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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi,I moved to London with my boyfriend earlier this year, everything is great, i just miss my friends! my best friend in the whole world is coming to london in December to visit her family and me too and she has assumed we will do something together for new years eve... The problem is she seems to really dislike my boyfriend and is really unpleasant to him, often TOTALLY ignoring him and discluding him from conversation completely. it makes him feel really horrible and there is no reason for her to feel like this, trust me, there really isn't. I havent even told my boyfriend shes coming because i know we'll get into an argument about how mean she is to him and how i dont do anything about it. Me and my boyfriend were (obviously) planning on spending new year together, he'll be less than pleased to have her as a third wheel, how do i say this though?? I know i probably should say something to her but it'd have to be over email which is hard to do plus she is really defensive and NEVER admits to be wrong, ever. HELP! she's coming soon and i need to know what to do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): hello from sunny SA! Im gonna keep it short and sweet; I think the other answers have said it all. At the end of the day, only u know the right thing to do. Be honest with urself and ur loved ones but remember to look at where their opinions are coming from too. Dont lose something specila over silly arguments. Good luck! And merry xmas.!
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (30 November 2009):
 Geez, this doesn't sound like a very good friend to me! How exhausting her trip will be on you! But, it'll test your relationship (with your boyfriend AND your friend), and hopefully everyone will be a little stronger after the visit.
I'd definitely talk to her. Why not get on the phone? You need to be firm and clear and not give her any room to be wishywashy. Tell her the issue and make some ground rules. And if she gets feisty with your boyfriend, stand up for him and let her know that her behavior isn't welcome.
If you want everyone to be friendly, make sure that you're boyfriend is armed with a good attitude and he'll let little things roll off his back. Make sure that you're prepared to talk to her if she gets carried away (stop her in her tracks), and make sure that she's ready to be friendly and include him in your activities. Remember - she's coming to YOUR territory. You already had plans and now she's welcome to join. Make it clear that she is joining you, it's not like your boyfriend is intruding on girls night.
Good luck, sweetness!!
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A
female
reader, babymama99 +, writes (30 November 2009):
 You tell your "friend" that if she can't treat your boyfriend with the respect that he deserves then you will not be able to spend time with her. Period.
If you were to write in here and say that your boyfriend allows his friends to treat you this way and then expects you to spend new years eve with them I would say dump him and get a guy with a spine.
It's on you to get a spine and stand up for your boyfriend. New Years is suspposed to be a time of new beginnings, not having to endure negative vibes from this pest. Tell her that you will come and visit her at her families home and you can hang out, but New Years Eve is for you and your guy.
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