A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, my boyfriend's friend who is female is staying at his house... Before I met him I met him through her they were really good friends.. She used to tell me that she used to stay at his house and they shared a bed but didn't do anything. She has been with her boyfriend for 5 years and is in love with him and they wanna get married one day. But when I go over to his house there is no evidence that she slept on the sofa.. I am going out of my mind that they might be doing stuff but I don't wanna accuse because I don't want to annoy him and seem the paranoid girlfriend. Is it ok for them to share a bed? They tell me that she sleeps on the sofa but I'm not stupid... help!!!! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): Nope.it's absolutely NOT ok for them to share a bed.but are you sure she's not using the sofa?if you are,then that means that your bf is lying to you,aka he has reasons to lie to you,aka there might be something going on there.but before you start throwing things to him or threaten to strangle his friend,make sure they are actually sleeping together.and if they are,make sure that they do something more than just sleep together.if they do,then knock yourself out =D
A
male
reader, previasc96  +, writes (23 March 2009):
Your boyfriend shouldn't let her sleep in bed with him anymore. If he respects you, he wouldn't allow it anymore. Tell him you are not comfortable with having another woman sleep in bed with him. I'm sure he wouldn't want one of your guy friends doing that with you LOL!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): Your getting totally played here and so is her boyfriend. Both you guys need to wake up.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 March 2009):
No in my opinion it is not ok for her to share his bed.
I have shared a bed with guy friends when I was single, and nothing happened. But it was still a pretty intimate thing to do.
As soon as I got a boyfriend, I would stop sharing their beds because that would have been disrespectful of my bloke. I wouldn't like it if he shared a bed with some girl and so I return the favour.
It's not about trust, it's about respect.
If you don't like it that they share a bed and he knows this and does it anyway, then he does not respect you.
Talk to him and ask him to be honest with you. Where does she sleep when she crashes at his.
When he tells you, just be calm with him and ask him why he lied. You HAVE to stay calm so he can't just say "Cause I knew you'd go mental like this!"
Then ask him why, when he knew you didn't want him to, did he go and do it anyway?
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (23 March 2009):
 Sleep over at his house!!! Get in his bed so she can't! No its not ok for her to sleep in the bed!!!!!! And if it was my biyfriend he wouldn't even be allowed anyone to stay over! Keep your eye on them!x
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (23 March 2009):
 I agree with Tigerlily... why is she in the bed and you aren't? Or even, why is she spending the night still?
I would sit your BF down and explain that you just feel uncomfortable with her staying over like that now that you two have significant others. She should either be at her place or at her BF's.
BTW, waht does her BF even think about all of this? Maybe is is just as put off about it as you are and all 4 of you need to have a talk.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (23 March 2009):
 This is a tough one - they have told you she sleeps on the sofa so technically you should believe him. You say there was no evidence she slept on the sofa, but was there any evidence she slept in his bed? If you cannot prove that they are sleeping in the same bed together then there is not a lot you can do I'm afraid.
She has a boyfriend, your boyfriend is committed to you so you would end up looking very paranoid if you did confront him about this. So while it is not ok for them to share a bed, it is also not ok that you dont trust him.
So unless you can prove they were in bed together then I think you are just going to have to take his word on this and believe in your man.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (23 March 2009):
What's the old saying... Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"? Why is she sleeping over at his house and you are not? Kind of hard for her to sleep in his bed if you are in it I'd say. No way is it OKAY for her to sleep in his bed with him... ESPECIALLY if there is a couch!!
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