A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Any advice on how to be more appealing to guys? It seems as if guys get bored with me or something. I've never been asked out on a date nor been in a committed relationship. I've heard the key to success is not to sleep with the guy on the first night, and I've done that and after sometime the guy still doesn't see me as girlfriend material. One guy I was involved with, we hooked up for two years and he never wanted to commit to a relationship. But as soon as we stopped hooking up he immediately got a girlfriend, so it's obvious his problem wasn't not wanting a relationship he just didn't want me. Something has to be wrong with me and I don't know what to do to pinpoint exactly what it is, I'm starting to think I'm just not cut out for being in a relationship. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): The bottom line about sex, regardless of whether it's the 1st date or the 51st, is this: Once he has gotten sex without committing then he usually won't commit.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (7 December 2009):
 If a guy doesn't see you as girlfriend material because you didn't sleep with him on the first date, then he's a scumbag. End of story. He just doesn't see you as "f*ck buddy material". It's not like not sleeping with a guy on the first date is a magical key to finding a decent guy, it just shows them that you want to be taken seriously, and you aren't easy. It shows them that you believe in yourself and you know how much you're worth.
Making yourself appealing to guys comes down to this. Be comfortable and confident with yourself. If you come across as desperate or unsure or insecure a guy will pick up on that and you'll attract the wrong kinds of guys (e.g. a guy who will hook up with you for two years and then get a girlfriend). Nothing is wrong with you. You're a great girl who deserves a great guy - a guy who wants to date you for you and not for your T&A.
Don't worry so much about finding a fella. You'll find a good one - nay, a GREAT one. And in the meantime, just feel happy with yourself, get involved with lots of activities and go with the flow. Life will deal you a fantastic guy. No worries.
Good luck, sweetness!
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