married to the only man Ive ever made love to. Some people find this strange in todays society, but I believe to go with whatever feels right for you. Only you will know when this is. If you dont feel comfortable right away tell your boyfriend. If he cares for and respects you then he will be understanding and willing to wait(and is the sort of man you would want to be with). Your first time is special and you probably just dont have the confidence yet. Aferall, a month isnt very long for some of us. We are all different. With time and understanding, this will get easier for you. Take things slowly, speak to your boyfriend and be very clear that you want to use contraception. All of these things together will help you to relax more. Dont always take what your friends say as gospel truth, often they are just as scared as you and dont want it to show. Good luck and dont forget the contraception bit.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2007): There is nothing wrong with you, hon. You are right to be wary. A month is not a very long time. You cannot know someone in that short time. If he is pressuring you about having sex, he may not be the right one. You are the one who knows when or not you are ready for that relationship. Don't ever do it because you feel you are "expected to" or you must or lose the bloke. If he fades, you made the right decision. He did not deserve you. He was only interested in that one thing. Anyone who really cares for you would be respectful you didn't so soon. It would tell them you would not with anyone else so soon, either. Understand what I am saying? Forget what your friends say. You are you.
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A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r +, writes (6 April 2007):
there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin at 17, infact it should be praised that youve waited till your comfortable with someone before youve thought about it.theres no trick to sex, as the saying goes 'different strokes for different folks', we all like different things and your next partner might like you to do the opposite to this one. the key is to know to read the signs of enjoyement, even better talk it through with each other. if hes a good partner hell understand.id be more worried about your friends and their 'experienced' past.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (6 April 2007):
 I lost my virginity at 18, and was glad that I waited until I was ready. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you still being a virgin at 17, you should be proud not ashamed and if your boyfriend is a decent guy I'm sure he will be understanding and will be patient with you. Please when you do finally reach third base be sensible and use a condom.
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