A
female
age
36-40,
*iss-Tee
writes:is it good for fiance and finacee to be living together before they get married.
View related questions:
fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (8 December 2009):
I think if you're engaged, it's a good idea. I agree that it varies from person to person, and a lot of it has to do with each person's experience.
For me, I would never live with a boyfriend again. I feel it becomes a "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" situations. So I always decided that I would have to be engaged, a wedding date set in place, and arrangements have already been made before I would consider living with someone again. But everyone has their own perspectives and it doesn't always work out for the best or the worst.
I actually read somewhere a few years back that people that lived together after marriage stayed together while people who lived together before marriage often ended up divorcing. So it's really all just a matter of what you two are comfortable with and knowing for sure that everything is going to be okay in the end.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (8 December 2009):
 Oooh, tough question, and one that is definitely a "to each their own" situation. On the one hand, you can really get to know each other and make sure you're compatible. You can adjust to living together and then sliding into marriage won't be such a huge jump or have huge surprises (he's a complete slob, snores to high heaven and his routines drive you bananas). On the other hand, it does take away some of the mystery and excitement and may become too comfortable and never turn into marriage.
I lived with my fella for two years before we got married and loved it. Especially because as soon as we got married, he left for the Marines, so I was pleased that I got to spend lots of quality time with him beforehand! But, living together was fun, we worked out all the kinks and discovered that we loved coming home to each other. So, marriage felt right and was a easy transition.
But, really, to each their own. Lots of different opinions on this one!!
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 December 2009):
 This is a good question, one open to many answers because many people will look at it from different points of view. I will state the obvious in saying that I can only give you my personal opinion :-).
You don't really know a person until you live with that person, under the same roof, having to spend the day in her company, including the good times, like soccer games (which is when she will complain, of course, and right before that great goal) and bad times, like when you watch, say, Oprah, and YOU want to change the channel. Only when you really think that this woman is to be your partner and you have to come to terms with her on many things is when you get to know her. And, therefore, my opinion is that it is very much positive to live with the person before you actually get married, so you really-really know what you're getting into.
I wouldn't recommend that step to many women, however, as it is perfectly possible that the man will like her, but then won't want to marry because "they are happy just like that, and there's no need to bring the sharks, I mean, the lawyers, into this".
...............................
|
