A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so this guy who I've liked for a really long time told me he doesn't want a relationship with me. He recently broke up with his girlfriend of 8 months and since then, we've been getting closer and closer together. A few weeks ago, we ended up sleeping together and it was lovely. I really care a lot about this guy and I thought I meant a lot to him too, but then out of the blue, he told me he didn't want a relationship with me, despite thinking I'm "gorgeous". It broke my heart to hear that. I don't know what I should do... Does he just need time, or will I never mean as much to him as he does to me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2012): The best thing you can do is not see him again. You are young and why should you put up with shabby treatment. Don't wait around for a guy who has told you he doesn't want to go out with you. Learn a lesson here - which will stand you in good stead. Have respect for yourself, don't give of yourself until you know someone wants to see you in an ongoing way and don't hang around for someone who is luke warm about you.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (1 May 2012):
 Janniepeg is absolutely right. You should always be sure of the situation, and make sure you both have the same idea of what your relationship entails before sleeping with someone. Apparently he wanted something casual, perhaps he was rebounding a bit. You should begin moving on - definitely don't wait around for something that may not happen!! You are better than that, and deserve someone who can give you the relationship that you deserve.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, kaiti30 +, writes (1 May 2012):
 Well, you could tell him how you feel, see if that will work? bring him to relise once youve have sex, youve shared the most intimate part of yourself.. but if hes acting like this, he isnt worth it, he probably wants you to beat yourself up, it sounds like hes "one of those guys" keep your head up! youll never know if he needs time or not, its just one of those things :/
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 April 2012):
 Stop thinking about him. He is not considerate with your time, so he is not worth your time. You have to be sure you both want the same things before sleeping with someone.
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A
male
reader, Confused36M +, writes (30 April 2012):
Don't worry it's not about you... I've been in this situation recently, actually it was the same scenario. Me and the girl had great chemistry. But I had recently gotten out of a long relationship. Two factors ledme to tell her that I didn't want to be in a relatioship.1. I had put so much time and work into my last relationship, I didn't feel like I could give this girl what she deserved just yet, so I needed more time before I could be in something serious.2. Just getting out a relationship caused me to want to explore my options a bit. (This did not mean I wanted to screw around.) Only that it was a good time to make new friends, and learn more about myself.Even though I explained this to her she felt like I was saying I didn't want to be in a relationship with her... So just give him the time he needs.. Try to go back to being friends, and continue to spend time together. But be patient.
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