A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:so i have known i meet his guy 8 weeks ago. i am 22 by the way and he is 32. well he is my friends neighbor but that was like the first time anything more than pleasantries was said.5 weeks ago we made out, it was also the first time we had hung out since the first time. every weekend since then (except for one where he was gone for work)we have seen each other.he didn't just get out of a relationship but he just filed a restraining order against another neighbor who was crazy mad in love with him and actually sought me out to attack me after she saw us together.he says he can't do the relationship thing right now, which is fine we have only been hanging out for a month i don't need to make him my boyfriend however....my relationship math is being to tell me otherwisehe has no problem kissing me in front of our mutual friends/public + sex + neither of us are seeing anyone else + enjoying each others company + seeing each other every week + he pays for everything + cuddling + having the big and small things in common =......i thought this is what a boyfriend is/doesam i missing something?my friend who is like his little sister said that she thinks as long as i don't call him my boyfriend or do anything to make him think i am forcing him in that direction he will settle in and become my boyfriendwhich i actually think would be very coolhe certainly already treats me like his girlfriend, like this weekend he will gone for business again, and when he left my place i was like well i will see you later, and the he was so quick to jump in and say esactly how long he would be gone and when he would get backso what do yall think?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 October 2008):
 It sounds to me like he's just a little scared of that label "boyfriend". Some guys, it just sounds so intense. They would rather be "dating" someone - maybe because it sounds like they have more freedom.
I would keep going on the path you're going. Be the cool, sweet gal you are (your friend gave you great advice. Don't force him into commitment) and in a month or two, he'll be more comfortable with your relationship. Then he'll be excited to be your boyfriend!
P.S. I love your "relationship math". !
A
female
reader, Aunt ~ Em  +, writes (27 October 2008):
 Boyfriend is simply a label to put on a relationship and it tends to make things a little more exclusive.
Seeing as neither of you are seeing anyone else and you appear to be meeting up regularly it would make sense to call him your boyfriend, but some people just aren't comfortable with being labelled in that way. Perhaps he's doing it to protect you, after all you have mentioned some crazy neighbours... The best thing to do is accept it as it is and enjoy your time together. Even if you do have to tell your friends "oh, he's just that cute guy that I'm seeing" where's the harm in that!?
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