A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a baby with my boyfriend he doesn't plan on getting married to me. In fact he's already married to another woman. Their relationship is rocky and he wants a child to have his last name even though we're not married. Should my baby have my last name?(Mod note: please use proper English grammar and punctuation next time.) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Italie  +, writes (25 March 2009):
 Hi
Yep, I agree with the others. It will get extremely confusing for you and the kid when, for example, it goes to school etc and you have to explain constantly that you have 2 different surnames. This child is going to be your family from now on and families have the same surname. If you get married to someone else in the future and have children with him, it will also be a lot easier to change your childs surname to your new family name if it has your current surname.
xx
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (25 March 2009):
 The child should have your name, it is as simple as that. If he is still married to another woman and has no intention of marrying you then he has no right to expect the child has his surname.
I hope this helps!
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (25 March 2009):
 I'm going to tell you this.. Give your child, your last name. This guy does not deserve the ability to have your child to bear his last name. You can officially tell him to go pound sand.
He has no plans to marry you and you are probably just a side dish to his marriage which is of course is rocky because he makes it that way by sleeping with other women rather than trying to smooth it out.
You need to tell him to go pound sand and get out of his life except when you see his child support payments.
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (25 March 2009):
 Traditionally, a child born of an unmarried mother will have the mother's last name. Check your state's legal procedure for carrying the father's name.
His name will already be on the birth certificate as the father of the child, which means you have the right to claim for financial support for the child from him.
Seeking child support from him [for your child] is within your rights, regardless of the baby's last name. If he doesn't have any children (or sons) then it is about him being a male in a patriarchal society (where only males continue the official blood line).
Why does he want his last name of the child? If your state does not regulate that a child can have his/her biological father's last name, the other option is for him to legally "adopt" child . This practice is not uncommon, when a couple with [their own, or from different partners'] children finally got married.
So, why don't you go to the nearest civil registration office and ask what the regulations are in your state. Since this is your baby out of legally bound relationship [i.e. you are not legally married to him] then you have more to say on the baby's last name than he does.
I would be careful in deciding to use his last name though (but then, maybe I watch too many family drama movies on TV. LOL)
Good luck!
Cat
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Mr Me +, writes (25 March 2009):
 I'm going to be blunt: screw the guy wanting to have the baby to have his last name!!!!! The baby should have your last name.
I say this because this guy is NOT your husband (in fact, he's NOT your boyfriend... he's married). He has no claim on the baby's name. It doesn't matter how rocky the relationship is between him and his wife... that baby should get your name and the first name that you choose because he's not really a part of yours and your child's life!
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