A
female
age
41-50,
*ich33
writes:Hello, I have been dating a man for about 9 months now and we have had a lot of problems since the beginning. We both have issues with drink and we have been agressive violent with each other on a few occasions when drunk. He has threatned me on a few occasions but never hit me this has happened when he has been drunk and when he has been sober i started to do the same to him which i know is wrong so i stopped doing that. Recently things have gone from bad to worse he had a drink one day and assualted my best friend(male) for no reason what so ever it was unprovoked he is now bail and will be charged for ABH he may end up going to prison or worse deported as he is foreign. We decided to get back together during this time as we do still love each other and want things to be sorted out we both have made appointments for counselling to get help. My feelings at the moment is that i am no longer sure we should stay together everytime i look at him i just see the night he assualted my friend and all the pain we have put each other through which hurts. We both agreed we are tired of the arguments and the problems we have togther. I am scared to get close to him emotionaly incase he goes to prison or things dont work out between us i dont know what to do anymore i love him but i feel it is less than before i want to be with him but it hurts at the same time.Any advice would be grateful
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best friend, drunk, get back together, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (6 December 2009):
 You are both toxic to each other. What a horrible relationship. You're not helping each other and you're definitely no good for each other. I definitely think that you should end this relationship and start getting help for your own issues and drinking problems. It will be exhausting to try and fix both of you at once.
Good luck!!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 December 2009):
You're right. You both need to be miles apart. Being with him is going to destroy you. You need to get rid of him and focus on your own life for now. Sort out your drink problem and let him go. To be honest, this sounds like it's just a nightmare. End it before you get even more hurt and focus on yourself for a while.
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