A
female
age
30-35,
*iais
writes:I need some serious advice here...I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now and I don't know what to think.I have been a little clingy, asking him to stay over more, trying to make love more(usually after one time he is spent:(), and calling him as soon as he is off work.He say's he doesn't mind and that he likes how attached i am to him, but this is what happened: We were talking about marriage and he said it sounded nice, and than the next day while sitting on the couch he asked me to marry him. No ring or nothing. I was so happy, and we talking about having a long engagement and we went and picked out the ring. About a week later, he say's that "He loves me, but doesn't want to be engaged now". He still comes over and everything, but i feel hurt by the sudden take back of the proposal. Did my behavior push him away?
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female
reader, oiais +, writes (23 March 2009):
oiais is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell i hope that is all it is! Thanks so much Gina
A
female
reader, oiais +, writes (23 March 2009):
oiais is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually maybe i should clarify some key points.
He is 26, kinda nerdy, spends most of his time on the computer or with his friends playing video games.
we didn't buy the ring, but he was going to go back and get it. We had our fingers sized and everything.
We get along so well, and everything seemed like a picture perfect romance (Not completely, but you get the idea) and than one day he says he still wants to be my boyfriend, but doesn't want to be engaged anymore. I don't know what changed his mind
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (23 March 2009):
 I dont think it will have been your behaviour that will have made him take back the proposal; I think it is just common sense that made him do that. You are young (I am assuming he is the same age too) and you have only been together 6 months - this is not the right time to be getting engaged and he probably just realised this.
I bet when he proposed he was just caught up in the moment and the romance of it all (and probably he just wanted to make you happy) but then after he went away and thought about it he must have realised he is too young and not ready for that sort of commitment. There is nothing wrong with this - at your age you should just be having fun with each other and enjoying each other's company. There is no need to rush things and getting engaged can come when you are older and have been together longer. I know you are hurt and it must feel awful, but he actually did the right thing.
Being engaged would have put pressure on your relationship - financially and emotionally. I think you should try and forget it; he is still with you and still loves you. You dont have anything to worry about, just take it slow and enjoy being together.
As for feeling that you are too clingy - maybe you need to start seeing more of your friends and doing other activities away from your boyfriend. Men quite like women to be a little unavailable because they like the chase; your boyfriend wont really like the idea of you just sitting around at home waiting for him to finish work so you can call him. Start seeing your friends more often, and try doing hobbies/activities that you used to do when you were single/younger. Having outside interests away from your relationship will only make the relationship stronger - you will have more to talk about when you see each other, on the days when you are busy you will miss him and he will miss you too so when you do get to see each other you will both be more excited and will enjoy the time together more.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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