A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, a few years ago when I was young around the age of 10-12 I liked this boy name him A. so I was a typical girl to go after him instead of being straight upfront that I like him. You can say I chased him, (at that age I knew nothing about love he was my first). As I chased after him, trying to make it obvious I like him, he went further away from me. I basically chased him away. Then gradually I grew older and I knew I still had the feeling inside me, I still liked A but I didn’t show it much, I showed hatred instead. So did he, wow I found that weird, from being slightly mates to I like you, then to hatred. But anyways I didn’t realise that i was covering that I like A by showing I hate him. So when I finally did realise I thought that’s what he was doing as well. Yes he was but seriously didn’t show much love. Too much hatred. All he ever done was hate me 24 7, which seriously did get on my nerves because it was like I am not doing anything to show my crush to you, then why is he acting like a jerk. When I mean jerk I mean serious jerk he constantly took the piss out of me, made me cry as well few times, and I couldn’t believe it myself. Then it came to the point I had enough I was probably 11 years old, so is stopped all the crap and just acted normal towards A, so if someone lied and said something about him I told him straight, what they said, just like I would to a mate, or anyone really. But he still seemed to hate my truthfulness and me, so I just had enough and gave up. Next year came and he still showed hatred, but not as much, I just hid my crush, never said nothing about it, other wise might end up making a fool out myself and ending up with him taking the piss out of me. But this time A constantly looked at me, showed so many signs he likes me, but I didn’t do much about it nor did he. When he stared at me continuously I pretended to be pissed off and say what you starring at, or like put my head down so he can’t see me. But all he said was what’s your problem I’m not even looking at you. He smiled a lot at me etc… Still hated me though. I had enough of chasing after him so I didn’t bother anymore, I thought It was a crush but wasn’t as I liked him for a lot of years. I’m in the process of getting over him, 4 years later, and he showing me he likes me properly and wants to go out, but I’m kind of annoyed cause he admitted to liking me but why now, its so many years later, I do admit I like him, but what makes him think am available. I seriously don’t know what to say to him, I’m confused what to do. Any advise please. What’s more annoying is we were in the same school when all the above happened when he hated me, we left 4 years ago and go different schools and now he chooses to tell me that oh by the way I like you, what does he expect me to do. A seems serious now, I guess he’s more mature but I’m totally confused what to do, when he confronted me yesterday at the end he kissed me on the lips, and I allowed him to, which makes it more worse cause I feel like a total idiot for letting him kiss me. Cause what if I decide to say no and he’ll be like but we kissed or something like that…. Yh he is a good kisser though, and I enjoyed it hahahaha: S help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (28 March 2009):
 Well when he was being so mean to you he was just being a typical boy, guys when they are that young tend to be mean to girls because they dont know how to show that actually they like that girl, and they dont want to be seen as soft in front over their friends!
You say that at 11 you didnt know what love is but he was your first....I'm sorry to sound patronising here but that "relationship" was not love, it was just a crush and still is a crush. I know you have liked him a long time but you cannot love someone unless you are actually together, properly, not chasing each other around a playground and calling each other names!
You are now only what, 15 at the most, therefore you still are too young to have any idea what love is. Love comes when you are in a long term relationship with someone, when you know everything about that person and just want to spend all your time together. So until you actually have a boyfriend you wont have any idea what love is - so please stop thinking this is love!
What you need to do is decide if you still like this guy and actually want to be with him. It has taken him all these years to mature and that is natural, you shouldnt be mad at him for taking this long because you were both still children when you first liked him. A child (especially boys) dont want girlfriends - they think girls are disgusting until they hit about 14/15 when they start to realise that girls can be more than things to make fun of!
So you can be mad at him for doing what is only natural and miss the chance to be with a guy you like. Or you can get over it and start dating him! It is that simple - you are mad at him over nothing and if you stay mad he will get bored of trying with you and move on to another girl. Guys dont like being knocked back as it hurts their ego so if you knock him back then he wont try again, keep that in mind!
I hope that helps!
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