A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I lost my job to the recession and credit crunch in September and I have been unable to land another job. I've applied for hundreds of jobs. I've had one interview and the rest never bother getting back to me. I even tried to get a job at a place I worked at (for five years) before I left to try something new. My old boss there told one of the directors not to hire me because I was no good at the job! I won an internal award while I was there so how can I be no good at the job??!!!! I can't take it anymore. I'm a useless waste of space and my fiancee would be better off without me. She's tried to get me a job at her place of employment but they wouldn't have me either. I have excellent grades, qualifications and experience, why won't anyone take me? My fiancee says that I'm not a waste of space but I know I am. I just want to disappear for good! What's the point?
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male
reader, MauiKahuna  +, writes (1 September 2009):
First of all that's awesome that she's standing by you. STOP DENYING YOUR GREATNESS. Stop feeding in to the economy bulls***! You can create your own economy. Walk with confidence and be open minded. There is a great job out there for you. Be confident and patient. You even have a supportive fiance! You've got it made! Look at all the great things in your life, enjoy them and seriously treat your fiance really really good!! Also don't tie your personal worth to a job. It's there to make money not to feed your ego and make you feel confident. BE confident. It will come sooner than you think when you let go.
A
male
reader, previasc96 +, writes (23 March 2009):
You think you are worthless because you have no purpose in life. YOu have nothing to live for, but to work, so now that you have no job, you feel like crap. You need to figure out what else you want out of life besides a damn pay check!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (23 March 2009):
 You have to understand that your situation, just like millions of other people's situations around the world, are down to the recession and until the economy picks up again, you may have to accept that there is not a lot you can do.
If you have good grades and experience then clearly you are a successful person hence you are not a waste of space! Even if you cannot think of anything good about yourself, you need to realise that your fiancee loves you and needs you in her life....she can find some good in you so you need to do the same!
I suggest you write a list of all your skills and qualifications. You may have been working in a sector that is prone to redundancies during an economic downturn e.g. retail, construction, automotive etc. You need to look at all the skills and qaulifications you have, and then try and see how they could be used in a different sector e.g. the public sector, creative etc. I'm sure you will be computer literate, have some admin skills etc so therefore at the very minimum you will be able to apply for admin jobs (there are still lots of these around I promise!).
You need to lower your job expectations here - if you have applied for so many positions then clearly your strategy isnt working. Stop looking for the same job as you used to have, or similar positions. Look lower down the ladder - while taking a step down isnt ideal, a job is a job at the moment. Lower your salary expectations, and your career expectations for the time being and focus on getting ANY job. Even if it is bar work, working in a supermarket, anything is better than nothing. Just remember this is temporary until the economy recovers and that should help you when you are applying for these jobs.
I know it is hard at the moment, and you may feel like you have failed as a man by not being able to provide for your fiancee. But now you need to be a real man - either you can lay down at home on the sofa all day and be miserable, or you can get out there and start making things happen for yourself.
Take on unpaid work experience - this will keep you busy and also boost your experience to go on your CV. this could also lead to a job at the end of it if you impress them enough! If you dont fancy this, then try volunteering at local animal rescue centres or local charities, they always need more help and this will be something that makes you feel really good as a person. You will be giving something back to the community whilst making yourself feel better too, and it also looks good on the CV!
Dont give up on life, tough situations like this make you a stronger and better person. Dont sit around doing nothing, this will only make you feel worse. Keep on applying for jobs, do some volunteering or work experience and you will keep yourself busy. If you keep on trying, eventually you will get a job, but only if you believe in yourself. feeling worthless and useless will only hinder your chances at getting a job as it comes across in the way you write, and the way you speak.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (23 March 2009):
 That's right, the current credit crunch is not your fault. What we can do as the ordinary working person is to try our hardest to regain our rightful place in the job-force.
You said you have applied for hundreds of positions, and that alone is proof that you are an honorable person.
The next step, is another "test" in your integrity as an honorable member of the society. And that is, whether or not you are willing to take on a job that you are way overqualified for.
Lets say, you were an engineer before, or an accountant. If you are now offered a job as a postman, or a garbage man, or a bus driver, would you take it? Is it demeaning? Only to your ego perhaps. Does it bring money to the table? Yes, thus [if you are living with your fiance] you are on the same par as your fiance.
Please don't listen to the negative things people say. Some career moves may require sacrifices every now and then. It may require you to take a step down, or a step sideways.
We never never know what doors are open when you step down or step sideways. Who knows, these doors may even be better than you will have if you had stayed in the other office, as I discovered some years ago.
Good luck, and please keep your spirits up! [but not of the alcohol kind]
Cat
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 March 2009):
Men are far more affected by job loss than women and the NHS has been ramping up it's budget for mental health because what you are feeling is completely the normal reaction for someone in your position.
What you are feeling is depression.
You need to understand that these feelings aren't real. They are too much of one chemical and a lack of another in your brain.
So, to fight it using home remedies:
1. Get some exercise. If you are at home all day then clean your house, go for a run, repaint the ceiling, fill your time with PHYSICAL activity. That will stimulate the production of hormones that make you feel good.
2. Eat healthily. Coffee, alcohol, and general crappy foods can put stuff in your blood stream that will make you feel worse. Go and buy something that you've never tried before from the veg shop and just try and eat right.
3. Have a good laugh. Watch a family guy box set or some other comedy. Laughing is the ANTI-depression when it comes to chemical stimulation.
4. Accept that this is not real. You will get another job, your fiance wants you for YOU and not your money making abilities. She will be getting very upset with all this talk of wanting to disappear. Man up, deal with it, get a stiff upper lip and stop being a moaning teenager. Yes this is not your fault and is an illness in exactly the same way as a cold, but you need to FIGHT IT. Give yourself a kick up the arse when you start feeling like you want to listen to Cradle of Filth / put eyeliner on.
If you feel any worse or get feelings of wanting to harm yourself then get down to see the doc. Yes you won't want to but TOUGH.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, audie  +, writes (23 March 2009):
 don't even think like that. its not yuor fault that there's a recession. ther are so many people going through the same thing. the important thing is that you r trying and if you keep at it i know God will smile down on you and something will come up. hold on things will get better. you have a sensible woman in your life i suggest you listen to her. if you were such a big failure i dont think she'd still b around,do u?
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A
female
reader, desirewhitefire  +, writes (23 March 2009):
 As long as you're trying, it's all that matters. My husband quit his job back in October, and since then he hasn't even tried to find a new job. I wouldn't think he's such a bastard if he at least tried.
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