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*anniepeg

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I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.

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Be the Puppet MASTER

Q. It does feel good to be working like I’m IN CONTROL. It’s nice to be the puppet master and not the other way around. The key is CONFIDENCE. Something I ALWAYS thought I had.. till I got tangled with a man. Yes.. a man… how could I let a man let me ...

A. 7 June 2012: I read Bonnie Eaker Weil's book, make up don't break up, and she talks about the few categories of men who fall into. The ones that are committed, the ones that who need to be conditioned and taught, and lastly the incorrigible ones that you have to ... (read in full...)

Be the Puppet MASTER

A. 6 June 2012: I don't think you need to communicate with a man that you would like a birthday present. Too lazy to buy a present? He's just a plain jerk. When a man does something unacceptable, you dump them, you don't tolerate them, give them a taste of their ... (read in full...)

Be the Puppet MASTER

A. 6 June 2012: From reading the article no one could tell you had been broken or hurt. It just sounds like one of those popular relationship advice. Be cool, don't get emotional, be unpredictable, be the fantasy woman, etc. It sounds like you are in control and ... (read in full...)

Be the Puppet MASTER

A. 5 June 2012: All three of us, Cerberus, So very confused, and me are really experienced. We've all been players and had been played before. We are all sick of games that's why we say no more of them. You though, I think you have never been with anyone real.... (read in full...)

I left my ex, and now I regret it. How can I win her back?

Q. I have been single for the last couple of years now and my ex girlfriend from 7 years ago is now also single again (we are godparents to our friends children and are both best friends with the couple, that's how I know). Our relationship lasted ...

A. 4 June 2012: Willing to be friends is a good start. Don't wait until February though. I thought godparents are more involved than just birthdays. Be the best friend you could be at the same time don't think she is the only woman who's suitable for you. Do all ... (read in full...)

It started with facebook and went downhill from there ....

Q. I'm with my bf (42) now for 1 year and a half - we have a beautiful 8 month old son together. He used to be married - is divorced twice. He is still friends with ex wife 1 (married 2 years) but not ex wife 2 (married 2 years). He appears to be over ...

A. 4 June 2012: I can tell you that he will be playing hot and cold as long as you let him. He will be hot when he senses that he will lose you forever, and cold when you ask for a stronger commitment. Anything would be an excuse why he can't commit and when you ... (read in full...)

Be the Puppet MASTER

A. 4 June 2012: I'd rather be single than to play the game, always measuring which cup is fuller. There are men who have lots to give without asking much from return. I think ignoring a heartless man would protect you in the meanwhile, it is no guarantee that he ... (read in full...)

Is this girl just messing me about?

Q. I went out to a movie with this girl who I thought had been giving me signals that she liked me for a few weeks by: complimenting my clothes a lot, smiling and making eye contact a lot. So we saw the movie a few weeks ago and had a good time, got...

A. 4 June 2012: I would say she is not interested and is letting you down gently. She would only be messing you if she promises there is a next time and stands you up. One of the hardest things to do is to tell a person they don't like you enough to continue dating ... (read in full...)

should I just bow down to him and let him call all the shots??

Q. Not sure what to think. Open to suggestion, but please no harsh comments. presently my husband is working and I am not. He says I do not show him any respect. I differ. I am at home with the kids all day (while sending out resumes and arranging ...

A. 4 June 2012: It's not about right or wrong. I do see that being a housewife is a full time job. Your parents know that you are working hard. They want to let you know that complaining is not going to do any good. It would only push your husband away, making him ... (read in full...)

Fiance broke things off saying there's a 75% chance he'll come back. Is that good?

Q. Danny and I made a year May 27 and have been engaged almost a year. Tuesday he said he wanted to marry me and was in love with me and wasn't changing his mind. The wedding date was June 16. Well Wednesday he woke up to a small argument between my ...

A. 4 June 2012: There is a huge difference between needing space and calling off the wedding. I don't know anyone getting bored one month before the wedding. People would be frantically doing last minute additions, helping out, and giving spouses support. ... (read in full...)

I worry he might leave me if I don't give him my money.

Q. Dear cupid My bf has some money problems and he asked me to pay few bills of his. I didn't have that much money myself at that time, hence i told him to wait till my next pay check. We are constantly arguing for the past few days. He never ...

A. 4 June 2012: He is angry because he is greedy and he wants everything to himself but can't wait. The world owes him. It's everybody's fault that he can't spend on a 50 dollar entree, get 5 cars and go on a vacation right now. It's just too bad you can't see how ... (read in full...)

Now I'm the one heartbroken and chasing this guy when I didn't even want a serious relationship in the first place

Q. I posted a personals ad a while back just looking for someone to hang out with. I wasn't really looking for anything serious. I met a man an he seemed cool but he stressed to me over and over that he was looking for something serious eventually. I ...

A. 4 June 2012: He's manipulative. His only intention is to break women's spirits, to make them submit and bend to his will. He does that by making you feel that when he's losing your interest, it's all your fault. When there are relationship problems, it's all ... (read in full...)

I don't like boyfriend's arrangements if he should die

Q. Dear Cupid, I'm in my 50's, my husband passed away 10 years ago, since then I've dated but never found the right man. I recently began a relationship with a man a couple yrs older, I knew him for years. He made it clear that he would never marr...

A. 3 June 2012: I don't have to worry about money at all in my life, still I won't date this man, even if his kids are willing to give me money when I get old. He can get himself a roommate. It could be how he was conned by women before but he shouldn't treat every ... (read in full...)

Fiance broke things off saying there's a 75% chance he'll come back. Is that good?

A. 3 June 2012: When you decide to marry someone, your heart should be 100% in it or you are out. I don't know if he is telling his friend on purpose so that you would hear it. The number does not make sense. He made the number high enough so that he doesn't look ... (read in full...)

I'm not sure when or why my feelings toward my B/f may have changed. Does it mean I am with the wrong guy? Am I stringing him along?

Q. I am in a dilemma about my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been dating for over a year now and we get on well, but there are occasional times when I feel I have to 'tolerate' him. When we started out, I was really into him thus kissing and ...

A. 2 June 2012: You lost respect for him when he changed his old habits in order to please you. You feel that a real man won't do that, and would be more like "take me or leave me." It could also be that the infatuation period ended so you have to put more effort ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for women to only like one night stands?

Q. Hi Just after some opinions really. I know we hear a lot about blokes liking one night stands then losing interest, but I seem to be the female equivilant. I am so happy in my life right now in all ways, and I love being single. Yet I also love ...

A. 2 June 2012: I believe it can be normal that we want certain things in different periods of life. We don't always have to want a serious long term relationship. You feel bothered because you don't want to get tied down as a sexual partner to either one. I enjo... (read in full...)

Is he nervous or just not interested?

Q. Hello, So I went on my second date with a guy I previously dated a couple years back. We had an great connection before, and great chemistry. We kept in contact over the years and when we dated before I wanted "more" and he didn't. We kept ...

A. 2 June 2012: The second time it is different because he is aware of your needs and doesn't want to give you false hopes. Of course the attraction is still there but he can't be carefree anymore. It all goes around in a circle and one day you'll come back with ... (read in full...)

Lady parts are in pain, could I have caught something from oral sex?

Q. I had sex last week twice with a guy I am seeing. We used condoms apart from when we done oral. This week I am in a lot of pain down below I think it's probably thrush but I am a bit worried that I have caught an sti through oral sex though I don't ...

A. 2 June 2012: It could be you are allergic to that kind of condom. Condoms are not 100% save. You might have got something when he went down on you. You should get it checked out at the clinic.... (read in full...)

Risk my heart for passion? Or not have passion but have stability?

Q. "John" is the father of my four year old daughter. He hasn't seen her in four years. My choice, because I don't like his lifestyle. He's a player, has to be out every single night, and my daughter is only one of three of his kids, all with ...

A. 2 June 2012: You are willing to take a horrible person back but yet you broke up with a vulnerable guy and broke his heart. It takes two whole hearted people to create passion. When you leave room for your ex you can't totally devote your heart to George so don'... (read in full...)

NOT in love with him, do it for the sake of two little ones

Q. I have been with my significant other for three and a half years now, we have a two year old and one on the way. I have never been in love with him, it was definitely infatuation and loneliness in the beginning. We have split up several times ...

A. 1 June 2012: What would make you feel connected to a man? Does your partner have career goals, eg. would he go take classes to advance his skills to make more money? Or is he refusing to listen to you? Can you talk to him in a way that's suggestive, rather than ... (read in full...)

My ex told me I could either tell the guy myself or he would send the picture.

Q. So I made a horrible decision to have intercourse with my ex...for the last time like 3 days ago..after I met a new guy. My ex was stupid and took pictures of me. He then later found out that I was talking to this new guy. So now he said he's going ...

A. 1 June 2012: If you are really 16-17, your ex is in possession of child pornography. Consult a lawyer what to do if he really sends it to the guy. The guy who gladly accepts the picture is stupid and is putting himself in serious trouble too. I agree, don't get ... (read in full...)

How to explain lack of relationship experience?

Q. 30-year-old male who, due to many factors, has been pretty far behind the curve when it comes to relationships and sex. I didn't date in any form for most of my 20s due to personal issues. I've managed to turn things around a bit these past two ...

A. 1 June 2012: I do understand your concern. There are women on this site thinking that a 30 year old man with no prior relationships as a red flag. I don't think dating requires much social skills. Though I am aware that it is tougher on men because they have... (read in full...)

Getting over a girlfriend's sexual past

Q. Hello, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 4 months now, im 19 and she is 21, I live in a small town and she has had sex with a lot of people I know in the past, I accept this as I do live in a small town, anyway I only found out ...

A. 1 June 2012: She was doing anal with him to keep him from straying. Maybe he said something like "if you don't do anal I am going to find someone who would. Love was blind for her and she didn't realize she was chasing something that wasn't real, a relationship ... (read in full...)

Have I got a problem with commitment?

Q. I was in a terrible relationship which ended years ago. It was traumatic but I thought I had moved on. Since then I've dated lots of people. I've always said "yes" to any date just to spread my net wide and make sure I don't turn into a recluse b...

A. 30 May 2012: Oh, now you feel more guilt because he is already a depressed person. You don't have a problem with commitment. You have problems finding quality guys. He belongs to the walking wounded category. Surely there are healthier guys who can commit and ... (read in full...)

Do I take a risk and do what he is asking me to do? Or do I follow my head and my heart and not move in for a while longer?

Q. Hey, I'd love some advice on how to approach the issue of 'progressing' in a relationship with my bf. He's nagging me to move in with him, and I don't want to yet. We've been together 20 months, and have been pretty happy the whole way through ...

A. 30 May 2012: He is emotionally blackmailing you. It is senseless to move in with him when you suspect you won't be compatible together, and you think he will be sexting other girls. He wants you to move in because it's easy access to sex, he saves some money. ... (read in full...)

I'm wondering if he will ever forgive me?

Q. So I have been dating this amazing guy for 5 months and about a month ago things started getting rough. He said work was super stressful and he didn't have any time anymore. I tried really hard to respect him and give him his space but it got to ...

A. 30 May 2012: You didn't do anything terribly wrong. You were trying to know the truth from a third party because your supposedly ex boyfriend was too busy to text you. He was the one who broke your trust because he told you he had no time yet he had time for his ... (read in full...)

Have I got a problem with commitment?

A. 30 May 2012: No I don't think you have a problem with commitment. You have dated a lot of people by only these two stood out? It's not only physical difficulties but emotional ones too? I am curious what emotional difficulties are you talking about? ... (read in full...)

Husband's naught pictures upset me

Q. Hello Everyone: I just got married, my age is over 50, I've been married 4 times twice to the first one. I love my husband very much. I will have to say this up front, no man is going to be perfect, "ever" BUT, I have been with him for quite a ...

A. 30 May 2012: A man doesn't have to be perfect, but for me I want him to be a monogamist. It totally defeats the purpose of marriage if one spouse is focusing his energies on other people. I wonder if you tell your husband you are hurt by his exchanges with other ... (read in full...)

What can I do to bring our once vibrant funfilled, loving, affectionate relationship back to life?

Q. I am twenty seven and have been with a man 22yrs my senior for three years, i feel like i'm no longer what he desires or is interested in.. We dont conversate and our sex life has nearly stopped. What can i do to bring our once vibrant funfilled, ...

A. 29 May 2012: Tell him your idea of a good relationship is that the fun lovingm affectionate part of the relationship does not stop. Ask him what changed. Are there underlying issues in the relationship? Do you feel like the relationship is going nowhere? Is the ... (read in full...)

Have seen this great guy a few times, but just don't know what to do next! Help!

Q. okay so I need some input on this: I put an ad on craiglist looking for a long term relationship...yeah yeah I know craiglist isnt the best place for this, but I'm tired of being single. Anyway, so I decided to give it a try. I stated what I wa...

A. 29 May 2012: First thing is to stop assuming that he is the last gentleman left. There are many good quality men out there. You shouldn't feel like you have to wait for him. In Craigslist you get sparse results compared to other dating websites. I would give him ... (read in full...)

How to deal with boyfriend getting another woman pregnant

Q. I have a boyfriend, we have been dating off an on about 5 years.Serious about an year and a half. I just found out a few months ago the he got some other woman pregnant.He didnt know she was prgnant till after the baby was 9 months old.So now she is ...

A. 29 May 2012: So for at least two years he has been keeping the baby a secret in front of you. 5 years ago he was dead sure he didn't want to be a father yet he wasn't too careful with using protection? Or did both the condom and the pill fail? I have no doub... (read in full...)

Is she interested and attracted to me?

Q. Hello, I am writing this letter to seek your valuable advise. There is this woman working in the same building as me but in a different office. When she joined her office, she was introduced to me by the HR who is common to both of us. It has be...

A. 29 May 2012: She is pretty forward about it. I hope that didn't stop you from chasing her? I get she is Indian too? She seems very confident that she can "get" you. You should be flattered. You should definitely call her.... (read in full...)

Does love no longer exist?

Q. Why does this keep happening? Does love not exist anymore? So my ex boyfriend cheated on me. I thought we were in love. We were on the phone all the time, I knew when he was showering or eating. I thought I knew his whereabouts but I was wrong....

A. 29 May 2012: Love and happiness is not a guarantee in life. There are some who are not really ready for a relationship but need sex, some who want to use others for comfort and to fill in the emptiness while missing their exes. Women cheat just as much so men ... (read in full...)

I'm sick and I'm disappointed that my b/f didn't care enough to call

Q. I was sick to my stomach and my bf of a couple months had spent the nite,he woke up next morning n said he had to go to check something at his house but would come rite back with medicine for me,well 4 hrs later he calls n said he had to help his ...

A. 27 May 2012: You pushed each other away unknowingly. Was the L word exchanged yet? It's not a good sign that this happens so early on in the relationship. You don't feel like you can rely on him. But on his side he feels that he needs your permission to go help ... (read in full...)

I'm confused! what do men want in dating?

Q. Can someone help me out here, please! I'm divorced had been with my husband for 10 years and have been single for 18 months, not looking to get into anything that will suffocate me as my marriage did. I've dated two guys in the last 6 months, well ...

A. 27 May 2012: Maybe you have different opinions on what dating is about. Men who don't want marriage still wants to feel needed. They want romance, intimacy and they want to hear your voice before going to bed. The thing in dating is that you can say whatever you ... (read in full...)

I'm worried about how our sex life will change as the bump gets bigger, and once I have a saggy, stretch-marked belly after giving birth. How can I keep my bf attracted to me?

Q. Hey, I'd love some advice on how having a child changes a person's relationship in terms of sex and attraction. I'm 16 weeks pregnant to my bf of 2 years, it's our first baby and although it was unplanned, he's very happy about becoming a father, ...

A. 27 May 2012: Weight gain and stretch marks are genetic. If your mom have them, then you would probably have it too. You could try wearing a belly support and put dr. Palmer's belly cream religiously, just to say you did your best because nothing is a guarantee. ... (read in full...)

Why are people so upset by the fact that I cant drive?

Q. For the longest time i have been fearful of the art of driving. as a teen i was never excited to get my drivers licensee like everyone else. I have always been baffled how people could go through life driving and ultimately putting there lives in ...

A. 26 May 2012: Many people see that driving as a milestone being an adult. The people around you may not know your anxiety problems. They don't know if you are generally anxious all the time and they thought you are just scared of trying. I think they have a ... (read in full...)

After 21 years, wife has found someone new and will go to counselling but wants to see him too!

Q. Today is my 21st anniversary, we have 4 kids, we have never fought, and just 3 days ago I found out that my wife met someone on a trip with friends. She has seen him one other time since then, again on a trip with these friends, they've kissed ...

A. 26 May 2012: A counsellor can't fix your marriage if one spouse does not want to. Continuing the affair means she does not want to. It is inconsiderate of her to play family, use your common space, but not treat you like a husband. She should have waited until ... (read in full...)

Is it a turn off/negative thing for a male to be a virgin?

Q. Hello. Is there a limit on how long you should be a virgin? I'm a male, turning later this year. I've never had intercourse before! What worries me is if that will put off a potential partner down the road? I'm not sure if that's a negative ...

A. 25 May 2012: I kind of like being with virgins because I can mold him into what I like sexually. I would set a high standard for him so even if we broke up he would still have me in him forver because I taught him the ropes and he could use his skill to please ... (read in full...)

Has my girlfriend lost interest in me?

Q. Ok so here's the shammy, well i'm not sure what to believe anymore but i'm feeling drained about the whole thing, and if i'm honest a little let down, Anyways my girlfriend has started ignoring me, and she never texts me back, or calls me, it has...

A. 25 May 2012: Were you present with her when she stole the wine? I couldn't have let a person steal and walk out. Even if I was on the phone I would tell that person we would break up if he continued what he was doing. Your girlfriend lost interest in life. ... (read in full...)

How can a dildo be more pleasureable than real sex?

Q. hello member of dearcupid i wanted to ask a question which is so much important for me ...hmm and i think for others too. so here it goes..i've had read on many magazines that only some woman reach orgasm during intercourse without another stimulat...

A. 25 May 2012: Male reader, I am only 31 I hope that a vibrator is not the answer that women seek. There is not much technique in thrusting. It is the duration. Women can communicate what they like but it is up to the men to control ejaculation. Orgasms get more ... (read in full...)

Guys, should I leave my wife for a more attractive, younger woman?

Q. For the last year I've been having an affair with a woman who's ten years younger. We love each other very much. She's got everything I wish I would have found in someone, before I married my wife. She's beautiful and has a great body, my wife ...

A. 24 May 2012: Don't leave your marriage hoping your lover would do the same. When you leave you accept the possibility that you would be all by yourself and you have to be okay that even if you are alone it is still better than a sexless marriage. A divorce gives ... (read in full...)

How can a dildo be more pleasureable than real sex?

A. 24 May 2012: There are dildos with a curved tip so they serve both the clitoris and the G spot inside. If a man is on top of the woman it can be hard for her to reach her fingers down to her clit. A dildo would not go limp and it's designed to hit the right ... (read in full...)

Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?

Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...

A. 24 May 2012: An agony uncle has a book recommended for everybody. I read it and it made sense. It's not a perfect book but it made me understand why biologically we are promiscuous and the one man one woman system just doesn't work for our bodies. It's called ... (read in full...)

My parents beat me, and now I try to push my husband to beat me. What can I do?

Q. Hi, I just need a little advice or whatever that can help me with this. I grow up in a disfunctional family. Im used to get beat from my parents physically and emotionally. Believe me its really hurt. It planted in my heart and in my soul. My eye...

A. 22 May 2012: Telling your husband to hit you is about regaining control you lost as a child, saying to yourself you can handle it because it is your own choice. It may feel good for a while, release stress, but at the end it does not teach you how to be more ... (read in full...)