A
male
age
51-59,
*avid_67
writes:Hay everybody,My girlfriend and I have been in relationship for almost two years and have decided to move in together.She has three kids (7,9 and 11 from first marriage).She is seeling her house and with that money will pay off her mortgage and want to put second half towards our house we want to buy together.I'm renting at the moment and have to get a loan for the rest of the money for our house.I want to marrie her in near future but we wont have kids on our own.Can someone tell me what should we do to make this 'transaction' as fair as possible.As soon as we move in she is loosing Centerlink money for kids and I have to cover mortgage repayments and go half with bills,food..It is going to be a mortgage around 300000aud to pay off.Should we make some official agreement before all this?how many % of house each of us will have at the end?what if we split?am i loosing everything because of her kids if we split?I realy dont know this relations and would be grateful if someone can explain it to me.thank you,David
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male
reader, david_67 +, writes (25 March 2009):
david_67 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUh! doesnt sound easy hey?! kids father managed to arrange to pay absolutely nothing for his three kids,so she has to pay everything.will talk tothe lawyer and see what they will tell me about sharing bills and other money issues in a such family.i am little bit scared because kids are still little and who knows howthey will end up treating me as their step dad and in the meantime i need to provide for all of them?!
hope everything go well...
thank you
A
female
reader, loving arms  +, writes (24 March 2009):
as already stated you need a solictior to advise to properly. I am wondering where the children's father is, is he paying towards the up bringing.
You talk about paying half the bills, there's no such thing as half when there are so many children to clothe and feed.
I would advice that before you guys do the be commitment thing, you move into their home and see how life is. It's really not easy agreeing on the rules for the children when you are both the birth parents, god knows how diificult it'll be when you are a step parent.
You could rent a home together for a year and leave the money from the sale of her house in the bank for a while. This could be a wise move because house prices are dropping so you might get a better deal later on.
As for what belongs to who when/if you split up if she paid half a payment on the house she is entitled to that back plus added value of property. Then even if you pay the mortgage she will be contributing to other bills and care of the house so will be entitled to another share of the house. Plus courts take into account how much she will need to provide a home for her and her children should she need a new home. Basically you could be left with very little. So rent and be sure you are ready for this ready made family.
Hope everything works out well
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A
male
reader, david_67 +, writes (24 March 2009):
david_67 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'll go to see a lawyer to se what they will say.thank you all. :o)
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A
male
reader, guppypig  +, writes (24 March 2009):
Talk to a solicitor. In the States, marriage provides better legal protections. But in some Commonwealth countries, you're better off financially staying single. Whatever you do, make sure every transaction is written. You're in love right now, but you may very well be in court near term. Money changes people.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (24 March 2009):
 I'm afraid I have no knowledge on the Australian legal system and you will be hard pushed to find someone on here with the type of knowledge you require. Therefore I suggest you go to a lawyer and get some proper legal advice on your situation.
All I know from my knowledge of the UK mortgage system is that if both names (i.e. yours and your partner's name) are on the mortgage document then you both have an equal share in the house. I'm not sure what the law states if you split up seen as you are not married, but I would suggest that you sign some sort of agreement (written by a lawyer) to make sure that neither of you is left out of pocket if you split up.
I hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 March 2009):
 Yep David you need to discuss this with an attorney.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (24 March 2009):
 I think a layer would be more qualified to answer this question.
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