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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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New hot date! Face is a mess! What should I do?
Q. Ok i have a date this saturday with a guy i met off the internet...he seems great, good looking etc....but i have bad acne...lumps on my cheeks etc and my confidence is on the floor....even with makeup the lumps can be seen...im not sure if i should ...
A. 21 July 2009: Well there is not a lot you can do in time for Saturday I'm afraid, it is up to you whether you feel confident enough to go ahead with the date or whether you want to re-arrange it for another time.
However what I can help you with is the acne and... (read in full...)
He's talking about having kids, but I'm scared it will ruin things
Q. Sooo im 17 ill be 18 in three months and my boyfriend has asked me to marry him. We've been together almost 3 years now and we both love each other so much! I really love this boy and i think he's amazing and sweet and just PERFECT for me! I know we ...
A. 21 July 2009: I think the best thing to do is to talk to him and tell him how you feel. If you have had a tough childhood then you have every right to be a little hesitant when it comes to making plans for the future, and I'm sure your boyfriend will be very ... (read in full...)
Stomach pains... should I be concerned?
Q. Hello, i was just chatting with my bf the other day about babies and what we would do .. and i got this awful pain in my stomach like my body was telling me something.. i dont think im pregnant as im on the pill, we do have sex on my pill free wee...
A. 21 July 2009: You are still covered by the pill on your pill free week, the hormone levels stay the same therefore you cant get pregnant. The pill works by not releasing an egg anyway so when it comes to your pill free week there is no egg to fertilise!
The o... (read in full...)
Do I stick it out with the current bf or give the new Welsh guy a try?
Q. Hi, I'm feeling very confused at the moment. I have had a very on and off relationship with my current boyfriend for just over three years now. I have recently moved to Wales and he's still in the Midlands and we have found the long distance thing ...
A. 20 July 2009: I find it quite ironic that you are complaining about your boyfriend's inability to commit, however you have cheated on him! You cannot seriously think about moving in with a guy you have cheated on, if you really believed in the relationship with ... (read in full...)
Is friends with benefits more emotional than a relationship?
Q. Friends with benefits people say its less emotional but surely its more? because if you've been friends with them for some time then you would care for them a lot, probably more than a new boyfriend so if you lose them then not only do you los...
A. 20 July 2009: Well you are right if you get into a FWB with a very old friend, because undoubtedly sex will change things between you and it will affect your friendship.
But in reality, FWB has come from the crude American phrase "Fuck Buddy". So over in the U... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend of four years a month ago...is it bad I'm dating again already?
Q. I Broke up with my serious boyfriend of 4 years a month ago....is it bad im dating already? Only been on one date but have another this weekend.......i still think about my ex but know it was the right thing to do as i was looking else were and ...
A. 20 July 2009: Its not a bad thing to be dating again, in fact it is good for you to get back out there and get used to the whole dating scene again.
But what would be a bad idea, a very bad idea, is to jump back into a relationship with the first guy that com... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me I would fail
Q. My bf just told me that I would fail at my career because I'm not loud and out going enough. I was so hurt by what he said. He thinks hes an expert cause a friend of his works in the industry. The thing is though, you dont have to be like that to be ...
A. 20 July 2009: Spending your life with a person like this will only drag you down, your boyfriend should be someone who supports you in everything you do, and believes in you 100%. If he really loved you then he would want to see you do well in your career, and ... (read in full...)
Now I have gotten older guys don't seem to fancy me anymore!
Q. When i was like 13-15 or 16 guys used to fancy me, but now i am 17 i don't think they do? and i have realised guys kinda hate me. does that mean i won't be in a relationship and what am i doing wrong and i'm scared? numerology say i am attr...
A. 17 July 2009: All guys have different taste in girls, therefore you cannot say that all guys dont fancy you because that is not true. Some guys wont fancy you because you are not their type, but on the other hand some guys will fancy you because you are the sort ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is being unfair! I find it hard to orgasm with him...so he has stopped trying!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been going out for a couple of months now. We have been having some problems sexually as we have been finding it hard to make me cum, i can when im masturbating but not with him. Because of this my boyfriend has given up ...
A. 17 July 2009: Are you saying he cant make you orgasm through penetrative sex here or that he cant make you orgasm when doing other things too?
If you cant orgasm during sex then this is normal, many women struggle to orgasm through penetrative sex. There is... (read in full...)
One night stand with Lothario leads to pregnancy!
Q. I went on a girls night out a few weeks ago, had a good time, had fun, but unfortunately I couldn't resist the advances of a good-looking Lothario, and I slept with him. I didn't plan to sleep with him but was under the influence at the time. A se...
A. 17 July 2009: I guess the reason he has been so forgiving is because he must really love you (or he has a secret of his own, although that seems unlikely). Some people have different views on cheating, for some it is a deal breaker so when it happens then thats ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't love me anymore
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now, but I overheard him telling my best friend that he doesn't love me anymore and that he's been pretending to like me so my feelings won't get hurt...I'm more hurt that his hugs and smiles have ...
A. 17 July 2009: Confront him and then dump his sorry ass! You dont want to be with a guy who is only with you out of pity, so you should just get out of the relationship and find someone who really wants to be with you!
He will realise what he's lost when you... (read in full...)
Lack of sex is making me want to leave my girlfriend before I cheat on her!
Q. My girlfriend tells me im hot and sexy. Very often i have to turn down other girls that want sex from me, but my own girlfriend never comes onto me. She has an extremely low sex drive and my only option is masturbation. I am in my early 20's and i ...
A. 17 July 2009: Well I think you need to talk to her about this! Explain to her that you believe sex is a very important part of a relationship and that you feel that at the moment there is not enough sex in your relationship. You should at least give her the ... (read in full...)
Do you know what love is?
Q. Hi this isn't really a help question more i want peoples opinions on what they think the definition of love is? my definition is someone you love and care for is always there for no matter the circumstances someone you can never stop thinking ab...
A. 17 July 2009: This is one of my favourite quotes and I think it sums up pretty well what love is, and what it should be.
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to ... (read in full...)
Should I have a relationship with the boy I have been raising even though he is another man's son?
Q. I have been married for ten years. We have two sons. My wife recently told me she was having an affair with a coworker for five of those years. According to her, that man is the father of our youngest. Supposedly she broke it off six months ago ...
A. 16 July 2009: I understand your anger at raising another man's child without even knowing, what your wife has done is awful and you have every right to feel this way.
However I do believe you should continue to have a relationship with the younger son. You have... (read in full...)
He didnt want to kiss me when we played spin the bottle, but he was happy to kiss the other girl!
Q. Me and 2 friends of mine hung out in an abandoned old house today. We got bored so we played spin-the-bottle.When it came time for me and Matt(not his real name) to go in the other room he didn't seem to wanna make out with me and when I kissed him ...
A. 16 July 2009: How do you know he had no problems kissing the other girl? If you had to go into another room then you cant have seen him kiss her, therefore he could of done the same thing to her!
You are not ugly, I think you are definately over-rea... (read in full...)
Is he serious or just joking?
Q. My boyfriend of a year and a half has, in the past, said multiple times that my friends are wh*res, n*ggers, and handfuls of other derogatory names because of some threat that they pose to him. I am not friends with bad people, I am not friends...
A. 13 July 2009: You say you pride yourself on befriending good people who would never be disrespectful - well maybe you should pride yourself on choosing boyfriends who are well-mannered and respectful, because this boyfriend certainly is not!
If this man love... (read in full...)
Are married women more flirtatious than single women? This study has me confused!
Q. confused and need help.. lately i saw a video on the youtube showing a confusing study that says marreid women or those who are in a stable long term relationship are more flirtarious than sinlge women !! the study was made in a club and it ...
A. 13 July 2009: I couldnt find the video after much searching on Youtube however I still stand by what I said in the first answer. While I do talk a lot about the video, you did ask about the accuracy of what you had seen therefore in order to answer that question ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is under the impression I have a really big penis, but I think I'm average. Will she be disappointed?
Q. Ive met a girl that I really really like. and she has also fallen for me to. She has left her boyfriend of six years for me. Anyway, this might sound very stupid but please take it seriousely as it is getting to me. She is under the impres...
A. 13 July 2009: I think from the size you have described she will be more than happy with what she sees ; ) 5 and a half inches around is pretty wide (wider than average I would say) and often the width gives more pleasure than the length!
A woman is only dis... (read in full...)
Are married women more flirtatious than single women? This study has me confused!
Q. confused and need help.. lately i saw a video on the youtube showing a confusing study that says marreid women or those who are in a stable long term relationship are more flirtarious than sinlge women !! the study was made in a club and it ...
A. 13 July 2009: Well this so called "study" is a video on youtube of women dancing, where someone is discussing their clothing and the way their body moves? Think about it, there is no way on earth this study is even close to being accurate! It cant even call ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and betrayed by my porn loving boyfriend
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 15 months. I am 8 and a half months pregnant with his baby. We are both young (i am 16 and hes 22) and He has told me, not just told me but promised me and looked me in the eye and said "babe i dont need ...
A. 13 July 2009: Ok well what he is looking at is so wrong and really he should be reported for looking at child pornography, it is a crime to look at children in a sexual way. If you want to report him to the police then that is your choice, I know it will be ... (read in full...)
Can you catch STD's from oral sex even when neither person has one?
Q. Ok, this is a very simple question but I don't know it. Well my girlfriend gave me a blowjob and she was worried she mite get something we are both 15 yo. n have been dating for 3 yrs. I wanted to know can she get a disease even if I don't have ...
A. 13 July 2009: Ok you can only catch a sexually transmitted disease if one person involved has a disease. Therefore if both of you are sure you dont have one (they are often symptom-free so you need to be 100% certain) then NO you cannot get a disease and neither ... (read in full...)
Are your weight and wrinkles related?
Q. dear aunts!! Im 24 and I can see some fine sines of wrinkles around my eyes while laughing!!! Due to this im bit tensed and dont want to laugh loud!!! Im bit thin am 45kg. Does the weight have any connection with wrinkles??can you give me some tips. ...
A. 7 July 2009: Being thin doesnt mean you are more likely to get wrinkles but being thin does mean that your wrinkles will show up more clearly on your face and they will be more visible than if you were slightly heavier.
Thin people dont have much fat on their... (read in full...)
Why would she text me after telling me to forget about her?
Q. I went through this painful breakup with my now EXGF about a month and a half ago. Two weeks ago we ran into each other at the store and I said Hi and she said hi back without making too much eye contact. the next day I sent her a text just saying ...
A. 7 July 2009: I think she is going through some complicated stuff in her head right now hence why she will have said for you to forget about her. That is quite a signifcant choice of words - she could of said that she doesnt want to speak to you anymore, that she ... (read in full...)
How do I convince my best friend to come to uni with me? I'm terribly insecure!
Q. Im applying for university to do a law degree, ive decided to live away and am very insecure and scared of not making friends, ive always been very socialable but find my self fake smiling at peoples jokes and thinking god please shut up ...so im ...
A. 29 June 2009: I'm afraid you cant try and influence her decision on where to go to uni, it has to be her choice not yours! If you put her under pressure to go with you to the same uni then she might resent you if she secretly wants to go to some other uni. Or it ... (read in full...)
Want to join a gym but I'm shy and self conscious, advice needed on how to overcome this!
Q. Dear Cupid, i've really been considering going to the gym to better my health, but the problem is that i'm pretty shy/self-conscious and i worry that if i do end up going to the gym, that people will be staring at me while working out, even tho...
A. 27 June 2009: You will find that once you get to the gym it wont be so bad. Everyone in there will be sweaty and just getting on with their work out, no-one is interested in what other people are doing!
I know that when I am at the gym I just put my headphon... (read in full...)
Is it dafe for her to come off the pill after unprotected sex?
Q. My girlfriend wants to get off her birth control pill becuase she is not happy with the weight gain that came with it. She's currently on YAZ. She's been on it for over a year and a half now. The problem is that she was planning to stop taking i...
A. 27 June 2009: Well it is her body so you have to respect what she wants, if she really believes it is the birth control that is making her put on weight then she is just going to have to stay off it for a while before she believes that it doesnt affect her ... (read in full...)
Is it dafe for her to come off the pill after unprotected sex?
Q. My girlfriend wants to get off her birth control pill becuase she is not happy with the weight gain that came with it. She's currently on YAZ. She's been on it for over a year and a half now. The problem is that she was planning to stop taking i...
A. 25 June 2009: She should continue to take the pill until it runs out not only to make sure that she cant get pregnant from any previous intercourse but also to keep her periods regular, there is no point in upsetting the rhythm her body has got into whilst on the ... (read in full...)
Do I have a right to feel frustrated at my GFs attack?
Q. Sometimes accidents happen, and I appreciate that. however, I am not sure if I am over-reacting or perhaps not the man I thought I was which is generally just your average bloke. About 9 months ago my girlfriend attacked me as I forgot to bring ho...
A. 25 June 2009: Well I believe that violence is still violence, no matter whether it is a male or female committing the crime. If you had done that to her, then the liklihood is that she would have reported you to the police for domestic abuse and you would never ... (read in full...)
He fractured my collar bone...is this likely to happen again?
Q. Hi. Well basically i have been with my boyfriend for about 7 months. We're fine, completely, the only problems we've had are his temper. He has a tendency to get extremely agitated and argumentative and often takes stuff out on me (not physical). ...
A. 24 June 2009: Well why are you speaking to another man? I know you may think that it is harmless and means nothing but normally when you start flirting and talking to another guy it means that you are unhappy in your relationship and looking for other options. So ... (read in full...)
Is sex important in a relationship?
Q. Okay let me just start this out as...I am 21 and still a virgin and would like to stay that way until I'm ready to get married. I have always promised myself I would and I'd rather do so, sex just doesn't seem important to me...I've never even ...
A. 24 June 2009: I think the anonymous reader gives an excellent answer here, it will be hard for you to take in but it is very true!
And as for that second guy who came clean and said he couldnt be more than friends with you, at least he was honest! Your first bo... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with my ex? He said he still fancies me.
Q. Ok, my ex sent me a friend request on Facebook afew weeks ago,and i added him.He also sent me a message asking how my lovelife was,if i had a boyfriend,e.t.c, and he said he would like to meet up again sometime.Afew days ago, i saw a comment from ...
A. 24 June 2009: It sounds like this guy is looking for a rebound after he has broken up with his girlfriend and you are the easy option! Sex with an ex is always easier than meeting a new person!
When he says he still fancies you it means he still wants to sleep... (read in full...)
How do I get over her and what do I do with my future?
Q. i have problems everywhere. first i needed to hand a slip in at school to get an interview for the sixth form but i didn't because the courses are just rubbish and the only thing i want to do is become a footballer or a racing driver. but if i want ...
A. 24 June 2009: Well what sort of racing driver do you want to be? F1? Or Nascar? Or any of the other series? Because if you want to be F1, then you cant go to America. They dont have F1 over there so you would be limited to Nascar, which we dont have here in the ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my sexual urges?
Q. I'm a 13-year-old girl, and as I get older, I find myself having sexual urges more and more. I've tried masturbating and I don't really enjoy it. I want to submit to my urges, but, of course, sex isn't even an option because I'm not dating and, more ...
A. 21 June 2009: Well the thing is that if you dont enjoy masturbating then you definately wont enjoy sex! Until you find a way of masturbating that you enjoy, you wont enjoy sex at all. Masturbating takes a lot of practice until you find the right way that you ... (read in full...)
Was this just a one-off occurrence?
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now, and so far we have had a perfect relationship until a few days ago. Friday it was my birthday and to make a long story short i told my boyfriend and his friends in our hotel room to be quiet b...
A. 21 June 2009: Well my initial reaction was "leave him now!" but the more I think about it the more I think you should give him a second chance. If he feels terrible about it and has never shown any signs of acting like this before then I think you should forgive ... (read in full...)
Am I a total idiot for sticking around?
Q. I've been dating this guy for 3 months and everything was great! He kept making references to being together long term and I was right there with him. Then, his pre-teen daughter was coming from overseas to see him for a month. Considering we ...
A. 21 June 2009: This does sound very odd, he should at least be responding to your texts! If I were you I would send one last message to him saying that you are not happy with the complete lack of contact and that if he were serious about you he would of at least ... (read in full...)
I've never had an issue with my body until my boyfriend started making comments about my weight!
Q. I'm 5ft8 and a size 12-14 which ive always thought is pretty normal. My bodies in proportion and ive never really had an issue with it. Until i got with my boyfriend and now am sexually active, i was before but only little flings, ive never been ...
A. 21 June 2009: This guy is a complete idiot (I thought of many stronger words but didnt feel they were appropriate for this site!). Leave him right away is all I can say, he has no right to say those things to you and is a poor excuse for a man!
It sounds l... (read in full...)
How do I get past the expectation of there being something more there?
Q. I am gay and this will sound like I am really shallow which I'm not, but anyway here goes... honestly! I have started seeing this guy who is awesome in just about every way but the downside is he has a really small penis. We've only sort of foo...
A. 21 June 2009: I dont think you are shallow at all! Or if you are shallow then that makes two of us!
I left my last boyfriend because he was just too small down there and had no idea how to use it either! He was such a lovely guy and everything I wanted in a man... (read in full...)
Am I likely to hear from him again or was he just being polite?
Q. Is he interested in me? Will he email me back? I recently met a guy I liked when he was driving a coach taking me on a school trip with some kids (Im a teacher). This was 3 days ago. He flirted a bit but wasnt english so the language was a b...
A. 21 June 2009: What I am going to say will sound a little harsh but I think you need to hear the truth here rather than being mollycoddled!
He is not interested and you are being a typical neurotic female! Who cares if you are going to hear from him again? Y... (read in full...)
I don't know how to control my anger!
Q. I have been getting really angry lately, and sometimes i just cry for no obvious reason. I have cried often before and i thought that i may be suffering from depression or that i was bipolar, but when i told my mum she just brushed it off and said ...
A. 21 June 2009: Ok it sounds to me like you have either depression or possibly an anxiety disorder and you need to see a doctor. Regardless of what your parents think, you need to get some help with this. Your showing signs of depression so the earlier you get help ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with b/f just because I'm not sure that he is "the one"?
Q. Im torn between two men, one a boyfriend of 5 years whos great but i just don't think im inlove with him, but hes such a good man and so good to me i don't think its a good idea to give him up! Then another man who im just friends with but we have ...
A. 18 June 2009: You cheated on your boyfriend which is a clear sign that you are not happy and your boyfriend is not giving you what you need. And even if you still cant decide who you want, you should do the right thing and end things with your boyfriend. He ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose him but he's seeing someone 20 years younger than him yet says he loves me!
Q. "I was with my fiance for 7.5 years, the thing is i was looking for a bit more than bf and gf." In all the time I can only ever spend the night on a saturday night even though I see him nearly every night. this year I wanted to know where we were ...
A. 18 June 2009: Well your 15 years younger than him so why does another 5 make a difference? You are being hypocritical by saying its ridiculous that she is 21 when he is 42 because you too are a lot younger than him!
From what you have said, this guy is a classi... (read in full...)
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