A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know it is several years too soon but there are things I think about almost constantly. I am a freshman in HS and have never had a boyfriend but when that time comes and I am willing to have sex does the BF remove some of my clothes or should I? I hope that I will be somewhat inviting but yet not too eager. If he is also inexperienced will he be familiar with the items of under clothing I may be wearing? I would not want him to be shocked if he is not familiar with girl's stuff. After reading this I am not really sure I have asked the right questions. Perhaps some fellows will relate their early experiences and were they surprised.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): there is no right or wrong way when it comes to who removes what. just go with the flow you will know what feels right. when it came to my first time we took our own clothes off which i regret cos i now wish i had taken some of her clothes off so i could use that time to caress her body.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (24 March 2009):
 Well going on my early experiences, there was no real memory of the undressing part....it all just seemed to happen pretty quickly. I had been with my boyfriend for 6 months before we both decided it was the right time to have sex, and both of us were virgins. While we didnt really know what we were doing and we were both nervous, it felt right because we loved each other (and we were safe too - I was on birth control and we used a condom).
We had been experimenting for a few months prior to having sex (all the usual foreplay types of things) and this helped to make us feel more comfortable with each other and get to know each other's bodies better. He got lots of practice at unhooking my bra during that time and I got lots of practice taking his trousers off!
It is not something to worry about, when the time comes for you to have sex, you and your boyfriend will feel that comfortable around each other that there will be no akwardness or fumbling, and if there is you will (hopefully) love each other enough to be able to laugh it off. If you make sure your first time is with the right person then you dont remember the akward parts of sex, you just remember how special it was and how close you feel afterwards. Sex comes naturally when it is right for both people involved - so as long as you are with a special guy and he feels the same for you, then it will be fine.
It sounds like you know you need to wait a few more years and it is refreshing to hear from someone your age that isnt desperate to jump into bed with any boy they can find! Just stay sensible, stay safe and make sure that the guy you lose your virginity to deserves to have you.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, guppypig +, writes (24 March 2009):
While curiosity is natural, you really shouldn't waste too much time worrying. You're smart enough not to have a boyfriend now, and hopefully you will continue to be that smart for a few more years.To answer your questions, though, there are no rules on removing clothing. Even if he's inexperienced, your boyfriend will probably have seen a lingerie catalog and will know what to expect.
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A
male
reader, answeringmachine +, writes (24 March 2009):
I'm glad you realize that it is still pretty early on to be thinking about seriously doing that stuff. And I hope you remember that when you do do it, that you should use protection. Anyway, there's no real 'right way' to have sex, I mean, you do what feels right and just go with the flow of things. I don't think I was really surprised by anything my first time, if that helps. If you need anything else you are welcome to message me because I'm not really entirely sure what you were asking, sorry.
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