A
female
age
26-29,
*as it all just a dream
writes:Let's just get straight to the point, I'm nearly 14 and I've been seeing this lad for just over 3 weeks, he's nearly 16, but the thing is he wants sex even though he says he's ready when I'm ready. Sometimes I think he will dump me if I don't have sex with him even though when I have asked him and mates have asked him he has said he wouldn't dump me if I don't have sex with him because he luvs me too much. When he asked me I said I would but I don't want to because I feel different about him than I have with any other lad, in other words he's really special to me, I think I'm ready though. What should I do???? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): Your way too young. You're only 14, and he can get into trouble for having sex with a girl your age. Wait till your 15 at least and know this guy longer.
A
male
reader, previasc96  +, writes (23 March 2009):
If he says he'll wait for you and he isn't pressuring you, then what's the big deal? Don't feel obligated to have sex! your just a kid! you shouldn't have that kind of stress in you life right now!
...............................
A
female
reader, was it all just a dream +, writes (23 March 2009):
was it all just a dream is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks alot these should really help i was having second thoughts aswell coz iv known him as long as i hav been seein him as i started goin out wiv him lyk 6 hours after i met him anyways fanks for the help!
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (23 March 2009):
 I think you should wait a bit longer before you sleep with him, it is too soon at the moment before you go ahead and do this. 3 weeks isnt a very long time to be with someone and it is hard to know how you feel about them and how they feel about you in such a short space of time.
I understand that you may feel like you love him and think he is really special, and thats fantastic but you need to make sure he feels the same about you. He may just be saying he loves you now so that you sleep with him, and then as soon as you do have sex he will leave you. Dont let this happen to you - make sure you wait a while.
Now you must know that you are legally underage and once your boyfriend turns 16, he could get in trouble with the police for having sex with a minor (if the police found out i.e. someone could have informed them).
Now I dont agree with young teenagers having sex under the age of 16 because emotionally many teenagers are not ready. However I had sex for the first time when I was 15 and a half (6 months before my 16th birthday) and even though I was underage it felt right. But the only reason it felt right was because my boyfriend (who was 17 at the time) was my first real love and we waited until we had been together 6 months.
So what I am trying to say here is that you need to really know 100% that you love this guy, and that he loves you back. You also need to have been together a few months minimum, so when you do have sex it will be really special and mean so much more to you both. You also need to make sure that you are safe when you have sex, so you must use a condom and ideally you will be using some form of birth control too, like the pill or the injection. This is very important because you dont want your first time to end with a pregnancy scare!
You need to make sure you are totally ready to have sex before you go ahead and do it, dont feel pressured into it by your boyfriend or because you are scared he will leave you. If he does dump you because you wont sleep with him then he is not a nice guy and you shouldnt waste your time on someone who only thinks about sex. Sex should come as a happy addition to your relationship, something that comes after you have really fallen in love and know lots about each other.
Sex shouldnt ever come first, even now at my age (I'm 21) I would wait more than 3 weeks before I sleep with someone because I dont want to be used for sex by a guy and I also like to really get to know a person well before I decide to sleep with them. You need to fall in love first, just enjoy each other's company and going out on dates together, and then sex will happen when it feels right.
I hope this helps and if you have any other questions please feel free to message me!
...............................
A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (23 March 2009):
 If he's really special to you, then don't push things too fast by having sex after 3 weeks.
Plus, you're only 13! Sex is a big responsibility! It is not to be taken lightly by either person.
If he really does love you, then he will respect you and wait and not push the subject again until you are older. Plus, as Gina said, you are underage.
I know I frequently give sex advice to young people who are underage, but only if they have already been having sex. At that point, they need to know how to be safe. For you though, you haven't had sex, you are as safe as you can get pretty much.
If you feel like he would dump you for not giving in to him, then he really isn't the boy for you. There is nothing wrong with waiting. And a relationship based on only sex always fails, especially if you have real feelings involved.
...............................
A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (23 March 2009):
 It's known that young lads often just go in relationship for sex, once they have what they want. They go elsewhere.
There's only one first time and it can either be a magical moment or just sex.
I lost my virginity at 21 to my girlfriend at the time, also virgin, of 18. We were in a relationship for a year and half beforehand. To us, it was a magical moment.
I had a few sexual experience after that but there was no magic, just sex.
...............................
|
