A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So heres the thing.... I have this ex boyfriend (I'll call him jay) and I'm still in love with him but I recently found out that he's with another girl and I actually saw pictures of them making out. I can't stop crying over all of the pain I'm going through, he's my first and only love so it's hard to watch him move on without me. So is there anything I can do to get over him or at least mend my heart back?!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHANK YOU....ALL OF YOU.
HE ACCULY CALLED ME THE OTHER NIGHT AND WE HAVE BEEN TALKING EVERY NIGHT SENCE THEN AND APPARENTLY HE RELIZED THAT IM GOOD 4 HIM SO HE WANTS US 2 KEEP BEING FRIENDS WHICH IS GREAT BECAUSE ID RATHER HAVE HIM AS A FRIEND THAN AS A MEMORY....
YOU ALL HELPED SO MUCH.....I CALLED MY FRIENDS AND RELIZED THAT I CAN LIVE WITH OUT HIM.....I JUST DONT WANT TO.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (16 October 2008):
 Ooooh, my sweet. I want to give you a huge hug.
Break ups are the WORST, especially when you're not the one who moves on first. I totally understand, my darling.
The best you can do, at least what has always worked best for me and my girlfriends, is to distract yourself. There is no instant cure - only TIME. So what do you do? Distract yourself until you're feeling better about the situation. Call up your girls, tell them to come over and keep you company. Go see a movie, go to the mall and window shop. Talk to some cute boys! Just try to distract your thoughts from your ex.
Hugs to you from a girl who has DEFINITELY felt your pain.
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A
female
reader, becks81  +, writes (16 October 2008):
 Please understand that this is not meant in a partonshing way at all but your first love may always stay with you because it's the most memorable but you are so young and have your future spread out before you. I'm afraid it will hurt right now and we all know how painful it is especially first loves because it's so new. You cant mend a broken heart when you want to it takes time and you need love form friends and family to get you through this painful time. But the most important thing for you to do is try and find some self life put yourself first and leave boys alone preferably until you feel ok inside. Stop looking at his profile or messaging him or anything like that how are you supposed to move on or even try when you keep getting slapped in the face like this when you see him with others. It;s easier said than done but start writing a diary or something about how you feel if it helps don't tell him get your emotions on paper it can really help.one day you will look back it will be a nice warm memory because this is the start of your life in the world of dating and someone better trust me they will be will come along and your;ll wonder why you felt the apin you are now. You have loved someone and that means you have a good start in life in my books it's a selfless act when you really love someone so think this guy was lucky he had that from you and if he is now with another you're best off giving that love and time to someone else who really loves you back.Good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): The same thing happened to me..even worse he told me afterwards that "this girl was a much better girlfriend than me." We had been together for almost two years. I did the wrong thing and would instingate fights with him or try to mend things with him when the girl he was with finally broke up with him..wrong wrong wrong. You need to realize he was not the one for you and pick your head up and start going out again. Crying and being upset does nothing but make the hurt linger longer. When i finally realized to do this, 3 months later I found the most amazing guy. He loves and appreciate me for how great I am. Although, I will always have love for my 1st guy I fell for, I will never be IN LOVE with him again. Once you begin going out and being with ppl who make you happy and your happy with yourself and realize this just wasn't what was best for you...that really special person will come along. The first love is always the hardest, but you have to kiss alot of frogs before you find your true prince. Good luck hun..you'll be fine!!!
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