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female
age
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*orever58
writes:I talk to this man for several years an he would send me little things little good morning here your coffee a flower or just some little something .we keep talkinf an found out we he use to live in same town that i do an know the same people .so we meet an an hit it off right then we sleep together heard from him off an on for a few years an he never would ask me out again so i thought he was messing with me you know just to see if i would go to bed with him again .so i block him an never talk to him again .now he has found me on another dateing site an he has look at my profile for maybe not every week but maybe 2 a month an i ask he why he keeps looking at me an he said he just likes looking at me .i told him the other day when i said i see you looking again . an he said did i want to go to cheeorke with him .i said the only time i hear from you is when your orny an he said he was not horny .an i told him that i wanted to be friend an he said he would get 2 rooms if i want 2 go .well i would like to know is he just after sex with me or what he is 69 an a widowder so now i am confuse about this .he is just saying this to try o get me back in bed again .would really like your advice on this .
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (3 May 2012):
 How long ago did you ask about dinner? There may be a reasonable explanation for his delay in responding.
Even if there isn't and he is only interested in sex sending him an angry email saying as much will make you look adolescent, weak, insecure and desperate. Never allow a man to think he can affect you this way.
Gracefully move on. If you hear from him, great. If not, there are plenty of others out there.
A
female
reader, forever58 +, writes (2 May 2012):
forever58 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionupdate on this guy well i said i would like to meet him for dinner .an when i ask him this i have not heard from him at all .seem i was right after all he wanted sex from me an thats all . so i just email him back an just said that what i thought you wanted from me . thanks for all the help . he was just messing with me an a jerk !!!
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female
reader, forever58 +, writes (29 April 2012):
forever58 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your advice an your point of view has help me alot .
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A
female
reader, forever58 +, writes (29 April 2012):
forever58 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe talk serval years an he never ask me out only would send me thing like i said . i took him as not serious about dateing me cause he just never put himself out there for me to ask him 2 .until we decided to meet an then we slept toget her . now after i think it's been 2 years or more he see me on another dateing site an ask would i be his friend i said yes . i see him talking to other women so in the last month or so he has been viewing my profile so i ask why are you doing this again . he said cause i like looking at you .well on the other site we were on he would do this an send me thing like te coffee thing so i took it he was messing with me .this was after we slept together .so that what i thought an now i am thinking he think the samething will happen if i go with him .he said he would get 2 rooms .but i think not i just don't believe him about this so i told him let;s just do lunch .have not hear from him yet i just let him know this today .
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female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (29 April 2012):
 He is talking to other people because you blocked him. For several years have you expressed a desire to be his girlfriend or did you let pride get in the way? I think he had thought about being serious with you but since you never said anything he didn't dare being a fool asking you out on a serious date, at the same time very comfortable with the status quo.
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female
reader, forever58 +, writes (29 April 2012):
forever58 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell you are right about this but what i am asking is why now after all thses years ask me to go to the mountain with him an i said only as friends an he said he would get 2 rooms . so can i trust him or not ? cause it seems like he never email me until he wants something from me . thats why i think he is messing with me ,i see him on line talking to other people an not me until he wants something from me .so now i am thinking no i don't want to go with him .i feel like he thinks i am not worth even emailing me until he wants something an thats not how it suppose to be .
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (29 April 2012):
If you're worried he might be using you for sex, the way to find out is not give it to him and see how long he sticks around.What kind of relationship do you want to have with this man? Do you want to go out for dinner? Lunch? Visit the museum? Go on tours of the city? Go to the cinema? Evening walks? Long drives? If so then make that a condition of being with you.You went to bed with him way too soon. By doing so, you taught him that he doesn't have to waste time or effort courting you. He just has to act nice, throw on a pair of sweat pants and show up your door. This is salvageable though.Do not beat around the bush or fish for compliments and affection. Don't ask him why he looks at your profile. The answer is obvious. Because he is interested. If, for example, he wants to get together, ask him what he has in mind. Give him a chance to think of something and if he can't or comes up with something dumb like hanging out at his place or yours tell him you'd like to go out for lunch at such and such place. Suggest a date and time. A daytime outing is preferable to an evening one because romance isn't hanging in the air in the middle of the afternoon in a busy restaurant. It's a subtle way of letting him know sex is not on the menu.Also important, VERY important actually, is to place a time limit on it. I recommend no more than 4 hours. Always leave them wanting more. When planning a lunch date you could say something like '1:00 is best for me because I have plans later in the day.' Do NOT volunteer what those plans are and don't imply that you're going out with another man. If he is rude enough to ask, you're going out with a girl friend of yours, or you'll be doing some spring cleaning or something. It doesn't matter if it isn't true. What DOES matter is that he understands this date is a lunch date, no sex and he won't have a chance to seduce you afterward. If he wants future dates with you, that is how it will be. AFTER a couple of months of this (at least) and if and when you feel inclined, THEN you might consider becoming more intimate, but don't just jump into intercourse or oral sex. Start slow and work your way up to greater intimacy gradually.Remember; cheap, dull, horny men who want into a woman's pants and a home cooked meal are a dime a dozen, at any age, so you can afford to be picky. Do not be too quick to jump into a committed relationship. He has nothing to lose and everything to gain by having one woman all to himself. You have a great deal to lose and little to gain by being that woman...for any man. You're free and you can live life on your terms, at your pace. Enjoy it.
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