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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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I don't want to lose him but he's seeing someone 20 years younger than him yet says he loves me!
Q. "I was with my fiance for 7.5 years, the thing is i was looking for a bit more than bf and gf." In all the time I can only ever spend the night on a saturday night even though I see him nearly every night. this year I wanted to know where we were ...
A. 18 June 2009: Well your 15 years younger than him so why does another 5 make a difference? You are being hypocritical by saying its ridiculous that she is 21 when he is 42 because you too are a lot younger than him!
From what you have said, this guy is a classi... (read in full...)
We've never met..should we meet a theme park?
Q. Is this a bad idea? Recently I met a girl through a dating website. I think we both have a lot of things in common and our friendship has grown over the past few weeks. We arranged to meet up last week, but a couple of nights before hand she ...
A. 18 June 2009: Hmm I think it could come across as a little creepy to her. I know you have good intentions and you are thinking along the right tracks but it is a bit last minute and she might think you are following her around!
She will be there with your fri... (read in full...)
Ladies, is "friends with benefits" ever NOT an attempt to lure an unattainable guy into an exclusive relationship?
Q. I've been in a FWB before. I am being offered another one now. Let's get real. Is this ever something girls do and they're NOT just settling for it? Wouldn't they ALWAYS really rather have an exclusive relationship with that guy if he was ...
A. 17 June 2009: I think you are right about 95% of women here! The majority of girls who have a FWB either start out with feelings for the guy thinking they can turn it into something more, or even if they didnt have feelings for him at the start somewhere along ... (read in full...)
She's started ignoring me for some reason and I don't know what to do
Q. I used this website a few months ago and found everyone who answered a REALLY big help but I'm in another predicament now. Okay just to give you all a general idea of all the details, I have just finished college (messed up in my first year and h...
A. 17 June 2009: Well she knows you like her, and you have been getting closer so now my guess is that she is starting to develop feelings for you too but knows she cant have these feelings because she has a boyfriend hence she is keeping her distance from you.
... (read in full...)
Is 22in waist reasonable for a 5ft 4in, 110 pound girl?
Q. I'm 5'4" and I weigh about 110-115 on average. My measurements are 34-25-35. My butt is kind of average to flat so most of my hip measurement comes from my actual hips, not my butt. I've always had kind of big hips in comparison to the rest of my ...
A. 17 June 2009: Well if your waist went any smaller your hips would look even bigger, do you really want that?! You are already very small and I wouldnt advise you to try and make yourself any smaller, you will be risking your health by doing so.
I would follow t... (read in full...)
Is it safe skipping the pill for 7 days?
Q. Hiya, i'm on the pill at the moment and due on this weekend but i've got a big weekend planned so i don't want to be on. I've heard that you can skip the 7days of taking no pills but instead just start a new pack and start taking them again straight ...
A. 17 June 2009: I have done this before when I went away on holiday and I had no major side effects! I think basically it is safe but only if you do this once, dont make a regualr habit of it!
Your next period will be a lot heavier and you will get worse PM... (read in full...)
Hymen problems...
Q. Dear Cupid, After a bit of reasearch, i found out that i have a septate hymen, which is really rare. While i attempted sexual intercourse, i started to bleed, but my hymen didnt break at all! What does this mean, am i not a virgin? Can i not have...
A. 9 June 2009: First of all no you are not a virgin. You still had sex, even if it hurt, didnt last long, wasnt very good, your hymen didnt break.....none of this matters! The fact is that you had a penis inside your vagina, hence you lost your virginity.
I sug... (read in full...)
Is it possible to get an STI from someone who doesn't have one?
Q. Dear Cupid, Is it possible to get an STI off somone who doesnt have one?...
A. 9 June 2009: Is this a joke?!
STI means Sexually Transmitted Infection - therefore it is an infection passed on to another person through sex. Therefore if a person does not have an STI they cannot possibly pass it on to someone else! You need to be infected... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me about England?
Q. can anyone here who lives in England tell me how great a place it is to be in? ever since i met this girl from England over the internet 5 months ago, i have become fascinated over England and English girls and their accents, etc. now i find myself ...
A. 9 June 2009: Well England itself and its people are two very different things. England as a country is very beautiful, with lots of trees and greenery everywhere. There is little variation in landscape across the whole country - from north to south it is pretty ... (read in full...)
Am I stilla virgin? How do I know if my hymen broke?
Q. Dear Cupid, I had vaginal sex a good few months ago but it did not go so well, i started to bleed heavily but i stopped after a few minutes. Iv been afraid to try it since. Am i still a virgin since it only lasted less than a minute? And how ...
A. 9 June 2009: You had pentrative sex therefore you are no longer a virgin I'm afraid. It does not matter about the duration of intercourse, or how good it was for you - basically if a penis was inside your vagina then you have had sex and are not a virgin.
... (read in full...)
Purpose of the pill and is it wise to take it?
Q. Good day, just a quick one.... I would like to know What the purpose of the pill actually is. What is it made of? And is it really so wise to use? I tell you why, i know one of the main reasons are for birth control and so, but can it really help ...
A. 8 June 2009: The pill is 100% safe and hardly interferes with your body, it has minimal side effects and is purely to stop you getting pregnant. It does not stop the spread of STD's therefore if you are having regular sex you need to still use condoms to prevent ... (read in full...)
Want to lose some weight quickly, any healthy suggestions?
Q. help! i've started eating really healthy and exercising is there anyway i can lose 3 stone in 3 months it's really important as i'm starting college soon and need that extra confidence boost, i've been eating healthy in moderation but now i'm thin...
A. 4 June 2009: Ok thats a pretty unrealistic target and if you do manage to lose 3 stone in 3 months then I guarantee you will put it all back on within 6 months, maybe even double the amount.
The best way to lose weight is slowly and steadily, around 1-2lbs a... (read in full...)
Liquid or powder foundation?
Q. hi, i was just wondering, erm which is the best foundation to use, liquid or powder? I want to get that 'airburshed' look, i have never tried liquid before and powder has a reputation just to go orange. But is liquid foundation bad for your skin or ...
A. 31 May 2009: I would alaways go for liquid, it gives a much more even coverage and covers any blemishes and imperfections. Try not to go for a dark colour, always go for one that looks a little too pale. It is better to have a paler foundation and use a little ... (read in full...)
Does this mean that I am pregnant?
Q. what are the early signs of pregnancy? i felt very sick and run down a few hours after i had sex and went to be sick a few times but nothing came up. i also had stomach cramps a day later. does this mean that i am pregnant?...
A. 31 May 2009: You dont get any signs of pregnancy until you are at least 1 month pregnant, therefore whatever you have been feeling today is not due to pregnancy.
You dont even mention if you had unprotected sex or not?! If you had sex without a condom then you... (read in full...)
One week on the pill - had unprotected sex during period
Q. So earlier today i had unprotected sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated in me. I've been on microgynon 30 for a week today and so far have taken 7 pills in a row religiously at 4:50pm (when i took my first pill last friday). It's only 10am ...
A. 29 May 2009: I'm confused - why are you taking the pill whilst on a period? And why would you have sex whilst on your period? Thats just gross!
Normally with microgynon you should take the pill for 21 days then have a 7 day break, when your period arrives.... (read in full...)
Will being "loose" down there affect married life?
Q. i am 30 years unmarried female, i have never been into any relationship before, but i am doing masturbation from last 6 years due to which i think my vagina is loose, now i am getting married soon will my husband notice it, and will it effect on ...
A. 29 May 2009: Why would your vagina be loose if you have not had sex for 3 years?! What the hell have you been masturbating with?
If you have only been masturbating with your hands, then your vagina will not be loose at all. If you have been masturba... (read in full...)
In my mind I feel I am pregnant but I'm not really sure!
Q. Hello...i have a question about whether or not i could be pregnant....I have had unprotected sex several times in this month of may. I usually tend to have irregular periods. I began my period of May 20 in which was the same day I also had had sex. ...
A. 29 May 2009: Why were you having unprotected sex? Are you trying to get pregnant?
If you had a period then it is unlikely you are pregnant however there is still a chance you could be pregnant. I suggest waiting another 2 weeks and then take another test.
... (read in full...)
I'm involved with my boyfriend, flirt with another guy I like, and make out with a girl who has a crush on me, drugs, bad grades and booze are my vices, help?
Q. Im just a complete waster. I do my A levels, got predicted and got good grades last year, now i'm in my final year about to leave for uni and have done nothing but drink and take drugs to the point where i just cannot be bothered with my a levels ...
A. 29 May 2009: Well done for admitting all of this, the first step to sorting all this out is admitting to yourself that you are making a mess of things and you want it to stop! But you need to realise that sorting things out will be tough and you are going to ... (read in full...)
Really need some exercise tips, for specific results?
Q. With summer only weeks away im wanting to tone up and lose the fat around my thighs, as well as toning my bum, making it look 'lifted' as if fuller, but im not sure what would be the best way to achieve this?? I eat normally quite healthy, but to be ...
A. 29 May 2009: Its a shame going to the gym isnt an option for you - I have managed to really tone up my legs and bum through a couple of machines at the gym - the stepper and doing weights with my legs. I have lost inches from doing this, and the stepper is ... (read in full...)
Confused about women's bodies and sex!
Q. Hi Dear Members? I am 25 years, I have lot of confusion about women body and their sex organs. because I don't have sex yet. so, can you pls tell me What is hymen? is this releted with menstruation? is it true that every girls have bleed i...
A. 28 May 2009: Icelordess has pretty much said everything that needs to be said on the subject! The hymen is not related to menstruation. Menstruation is the female cycle where 1 egg is released each month and travels down the fallopian tubes and into the womb. ... (read in full...)
Worried about getting braces!
Q. Sorry if this is really long and bores you but I really need some advice. I've had a lisp since I've first learned how to talk, well it isn't a lisp it's with my t's and d's and I use the roof of my mouth to say them and not the back of my teeth but ...
A. 28 May 2009: Well think of it this way, who will want a girl aged 21 with terrible teeth? You have plenty of time for boyfriends, so it is best to get your teeth sorted now so they look great in a couple of years time rather than leaving them to get worse!
... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. He is my first boyfriend. I am also a virgin. So I've always said I would not have sex until I was married. But more and more, it's getting harder between my boyfriend and I. Today, we were ...
A. 28 May 2009: Well I'm not sure how he could have penetrated you with his boxers on?
But either way if his penis went inside your vagina, regardless of how far in it went, then no you are not a virgin anymore. Just because you didnt orgasm doesnt mean that you... (read in full...)
Diet & exercise tips for 6 pack abs?
Q. Ok, im 14 and can not find anything that sounds convincing or is true on building ab muscle. I want to get a 6pack (not to big, just a nice mild look on the skin cerface). I heard that a good diet helps.. can somebody please share any d...
A. 28 May 2009: Is that diet you mentioned ALL you are thinking of eating?! If so, you are not eating enough!!!! You need to eat way more than that to build muscle and to be healthy - at your age if you starve yourself like that then you will end up damaging your ... (read in full...)
Am I overweight for my age?
Q. This isn't really a relationship question but this is the only place I can turn to, to get some advice. Idk what all information you need to tell me what I need to know but I'll just tell you everything about my body. I'm 13 years old, about 5'2, my ...
A. 28 May 2009: If you weigh 120lbs then no you are not overweight - your BMI (body mass index) is around 21 which is fine, the healthy range for BMI is 18-25. So you can even put on a little more weight and still be healthy! Just maintain the weight you are now, ... (read in full...)
Girls, would you be attracted to an average looking guy with a nice body?
Q. I recently signed up to my local gym, and im looking forward to working out and getting "ripped", i dont want huge muscles but i want to be defined and have a flat chest/stomach, and strong arms. My question is to all the girls and i want a com...
A. 28 May 2009: Well me personally, I dont like guys that look like they have spent too long in the gym and I think a little belly on a guy can be quite cute! My normal type is a guy who is over 6ft and fairly slim, some muscle tone/definition is good but no girl ... (read in full...)
Should I take another pill after having unprotected sex?
Q. hellpp! last night i had unprotected sex with my boyfriend..however, im on the pill, and tuesday (yesterday) i took my last pill. so today i stopped for the 7 day break (if your familiar with how the pill works.) should take an extra pill today...
A. 27 May 2009: Well it is not possible to have unprotected sex when you are on the pill! The pill is a form of protection (only against pregnancy not STD's). So if you have been taking your pill for the last 21 days without missing any and without being sick etc ... (read in full...)
Ladies, do you prefer pubic hair on your guys or not?
Q. hey, I've been seeing a girl for about a month now, we've decided to move things on a bit and starting to do sexual stuff. Do girls prefer a guy with a bit of hair or not? I've not done anything before and do not want to be embarrised by my ...
A. 26 May 2009: I would agree with the majority of the girls on here....keep the hair but have it nice and trimmed! No hair just looks weird and will probably put her off, but too much hair looks pretty damn scary too!
So just keep it neat and tidy, dont tak... (read in full...)
Does feeling a "real" penis make the difference???
Q. My partner's stopped wearing a condom because we want to start a family. The third time we had intercourse this way I experienced my 1st ever orgasm - it was unmistakable and I really had to cry out with the pleasure. I was just wondering whethe...
A. 22 May 2009: I always find that I can only orgasm without condoms, with them just feels unnatural and wrong! But obviously they are necessary to prevent STI's so not brilliant for me that I cant orgasm when the guy is wearing one!
So no, definately not a co... (read in full...)
My wife's affair!
Q. I'm a 48-year-old man, my wife's 46, and we've been married for 21 years. Yesterday I found out that my wife has been having an affair. A very close friend of mine who works as a delivery driver ("white van man" to us British people!) said he...
A. 22 May 2009: It doesnt sound like you can trust her if she goes off on a so called holiday with friends without even telling you before she goes! That sort of behaviour is very unusual - has she done this before? I cant understand how someone in a marriage would ... (read in full...)
How do I get an STD test without offending my boyfriend?
Q. how do I get an STD test without offending my boyfriend? thing is we have both been unfaithful but in the way I was I couldn't have got anything and I was tested in the beginning of my relationship and nothing bad came back. now I'm really scared ...
A. 22 May 2009: Well if your boyfriend always wants to know where you are going and he has cheated on you then he doesnt sound like a great guy to be honest!
If you really cannot make up some beliveable excuse which will explain your whereabouts for an hour the... (read in full...)
Is being kissed when you didnt want to be cheating?
Q. Cutting a long story short, i was in a strip club on a stag do recently when a stripper kissed me on the mouth. It was for no longer than 2 or 3 seconds maximum (and probably less). She didn't put her tounge in my mouth and i certainly did not kiss ...
A. 22 May 2009: It definately isnt cheating and I'm sure your girlfriend wont see it as cheating. You cannot help it that this woman kissed you and if it only lasted a couple of second well it wasnt even much of a kiss!
You clearly love your girlfriend and have... (read in full...)
I sabotaged her dreams of modelling 8 years ago....am I to blame for the way her life has turned out?
Q. Morning all. I did an awful thing a few years back and now im not sure if im to blame for her future.. About 8 years ago when i was in high school i had this friend Vikki-when i say friend she used to hang around with me because i was the...
A. 22 May 2009: Well what you did was very mean and pretty harsh, and you clearly did hamper her chances of becoming a model. But just as Emilysanswers says, she didnt have to give up so easily and you are in no way responsible for her attitude. You will never know ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with someone I've never even spoken to! :(
Q. hi, well bassicaly this is quite funny! but i swear im in love with someone ive never even spooken to!,its getting so bad i cant stop thinking about this boy 3 and the thing is i dont know if he likes me too but someway i think he does kinda, as ...
A. 22 May 2009: This is quite sweet, you are not in love this is just a crush! And if you think this is what love is, well your in for a big shock when you do actually fall in love with someone for real!
What you are feeling is a strong attraction to him, com... (read in full...)
He reads his e-mails! What does this mean?
Q. I split up with my ex, he dumped me, very ugly terms ( he is a mummy's boy who used to badmouth his mum to me, led me on for years, and I bursted it all out to his mum, to find out from her he was badmouthing me to HER as well!) anyway, long ugly ...
A. 22 May 2009: I agree with Other Starfish, do you want this guy back or not? It is very simple - I know there are probably reasons for both but you need to make your decision. It seems to me that you do want him back because you are trying to see what he is up to ... (read in full...)
How to make something good out of my terrible grades?
Q. this isnt relationship. But im desperate for a job now! i left school a year ago, and then did a year at 6form but its shocking. basicly im half way through my CV, and i have absolutly no idea what to put! i got shit grades basicly. i got D's and ...
A. 22 May 2009: Well I'm not sure if your grades you mentioned are at GCSE or A Level (AS Level if you only managed a year). If you got D's and E's at GCSE then you really will struggle, you need at least a C in maths and english to get any sort of job. So if you ... (read in full...)
My guy is going on a boys holiday and I need to know how I can get myself to trust him.
Q. I have major trust issues! I've been with my boyfriend now for about 4 months and i love him very much. i don't think he has ever cheated on me and have no reason to believe he will. however he is going on a boys holiday next month and i'm finding ...
A. 22 May 2009: Boys holidays are difficult - I have one friend who has banned her boyfriend from going on anymore boys holidays because all his mates cheat on their girlfriends while they are out there!
But this is not the answer, my friend is massivel... (read in full...)
At 30 I'm heading into a serious mid-life crisis
Q. Lately I have been so sad, because I'm afraid that I'm running out of time to do all the things I wanted to in life. I'm at an age where I'm running out of time if I want to have children, and I realize I'm in the wrong career, and I am so scared ...
A. 22 May 2009: If you are worried about the biological clock element of this then why not think about getting some eggs frozen? This would give you a bit more time and give you the reassurance of a back-up plan when you get to the stage of having children.
I pre... (read in full...)
1st cousin sex forbidden?
Q. i'm catholic and want to know if having sex with 1st cousin is forbidden to have sex with 1st cousin....
A. 22 May 2009: Yes having sex with your cousin is illegal... (read in full...)
Emergency contraception! Please Help!!!!
Q. emergency!!!!!!!!!!!! please help this is really urgent. im 15 and i had sex for the second time with my boyfriend about 2 hours ago. However he pulled out of me and the condom wasnt on him we found it just at the opening of me and the tip wa...
A. 21 May 2009: This is the advice on the NHS website:
There is a risk you could become pregnant but taking the emergency contraceptive pill can prevent an unwanted pregnancy.
The emergency contraceptive pill is most effective if it's taken within 24 hours ... (read in full...)
He didn't try to kiss me at the end of our date... why?
Q. I went on a blind date with a guy last night. We're both in our mid 20s. The date seemed to go pretty well. We talked and laughed, not really any awkward silences. It wasn't the best date I've been on, but it was fun and I would definitely go out ...
A. 21 May 2009: I understand it may seem a little weird but you shouldnt worry, he has already text you and asked to make plans with you again so you can be certain that he likes you! No guy would bother getting in touch with you and asking you out again if he ... (read in full...)
Asked by my lover to visit him in Turkey....is it safe to go?
Q. I am American Black female who is in Love with a Turkish Man. We meet while working together, he was on a visa working in the States for a year. He has invited me to come and visit Turkey. I have never left home and would like to know if it is safe ...
A. 21 May 2009: Well you claim to be in love with this man therefore why would it be unsafe to be with him? You are the only one who has met him, knows his character and trusts him. Therefore you are the only one who can know if it is safe to be with him. It should ... (read in full...)
Asked by my lover to visit him in Turkey....is it safe to go?
Q. I am American Black female who is in Love with a Turkish Man. We meet while working together, he was on a visa working in the States for a year. He has invited me to come and visit Turkey. I have never left home and would like to know if it is safe ...
A. 21 May 2009: Well to my knowledge Turkey is a fairly safe place, I cant see why you would have any issues. There are always risks to travelling but you cant spend the rest of your life without seeing the world just because you are scared of leaving home!
Make ... (read in full...)
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